JUST POSTING SO THAT DOUCHEY KNOWS THAT IF THAT CAT COMES TO HARM I WILL END HIM.
BE HUMANE, FAGGOT OR I WILL FIND YOU.
DON'T LISTEN TO HER, DON'T BE HUMANE! IT'S A TRICK TO GET YOUR MONEY!
HERE IS WHAT YOU DO:
1: ACQUIRE SHOVEL (BUY, BORROW, OR FIND ONE)
2: PROCEED TO BASH THE SHOVEL OVER THE CATS HEAD
3: GUT THE DAMNED THING. YOU CAN EAT THE MEAT IF YOU'RE HUNGRY
4: PROCEED TO STUFF IT AND MAKE IT A HALLOWEEN DECORATION
5: ????
6: PROFIT!
This Plan is BULLET proof, so you know it will work.
Why are you holding him on his balls, can't you see s/he's screaming of pain and confusion?
Yeah it's probably better we reveal that that's not really me. We wouldn't want the war kitty believing me again with him thinking that I'm that (obviously) underage looking kid.