How babies are made question from a 4-year old

What would you actually say if you have a four year old child ask you how babies are made?

This topic came out in my work last night and it made me curious about other people's answer. Some people actually gave me a detailed explanation, some just said they really have no idea what to say.

A girl and a boy holds hands for really really long.

I'd probably just say "babies are made by mummies and daddies" and if they ask how then "I'll explain when you get older". If they don't stop asking questions, as 4 year olds do, I'll probably just tell them that you make them by kissing someone they like a really long time. Which isn't too far from the truth, if you think about it.

Same thing my dad told me. Penis into vagina. Why lie to the kids for embarrassment sake. It not like you can't explain shit without sexual overtones and broader explanations.

Except my father said i fucked your mother. Im not that crass.

When Mommy and Daddy love each other very much…

I'd probably say when a man and a woman love each other they decide to make one using the proper tools.

Which tbh isn't really lying...

When I was younger I though it happened by kissing.
I would tell them ''a stork comes and fucks your mom.''

"A man and a woman do a special dance together." Not too farfetched. The rest can be learned in sex ed and porn.

Would probably tell them at that age, "when a man and woman love each other very much they will do things like kissing and hugging and holding hands. Sometimes this can lead to a miracle and the mommy starts to grow a baby in her belly." The sex talk and deeper questions/realistic notions would be for later since those usually come up around 9-14 age range. I think I was about 7 or 8 when I started to understand conception.

This was about the time when I really got to know how babies are made as well, yes. We had some quite nice books at home that really explained it well for children to understand. Hard to say how well they'd work for a 4-year old, but I wouldn't be surprised if they'd understand it better than you'd expect. My nephews have constantly surprised us with their knowledge of various topics over the years, for example perfectly describing the solar system way before even getting to school. I do agree with freaky, though, it's better to just explain it how it is, details can come later. Any silly tales will only come back to haunt you later when they get the (possibly not quite correct) information from less trustworthy sources since they won't trust you to tell them the truth or think you would be too embarrassed to talk about this with them (and so would be they, since it's clearly been a taboo so far).

I was taught by kissing and then somehow a stork comes. Then someone left the human anatomy book from the middle school open in 3rd grade...

I wasn't taught anything about sex, though I once heard my dad making an innuendo and sex was referred to as "mail" but can't quite remember the details. I remember getting awkward boners when cuddling a girl I liked in her bed when I was about 8 years old when we were playing "House". We were roleplaying as husband and wife.

I only found out a guy's dick goes into a woman's vagina through a porn book stashed under my dad's bed, which may have explained my tendancy to push my erect 8 year old dick between her legs (without actual penetration, lost my v-card when I was 17). I thought the white stuff that came out of the dude's dick was milk, so I'd dab on milk on my dick to see if it made any difference. It didn't.

Discovering porn taught me more about the act of sex than sex ed ever did. Would still recommend sex ed to tell you about pregnancy and STIs.

"Mom and dad lied in bed naked while kissing for a while."

first i ask why the child is asking. and then i will tell the true story. the sperm and egg cell meets.

When a mom and dad want a baby, the mom will one day find out she's pregnant.

I'll probably answer like this:
"It's when a Mommy and a Daddy loves each other so much, then a baby appears on Mom's stomach as the fruit of their love."

"You lil' kid is a fruit of their love so be sure to love you mommy and daddy back" :D

Since they're only 4 I'd give them the simple version. If I ever have kids I plan on giving them the full-on medical explanation, no stork or any other bs.

"You need some magic cream, a specialized stick and a certain hole."
A 4-year old DID ask me this before, and this was my reply.

Ohey this got sent to I.B.

I would describe it as clinically and with as many technical words as possible and have it begin at meiosis. Within 3 minutes of nucleotides I'll learn if they're genius tier children capable of taking the information with the required maturity or if they're just normal children who won't understand and lose interest to the nearest shiny thing. As I'm almost certain, considering the breeding stock around here, there won't be any children in group B I won't ever have to be the unfortunate person tasked with the explanation unless I have children of my own someday, but this hypothetical child will have volumes of text meant for college students as bedtime stories and be pushed toward greatness as hard as I humanly can, I won't suffer that kid to survive the same shitty twenties as I am.