If the Wani Magazines Were Basketball Players
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I've been watching "The Last Dance" documentary series over the last two weeks (if you like basketball, you should watch it) and I came up with the idea of comparing the Wani Magazines to basketball players. I'll mostly be talking about the magazine as if I was talking about that player. My understanding of basketball stats isn't to my liking so I won't drop stats. I do know the general storylines behind each player though.
Kairakuten = Shaquille O'Neal
On a Bill Simmons podcast, the topic of Shaq vs Tim Duncan briefly came up. The guest, former sports columnist for the L.A Times, J.A Adande said that while Duncan was consistently great throughout his career, the peaks of Shaq were higher than Duncan but the lows were lower as well. This sums up Kairakuten: When Kairakuten is at its peak, it's the best hentai magazine in the industry hands down. However, there are issues in which Kairakuten is just good or even just average.
Kairakuten BEAST = Scottie Pippen
The Robin to Batman. Accepts their role as second fiddle but still consistently puts up great numbers and makes winning contributions. Probably can't lead the team to a championship as the alpha (this is debatable for Pippen since unlike Jordan, Pippen and the Bulls didn't take a two year sabbatical to play baseball) but can have moments where they look like the best player on the court.
Shitsurakuten = Kobe Bryant (RIP)
I'm talking about Kobe from 1999-2001. An aesthetically pleasing player to watch when going one on one. Don't get me wrong, Kobe was very skilled at this time, but goddamn his game was so pretty you forget how ball hoggy he could be at times. He also had a confident swag to him, like he believed he was the best player on the court and that the Lakers were his team. However, everyone knew (and Kobe did as well in certain moments) that the ball should go through Shaq.
X-Eros = Dennis Rodman
Appreciates the less flashy aspects of basketball and does them very well. The oddly colored hair, nails and the flamboyant outfits help too. Also the partying and drugs. For some reason if I imagined X-Eros as a person, that person would go to a club, take bunch of ecstasy, and party all night long.
Weekly Kairakuten - Anthony Davis
I'm talking about Anthony Davis on the 2012 Olympic team: a young kid surrounded by superstars. Has the potential to be a great player but for now is relegated to the bench/garbage time and is only used for menial tasks.
(Looking at it, this is a fucking good team).
Kairakuten = Shaquille O'Neal
On a Bill Simmons podcast, the topic of Shaq vs Tim Duncan briefly came up. The guest, former sports columnist for the L.A Times, J.A Adande said that while Duncan was consistently great throughout his career, the peaks of Shaq were higher than Duncan but the lows were lower as well. This sums up Kairakuten: When Kairakuten is at its peak, it's the best hentai magazine in the industry hands down. However, there are issues in which Kairakuten is just good or even just average.
Kairakuten BEAST = Scottie Pippen
The Robin to Batman. Accepts their role as second fiddle but still consistently puts up great numbers and makes winning contributions. Probably can't lead the team to a championship as the alpha (this is debatable for Pippen since unlike Jordan, Pippen and the Bulls didn't take a two year sabbatical to play baseball) but can have moments where they look like the best player on the court.
Shitsurakuten = Kobe Bryant (RIP)
I'm talking about Kobe from 1999-2001. An aesthetically pleasing player to watch when going one on one. Don't get me wrong, Kobe was very skilled at this time, but goddamn his game was so pretty you forget how ball hoggy he could be at times. He also had a confident swag to him, like he believed he was the best player on the court and that the Lakers were his team. However, everyone knew (and Kobe did as well in certain moments) that the ball should go through Shaq.
X-Eros = Dennis Rodman
Appreciates the less flashy aspects of basketball and does them very well. The oddly colored hair, nails and the flamboyant outfits help too. Also the partying and drugs. For some reason if I imagined X-Eros as a person, that person would go to a club, take bunch of ecstasy, and party all night long.
Weekly Kairakuten - Anthony Davis
I'm talking about Anthony Davis on the 2012 Olympic team: a young kid surrounded by superstars. Has the potential to be a great player but for now is relegated to the bench/garbage time and is only used for menial tasks.
(Looking at it, this is a fucking good team).