[Locked] How do I gain her trust back and make her pain go away? :(

Now that you've vented, I hope you'll find some time to make a proper introduction here on Fakku, in the Meet and Greet section. Hope to see you there. :)

FUCK, I THOUGHT SO! XD

And not lame! RyuujixTaiga forever~! <3

I hope he does make a proper welcome, though, and gets himself more acquainted with the site.

Was about to say, that explains the Ying (Ryuuji) to your Yang (Taiga).

This.
Whilst trying not to meddle too much (I have been a bit >.> )
I want you (the op, not otaku) to really try. If you are willing that is, If you aren't willing, I'd say that's all the reason she'd need.
But if you are willing, do as I said in my above post. And don't just say it. MEAN IT, DO IT, FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR WORDS.

I just got Iron Maiden -The Evil That Men Do.

The evil that men do lives on and on..

You're already taking all the necessary steps. You have to realize that you were given an ultimatum. It will be your last. You have to know, in your heart of hearts, that your wife LOVES you. Truly. Fiercely. If she did not believe you were her true love, you can bet your unfaithful ass that she would have left AGES ago.

What you have done to your wife is .. nothing short of disgusting. But not necessarily irreparable. Both you and your wife need to keep a very stringent routine as far as counseling goes. From all that I've read, I'm almost convinced you may be somehow.. addicted to female attention. Bring this up with your counselor.

It will hurt your wife to hear you explain all that goes on in your mind and body when you make sexual contact or banter with extra-marital females, but if you are THOROUGH, and if you are BLATANTLY HONEST, you have a CHANCE to ACTUALLY MAKE IT WORK.

This will be HELL. But if you want to repay even an OUNCE of the love and loyalty your wife has shown you, you will march your ass into that therapy room and pour your fucking soul out. All the dirt. All the shadows. Come CLEAN.

It will take a very long time before your wife will be able to trust you again. It will take a very long time of constant effort. Surrender all your passwords. Change the ones you use the most often to things like 'Ilovemywife'. You need a constant reminder that you're vowed to someone. You made her a promise when you exchanged vows. You'll break her heart every single time you break your most sacred vow.

I'm not going to sit here and flame you. I know that underneath your reprehensible behavior, is a human being with a beating heart.

If nothing else,

Ask yourself what you want most right now. And choose it. Once you've chosen, be faithful and unflagging in your loyalty to that choice. Because you will not be given another chance. At least.. if your wife has even the slightest bit of respect for herself and her value as a human being, you most certainly will not be given another chance.

I feel like you're getting a lot of anger in this thread, and it's largely deserved. However, I fundamentally believe that people can change if they want it enough. And I mean wholeheartedly want it. I've seen many relationships where one member regrets hurting the other, says they're willing to do anything to fix it, and then go and screw it all up again and again.

I don't want to disbelieve anyone's words. But, there is a chance that you don't mean what you're currently saying enough to stick with it. If that is the case, it's only a matter of time before you go and do such a thing again. However, if you do genuinely wish to change into someone worthy of your wife's love, don't tell me or anyone else on here, because that doesn't matter. Go ahead and tell your wife and yourself if you wish, you've both heard your promises before, but it probably won't hurt. But what you absolutely must do, is act out these promises. And only time will tell if you have it in you to do so.

After reading what you wrote, you're not too great of a guy in my opinion. But my opinion doesn't mean much, nor does anyone else's except hers:



If you genuinely are able to do for her what she is willing to do for you, this will work out. I don't think divorce is in anyway the answer here. Pardon me if it's not my place to say this, but she won't be able to get over you. And you won't be able to get over her. There is only one better man out there for her, and that's a better you. That may not have been the case before you two met, but I'm willing to bet it's the case now.

You owe it to her. Her love for you has the brightness of the sun. You may never equal it, but you owe it to her to light a candle of your own love and strengthen it every day until it is worthy of basking in the radiance of the sun.

And, if nothing else, you owe it to yourself. You may have done some bad things, but you're still a human being. You still need respect to live; your own if no one else's. And if you back away from this, you may never regain your own respect. And I don't think you could live with that.

There's so many replies that I don't think I can keep up with them all, but I do understand why everyone's so pissed at me and why there's a lot of you who don't believe what I say about wanting to change... But I do. As for all of the girls I talked to online before, I never really cared about any of them, but it felt good to be wanted by other girls. I was also always kind of jealous that my wife has quite a few guys that admire her, though I know she never had lead those guys on or would even think to flirt with them or do the things I've done with all those other girls. She always stopped them if they overstepped her boundaries and always thought about me and my feelings, while I acted as if she never existed... I know that she only ever wants me, and I AM a cunt for ever wanting more than all that she's given me... That was beyond selfish.


If I could, I'd take it all back and treat her the way she deserves to be treated, but I can't, so the only thing I can do now is do my damnedest to make it up to her and show her how much I love her... And I could be trying to rush the process too much and am not giving her enough time to see that... So I'll keep trying I guess, and try to be more patient.





Desi, I love you more than you'll ever know, though I know I have a hell of a way of showing it. If I didn't love you, I would've never asked you to marry me, honest. Believe me when I say I'm willing to do anything for you....

Okay then, I believe you. But please remember that I meant what I said. This is your final chance. I don't want to land up resenting you, so... Please stick to your word. I know I'm not the best girl and that there are plenty of others out there that are prettier, sociable, more fun to be around, more intelligent, and all of that, but... I still think I deserve to be in a faithful, happy, and loving relationship. If you can give that to me, then I don't need anything else.


Everyone, I thank you all for your concern, and I'm also sorry for all of this drama. I never thought all of this would come out in the open so suddenly, and I'm a bit embarrassed that certain things about me have been revealed like this.

you disgust me so much you flirted around when from what Ive read when you had a great girl who's is absolutely devoted to you you video taped her having sex with you which is such a disgusting thing to do to anyone let alone your wife without there permission.

i doubt it will ever be the same between you but i suggest you do everything in your power to fix this to make it as close as possible or just give it up don't torture the poor girl with your half assed love.

also if you cheated on her well you were dating you know which is basically the trial run for marriage what makes you think that the marriage will change it at all.

you also replied to her over a fucking forum she may be shy from what i read and she may prefer this but i don't know that for certain but all i can see is by making this forum you seem like a unfaithful little shit as well as a coward.

Did you get her permission before posting anything about this?

you exposed her secrets to the forum which she may not mind but you exposed it to some internet whore over a dating site.

from everything ive read you don't deserver a girl like her you deserve to live your life alone if she accepts you back thats fine.

all i can say is you deserve no one at all.

Have you read the latest post that the wife just made above this one? -_-

nope i left for a while thinking i hit reply i didn't so i ended up hitting it when i came back and left again.

-________-

You know, it would really help if you guys actually read through at least the latest posts by the OP, if not all the posts, to at least get the latest update on things. You have no idea how many idiots ignorantly post "advice" AFTER the main matter of the thread has already been resolved.

ya but i was in a hurry i read it after but either way i still find what i said true from what he said she just happens to be a forgiving person.

and im fine with being an idiot truths the truth you aren't the first to say and definitely not the last

edit:id read everyones post but i made my post before the wife made hers i just forgot to hit reply

I believe it'd be in the best interest of all parties to close the thread, as now it is the time for these two to work to heal their marriage, their relationship and their love life. While, as friends we can certainly help out but we can only give that help when they ask for it.

Desi-chan, you have nothing to apologize for and perhaps it was for the best that this came out into the open in a community of friends where you both see that you have people rooting for you, pulling for you and genuinely wishing for your happiness. That, and now you can truly say that neither of you has anything to hide from the other. Now that you both know where you both stand, you can begin the work to repair the marriage.

Do not be modest, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Despite everything I would like to thank you and your husband for inviting us to be a part of your microcosm. The feelings and problems of both you and your husband were utterly human and terrific. I hope things work out for you both.

I'll request for a thread lock, Since it's pretty much up to them.

I hope that he follows through with his word and doesn't cheat again, for otaku's sake.

Good luck, and I hope you guys get back on the tracks towards a happy and loving marriage.

Unbelievable how amazing your wife is sir.

She should never have married your sorry ass.

If you aren't able to even keep fidelity, how can you even say you love her? If you find yourself cheating on her again, why don't you be a man for once and do the honorable thing and let her go.

Because despite what she says, you can be happy if the one you love doesn't love you back.

Because what you would be feeling about not wanting her to go is not love, it's merely possessiveness if you can't even feel it in yourself to hold the bonds of marriage sacred.

Honestly, you don't even deserve this chance. So count your numerous lucky stars that she has a heart big enough for two people.

Again, if you hurt her again, you should do the honorable thing and end things because you are neither mature enough or deserving enough to be in a relationship with such a wonderful person.

And don't whine about how you love her. What you've shown isn't love. Disgusting.

Look what you do and want this is so your stuff I cant say anything but crazymissotaku if you ever want to talk to someone no judging and it doesnt have to be about him send me a PM anytime