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I guess its really hard for me to meet people, let alone try and start a intimate relationship with another person. I find it difficult to just walk up to people and shoot the ship. Most of my friends say clubs are a good way to meet people but that doesn't help me at all due to the fact that I'd like a "wingman" and all my friends are wrapping up collage pretty soon and don't have time to chill outside of campus. I spent elementary school with no friends until around 5th grade. Thats When I started to loosen up and make a few friends. so I guess my "Isolation" stems from that. Basically in a nut shell I'm shy
I'm currently living at my parents house, mostly because its harder then hell to find a job in Michigan. And I'm currently broke at the moment (bought a new vehicle) So with that being said its hard for me to fork over the cash to go into the city to meet people to begin with. I'm not a bad guy or anything, I'm in a huge downward spiral in my life at the moment.
So I guess what I'm gonna ask you guys is, How do you go about meeting new people? like say making friends? or an intimate relationship?
I'm currently living at my parents house, mostly because its harder then hell to find a job in Michigan. And I'm currently broke at the moment (bought a new vehicle) So with that being said its hard for me to fork over the cash to go into the city to meet people to begin with. I'm not a bad guy or anything, I'm in a huge downward spiral in my life at the moment.
So I guess what I'm gonna ask you guys is, How do you go about meeting new people? like say making friends? or an intimate relationship?
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There is no "one size fits all" way to meet people or getting into an intimate relationship.
All you really have to do is simply find a group of people that you share an interest with, talk to someone casually, rinse and repeat and presto! You have a new set of friends. Don't expect it to happen overnight however. Building any relationship takes time and effort.
IMO clubs are probably the worst place to try and make friends. People don't go to clubs to meet people, they go to hang out with already existing friends or to hook-up for the night with a random stranger. These group are usually very closed-off from others as they are already comfortable amongst themselves.
A simple hello works well for most, so don't be afraid to speak to another person, they don't bite... too hard that is^^. Good luck to you.
All you really have to do is simply find a group of people that you share an interest with, talk to someone casually, rinse and repeat and presto! You have a new set of friends. Don't expect it to happen overnight however. Building any relationship takes time and effort.
IMO clubs are probably the worst place to try and make friends. People don't go to clubs to meet people, they go to hang out with already existing friends or to hook-up for the night with a random stranger. These group are usually very closed-off from others as they are already comfortable amongst themselves.
A simple hello works well for most, so don't be afraid to speak to another person, they don't bite... too hard that is^^. Good luck to you.
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Just try to not close yourself that much. Smile and be nice, be yourself, small talks lead to realize common interests, wich make conversations a lot easier. Making bonds it's not easy, and real friends are rare. About intimate relationships, all my previous boyfriends were really good friends of mine at first, love came afterwards.
Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
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VGuy wrote...
There is no "one size fits all" way to meet people or getting into an intimate relationship.All you really have to do is simply find a group of people that you share an interest with, talk to someone casually, rinse and repeat and presto! You have a new set of friends. Don't expect it to happen overnight however. Building any relationship takes time and effort.
IMO clubs are probably the worst place to try and make friends. People don't go to clubs to meet people, they go to hang out with already existing friends or to hook-up for the night with a random stranger. These group are usually very closed-off from others as they are already comfortable amongst themselves.
A simple hello works well for most, so don't be afraid to speak to another person, they don't bite... too hard that is^^. Good luck to you.
hmmm i was always told clubs where a good way but eh alrighty then. Its not that I'm afraid to talk to people its just new people, I mean I'm a gamer so I stop at gamestop more then I should, so the guys and gals there know me pretty well, I've got no problem chatting with them when I don't even know their names. hell one of the chashier ladys calls me "Hun" not that I hate that mind you :D but just randomly singling out people or small groups to talk to would either scare me off or make me edgy
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kitty93 wrote...
Just try to not close yourself that much. Smile and be nice, be yourself, small talks lead to realize common interests, wich make conversations a lot easier. Making bonds it's not easy, and real friends are rare. About intimate relationships, all my previous boyfriends were really good friends of mine at first, love came afterwards. Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
I wouldn't say I close myself that much its just the approach and trying to get a conversation started that scares me. likes say I walk up to a person and say "whats up?" and then they say "oh nothing" am I just supposed to point out the obvious and talk about whatever is in our surroundings? like say "lovely weather we are having?" thats seems a little too...how do I want to put this? classic?
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Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Just try to not close yourself that much. Smile and be nice, be yourself, small talks lead to realize common interests, wich make conversations a lot easier. Making bonds it's not easy, and real friends are rare. About intimate relationships, all my previous boyfriends were really good friends of mine at first, love came afterwards. Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
I wouldn't say I close myself that much its just the approach and trying to get a conversation started that scares me. likes say I walk up to a person and say "whats up?" and then they say "oh nothing" am I just supposed to point out the obvious and talk about whatever is in our surroundings? like say "lovely weather we are having?" thats seems a little too...how do I want to put this? classic?
Well, it's not like you're going to say hi to a stranger like that. It depends on your enviroment. You're in college i guess? try asking someone for a book, for example. You have an excuse to start a conversation, then you could start talking about your fav books, genres and things like that. From this topic, you could jump to e-books, computers, technology..
That's usually what i try to do.
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kitty93 wrote...
Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Just try to not close yourself that much. Smile and be nice, be yourself, small talks lead to realize common interests, wich make conversations a lot easier. Making bonds it's not easy, and real friends are rare. About intimate relationships, all my previous boyfriends were really good friends of mine at first, love came afterwards. Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
I wouldn't say I close myself that much its just the approach and trying to get a conversation started that scares me. likes say I walk up to a person and say "whats up?" and then they say "oh nothing" am I just supposed to point out the obvious and talk about whatever is in our surroundings? like say "lovely weather we are having?" thats seems a little too...how do I want to put this? classic?
Well, it's not like you're going to say hi to a stranger like that. It depends on your enviroment. You're in college i guess? try asking someone for a book, for example. You have an excuse to start a conversation, then you could start talking about your fav books, genres and things like that. From this topic, you could jump to e-books, computers, technology..
That's usually what i try to do.
nah I don't plan on attending collage the career I want doesn't need things like that.
You've got a point. NEVER THE LESS! talk to somebody new isn't one of my strong points, maybe I'm worried about first impressions now that I think about it
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Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Just try to not close yourself that much. Smile and be nice, be yourself, small talks lead to realize common interests, wich make conversations a lot easier. Making bonds it's not easy, and real friends are rare. About intimate relationships, all my previous boyfriends were really good friends of mine at first, love came afterwards. Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
I wouldn't say I close myself that much its just the approach and trying to get a conversation started that scares me. likes say I walk up to a person and say "whats up?" and then they say "oh nothing" am I just supposed to point out the obvious and talk about whatever is in our surroundings? like say "lovely weather we are having?" thats seems a little too...how do I want to put this? classic?
Well, it's not like you're going to say hi to a stranger like that. It depends on your enviroment. You're in college i guess? try asking someone for a book, for example. You have an excuse to start a conversation, then you could start talking about your fav books, genres and things like that. From this topic, you could jump to e-books, computers, technology..
That's usually what i try to do.
nah I don't plan on attending collage the career I want doesn't need things like that.
You've got a point. NEVER THE LESS! talk to somebody new isn't one of my strong points, maybe I'm worried about first impressions now that I think about it
I see. But you got my point :D ofc, talking to someone you don't know will always get you nervous. But people don't bite, and you've got nothing to loose. ;)
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kitty93 wrote...
Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Just try to not close yourself that much. Smile and be nice, be yourself, small talks lead to realize common interests, wich make conversations a lot easier. Making bonds it's not easy, and real friends are rare. About intimate relationships, all my previous boyfriends were really good friends of mine at first, love came afterwards. Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
I wouldn't say I close myself that much its just the approach and trying to get a conversation started that scares me. likes say I walk up to a person and say "whats up?" and then they say "oh nothing" am I just supposed to point out the obvious and talk about whatever is in our surroundings? like say "lovely weather we are having?" thats seems a little too...how do I want to put this? classic?
Well, it's not like you're going to say hi to a stranger like that. It depends on your enviroment. You're in college i guess? try asking someone for a book, for example. You have an excuse to start a conversation, then you could start talking about your fav books, genres and things like that. From this topic, you could jump to e-books, computers, technology..
That's usually what i try to do.
nah I don't plan on attending collage the career I want doesn't need things like that.
You've got a point. NEVER THE LESS! talk to somebody new isn't one of my strong points, maybe I'm worried about first impressions now that I think about it
I see. But you got my point :D ofc, talking to someone you don't know will always get you nervous. But people don't bite, and you've got nothing to loose. ;)
But there might be that super slim chance I run into that person again. I live in A VERY small community like 700 people maybe? the closest city is half an hour away and my new vehicle isn't exactly eco-friendly. but I'd very much like to meet somebody like on the web and talk a little and see them in person. its a lot easier to get to know people this way for me =3=
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Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Hildedge wrote...
kitty93 wrote...
Just try to not close yourself that much. Smile and be nice, be yourself, small talks lead to realize common interests, wich make conversations a lot easier. Making bonds it's not easy, and real friends are rare. About intimate relationships, all my previous boyfriends were really good friends of mine at first, love came afterwards. Like VGuy, i don't think clubs are really a good option, because of the reasons he already said.
I wouldn't say I close myself that much its just the approach and trying to get a conversation started that scares me. likes say I walk up to a person and say "whats up?" and then they say "oh nothing" am I just supposed to point out the obvious and talk about whatever is in our surroundings? like say "lovely weather we are having?" thats seems a little too...how do I want to put this? classic?
Well, it's not like you're going to say hi to a stranger like that. It depends on your enviroment. You're in college i guess? try asking someone for a book, for example. You have an excuse to start a conversation, then you could start talking about your fav books, genres and things like that. From this topic, you could jump to e-books, computers, technology..
That's usually what i try to do.
nah I don't plan on attending collage the career I want doesn't need things like that.
You've got a point. NEVER THE LESS! talk to somebody new isn't one of my strong points, maybe I'm worried about first impressions now that I think about it
I see. But you got my point :D ofc, talking to someone you don't know will always get you nervous. But people don't bite, and you've got nothing to loose. ;)
But there might be that super slim chance I run into that person again. I live in A VERY small community like 700 people maybe? the closest city is half an hour away and my new vehicle isn't exactly eco-friendly. but I'd very much like to meet somebody like on the web and talk a little and see them in person. its a lot easier to get to know people this way for me =3=
Hmm, try when you get a job or your neighboors i guess (?
And yes! internet it's an easier way lol.
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I feared that the club aspect wouldn't work for me either because of the points said by vguy. But it worked for me when I joined my college's anime club. I made a whole bunch of new friends, and for me sometimes it's hard to talk to new people cause I'm so damn shy.
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kitty93 wrote...
Hmm, try when you get a job or your neighboors i guess (? And yes! internet it's an easier way lol.
I did have a job not to long ago at a Denso Factory, but they told me I was too slow and gave me the boot. theres only a total of 12 houses on the road I live on, there most old folk at that, none around my age.
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Perhaps you really should go to college so you'll at least be able to do something other than non-skilled labor.
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Clubs are a great way to get a sexually transmitted disease and a hangover from hell. Not so much a meaningful relationship of any kind -- platonic or romantic.
My advice to you is to pursue your own interests. Do the things you love to do. If you meet someone in an environment that's personally relevant to you, you stand a far better chance actually making a connection.
My advice to you is to pursue your own interests. Do the things you love to do. If you meet someone in an environment that's personally relevant to you, you stand a far better chance actually making a connection.
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Sprite wrote...
Perhaps you really should go to college so you'll at least be able to do something other than non-skilled labor.they only collage I'd be able to attend either my level of IQ would be a place called MCTI, its a place for disabled people in a nut shell. by disabled I mean like emotional issues,bad at math,science,anger issues, etc. I actually took a tour there and wasn't impressed at all, the buildings where poorly kept, it smelled like a hospital and the students all had that classic "nerd" look about them.
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Lollikittie wrote...
Clubs are a great way to get a sexually transmitted disease and a hangover from hell. Not so much a meaningful relationship of any kind -- platonic or romantic.My advice to you is to pursue your own interests. Do the things you love to do. If you meet someone in an environment that's personally relevant to you, you stand a far better chance actually making a connection.
True. But when I do the things I love to do I;m never around people to being with anyway
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Outside of school? Damned if I know... I worry about that too!
But don't go about it toooooo sketchily - like Lolikittie said, not everyone out there is as clean or clear-record-holding as your peers. Interest groups are a good idea, though!
But don't go about it toooooo sketchily - like Lolikittie said, not everyone out there is as clean or clear-record-holding as your peers. Interest groups are a good idea, though!
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gizgal wrote...
Outside of school? Damned if I know... I worry about that too!But don't go about it toooooo sketchily - like Lolikittie said, not everyone out there is as clean or clear-record-holding as your peers. Interest groups are a good idea, though!
well like most people say, once your done with school you lose about half of your friends. with mes I lost all but 2. is there such a thing as interest groups?
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Hildedge wrote...
Sprite wrote...
Perhaps you really should go to college so you'll at least be able to do something other than non-skilled labor.they only collage I'd be able to attend either my level of IQ would be a place called MCTI, its a place for disabled people in a nut shell. by disabled I mean like emotional issues,bad at math,science,anger issues, etc. I actually took a tour there and wasn't impressed at all, the buildings where poorly kept, it smelled like a hospital and the students all had that classic "nerd" look about them.
Don't talk about yourself like that. Also, even if its something you don't like, as long as it will benefit you, its worth a try.