[For Non-Virgins] If You Could Choose Another

I would change everything?

The who ...
I would give my virginity to my current bf.

The when ...
When we were ready.

The where ...
In a bed.

Simply I regret being weak, giving in to my ex, and losing my dignity. My ex described in two words by everyone in this city as "MAN WHORE"

I struggle with this so much. I would have liked to have done it with someone I actually loved. I would have liked to have done it with someone who was comfortable with themselves, as I was uncomfortable with myself at the time. I would have liked to have done it out of passion rather than obligation. I would have liked to have done it with an actual woman, and not a pre-op transgender. I would have liked to have not felt violated afterwards.

I would have liked a lot of things. That doesn't mean I'd change it for the world. It made me, and presumably, her, who we are today. It's shaped by sexual urges and interests and gave me the stepping stone I need to experience true sexual pleasure. So, no. As much as it was a nightmare of a first time, both the act itself and the circumstances that surrounded it, I wouldn't change it. Never.

Probably everything the same with the second guy I slept with, or I'd perfer to have not done it with anyone at all. Since everytime I was so drunk I couldn't walk, worst mistakes of my life. The first guy got way too obsessed with me after, and went on about how we were ment to be together and shit. Clingy guys that you aren't interested in aren't good T___T