After reading through some of the other stories here, I think the thread deserves a necro post. Unfortunately, I'm not sure anybody will ever best OP's first post. I haven't had many crazy experiences myself, but I guess I do have a few stories I could share here:
Besides being accidentally pissed on once and being caught by a girlfriend's little sister, I've supposedly told my girlfriend to "Stop fucking touching me, nigga. I'm trying to sleep." From what she's told me, that was the result of her trying to put the moves on me after getting home late from work while I was already half asleep, but I don't remember that whatsoever. I'll admit that I did get a good laugh outta it when she told me about it the following morning.
There was also a time when I got down on my knees while we were showering together and started giving her oral, but she decided to lean backwards after a few moments and leaned far enough back to have a stream of water run down her body and directly into my mouth! I could've drowned and she was just standing there laughing hysterically!
More of an awkward/adorable moment: The first girl I was ever involved with (during the summer before entering 9th grade, iirc) and myself often visited this public park near my house. Being in 9th-10th grade, we didn't really have a reliable place to fool around and I once told her to wear a sundress the next time we go to the park and I would mess around with her a bit there and she agreed. Fast forward a few days, we visited the park again and were having a picnic and just relaxing for a while.
This was the first time I've ever touched a girl and I was incredibly shy about it and wasn't really thinking about rushing into it right away, but I guess she had other ideas that day. After maybe twenty minutes of being at the park, she kept leaving to visit the restroom every 5-10 minutes and, after a while, I started to think something might be wrong and offered to take her home, but she said no and literally straight out asked me if I could start playing with her already! Keep in mind, she was a virgin as far as I knew and this was also her first time ever doing something like this, so for her to ask for it the way she did surprised me.
I remember that she told me that I could, but to stay outside her panties because she didn't think she was ready to go all out, but she quickly changed her mind and pulled those to the side! I wasn't trying to push any boundaries so I simply did as she asked, inserting a finger and eventually going down for some oral and, long story short, things went smoothly.
After getting home, she later told me over the phone that she kept leaving for the bathroom because she was getting "too wet" and would've been embarrassed if I had decided to start while she was like that, so she was in a constant cycle of thinking about what I might do and getting too wet before leaving to clean herself up. I actually thought it was pretty adorable, tbh.