Flopsided wrote...
I have two major regrets in my life, both of them are extremely personal.
I had been in a three year, long distance relationship. We went through a lot together, especially since he had moved unexpectedly shortly after we had gotten together. My family life was rapidly deteriorating me physically and emotionally, and his live was getting better. I wasn't jealous of his life, and we only wished for us to be physically near each other again. We had plans to be with each other for a long time, and eventually, he proposed.
Shortly after the proposal, I started to feel an ominous dread. After a few weeks of this, he told me that he had enlisted in the army, and that he would be heading off to Afghanistan in a month. I couldn't bear it, and we came to a mutual decision of waiting until he returned to start over. 2 years passed from then, and I found it in my best emotional interest to find emotional support elsewhere. I met another man, who appeared decent at first, but turned out to be the worst person I've ever met. He was physically, mentally, and verbally abusive. I can't even describe the things he had done to me without disturbing any of you. After a year of dating him, I got a surprise visit from my old boyfriend/fiancee, and we spend a day with each other that we both enjoyed. He was staying at my friends house, a friend who my current boyfriend knew as well. Once he heard that we were had spent the day together, he rushed over in a fit of rage, and yelled at me and degraded me in front of my ex. It was absolutely humiliating, and there was nothing my ex could do to stop it, not without losing his job. At that point, I had a choice: to leave my current boyfriend to return to my ex like I have always wanted, or to stay with my current boyfriend. Sadly, at that point in time, I wasn't strong enough to defy him, and I chose to deny my ex. I regret staying with that abusive man, and I regret having left my ex in the first place. Thankfully, I am in a strong, healthy relationship with someone else, who I am glad that I have met, and we plan to have a long-term relationship with each other. My ex and I are still great friends, but we both aren't over each other. This doesn't effect our other relationships, but it just reminds us both of our regrets for letting each other go.
Another regret of mine is very emotional. During my period of being homeless, I had received a letter from my birth father in the mail, sent to my parent's house. He had written to me that he wanted me to come live with him, and that he wanted me to call him and tell him of my decision. I received that letter too late, though. A few weeks after the letter had arrived without my knowing, I had an overwhelming feeling that I should call my birth father and ask to live with him. I had dialed all but the last digit to his number, but I hesitated and got scared, since I hadn't spoken to him in years, and I didn't call him. The next day, I got a call from my sister, who lived near him. He had committed suicide that morning. I had lost all chance of living a better life, and for giving my birth father a chance to live a happier life as well. I regret not calling him, because I know that phone call would have saved his life. It was only after my birth fathers death that my mom showed me the letter he had sent, which she had opened, read, and hid from me. I will never forgive my mom for doing that, and I'm not sure I can forgive myself for hesitating on making that choice.
I'm not a psychologist or anything, but... I'm sure you regret not making those choices. Your father might've even lived too....
But the past is the past, nothing can change it.
I'm not telling you to "forgive yourself", oh shit no. I'm just a dude from the internet, I have no right to say anything like that.
BUT let me say, it's because of the choices you made that you are who you are today. And because you lived through those tragedies that i'm sure you've become someone who's much stronger than who she was then.
Sooooo, what? I guess you could raise your chin and smile? Yeah, that's it. Cheesy, but goooooood :3