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A spokesperson for the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) has confirmed the fears of many in the scientific world after revealing that the reason for the sudden closure of the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s most expensive physics experiment, was not due to "technical problems" as previously stated, but because its controversial particle collisions have sensationally rendered a "tiny black hole" in the fabric of space.
"I can confirm that, yes, the first stages of the experiment resulted in the appearance of a miniscule black hole," said the spokesperson to gathered reporters on Monday. "The black hole is being kept under quarantine and our scientists have been monitoring its progression," he explained.
CERN-admits-black-hole-ripped-in-space-by-Large-Hadron-Collider
"I can confirm that, yes, the first stages of the experiment resulted in the appearance of a miniscule black hole," said the spokesperson to gathered reporters on Monday. "The black hole is being kept under quarantine and our scientists have been monitoring its progression," he explained.
CERN-admits-black-hole-ripped-in-space-by-Large-Hadron-Collider
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KLoWn wrote...
Ok...and how the hell are they supposed to "quarantine" a black hole?Very carefully.
I sense shenanigans though.
Everyone knows the time travelers with superior technology who will enslave the human race can only appear as a result of a collision between a protostar and an equal amount of antimatter reduced on the quantum level to +1/2. :x
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According to Special Crisis Operations (SCO) executive, Mr. C. Norris. The LHC broke down before collisions could begin. The story that the LHC smashed particles together before it broke down is just an Urban Legend.
However it is true that some scientists recommend more conclusive safety studies before high energy collisions begin and other scientists recommend proceeding more slowly and more cautiously.
However it is true that some scientists recommend more conclusive safety studies before high energy collisions begin and other scientists recommend proceeding more slowly and more cautiously.
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Jonoe wrote...
According to Special Crisis Operations (SCO) executive, Mr. C. Norris.Oh i see what yo did thar
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Klorofolun wrote...
KLoWn wrote...
Ok...and how the hell are they supposed to "quarantine" a black hole?Very carefully.
Containing it in a glass jar? :lol:
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IF this baby black hole is true. I WANT TO SEE THE FRICKIN PICTURES GIMME THEM FROM GREEDY SCIENTISTS! XD
Read Carefully.
The Obama administration's shadowy Special Crisis Operations (SCO) executive, Mr. C. Norris, told Washington reporters at a hastily-arranged news conference that his elite team was monitoring the situation closely and was ready to resolve any emerging crisis once it had "sorted out this global warming business and the current financial mess."
The Tech Herald wishes all its readers a very happy April 01.
They're hogging the pictures >< ^_^
Read Carefully.
The Obama administration's shadowy Special Crisis Operations (SCO) executive, Mr. C. Norris, told Washington reporters at a hastily-arranged news conference that his elite team was monitoring the situation closely and was ready to resolve any emerging crisis once it had "sorted out this global warming business and the current financial mess."
The Tech Herald wishes all its readers a very happy April 01.
They're hogging the pictures >< ^_^
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Lol, if they really created anything more than a micro black hole we would be gone already. But realistically, the only types of black holes that the HLC has any hopes of creating would evaporate almost before you could see them. Not that it is likely it will ever create even such tiny black holes.
Besides all of that, any black hole created by the HLC that doesn't dissolve instantly will have well more than the required escape velocity to escape the gravitational pull of earth. For objects that small, the escape velocity is something like only 10m/s, but particles in the HLC are moving at significant fractions of the speed of light. And even if you aimed the particles straight into the earth, a black hole that small would fall through earth without absorbing enough matter to slow it down. This is because it has such a tiny amount of mass that its event horizon would be nearly non existent - it would have to directly contact the nucleus of an atom in order to absorb it, which rarely happens in particle collisions.
In short, its just another April fools joke :roll:.
Besides all of that, any black hole created by the HLC that doesn't dissolve instantly will have well more than the required escape velocity to escape the gravitational pull of earth. For objects that small, the escape velocity is something like only 10m/s, but particles in the HLC are moving at significant fractions of the speed of light. And even if you aimed the particles straight into the earth, a black hole that small would fall through earth without absorbing enough matter to slow it down. This is because it has such a tiny amount of mass that its event horizon would be nearly non existent - it would have to directly contact the nucleus of an atom in order to absorb it, which rarely happens in particle collisions.
In short, its just another April fools joke :roll:.
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Guys, c'mon. We're all going to die once this black hole recieves enough mass to destroy us all. The earth as we know it may be destroyed because of this "scientific find".
</sarcasm>
Happy April Fool's day everybody. <3
</sarcasm>
Happy April Fool's day everybody. <3
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xxxholic18 wrote...
ooohh... black hole... garbage problem solved...Oh yes u r right.
Happy fools day!
...In a glass jar?...lol. :)
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StaticChange wrote...
Lol, if they really created anything more than a micro black hole we would be gone already. But realistically, the only types of black holes that the HLC has any hopes of creating would evaporate almost before you could see them. Not that it is likely it will ever create even such tiny black holes.Besides all of that, any black hole created by the HLC that doesn't dissolve instantly will have well more than the required escape velocity to escape the gravitational pull of earth. For objects that small, the escape velocity is something like only 10m/s, but particles in the HLC are moving at significant fractions of the speed of light. And even if you aimed the particles straight into the earth, a black hole that small would fall through earth without absorbing enough matter to slow it down. This is because it has such a tiny amount of mass that its event horizon would be nearly non existent - it would have to directly contact the nucleus of an atom in order to absorb it, which rarely happens in particle collisions.
In short, its just another April fools joke :roll:.
This is pretty much what I was going to say.
What an irritating "holiday"
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Dante1214 wrote...
StaticChange wrote...
Lol, if they really created anything more than a micro black hole we would be gone already. But realistically, the only types of black holes that the HLC has any hopes of creating would evaporate almost before you could see them. Not that it is likely it will ever create even such tiny black holes.Besides all of that, any black hole created by the HLC that doesn't dissolve instantly will have well more than the required escape velocity to escape the gravitational pull of earth. For objects that small, the escape velocity is something like only 10m/s, but particles in the HLC are moving at significant fractions of the speed of light. And even if you aimed the particles straight into the earth, a black hole that small would fall through earth without absorbing enough matter to slow it down. This is because it has such a tiny amount of mass that its event horizon would be nearly non existent - it would have to directly contact the nucleus of an atom in order to absorb it, which rarely happens in particle collisions.
In short, its just another April fools joke :roll:.
This is pretty much what I was going to say.
What an irritating "holiday"
Lol and I didn't understand 1/2 of what he said, other than that the HCL is only capable of producing black holes so small that they evaporate or that they will escape the earth.
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Maskedsatyr wrote...
Dante1214 wrote...
StaticChange wrote...
Lol, if they really created anything more than a micro black hole we would be gone already. But realistically, the only types of black holes that the HLC has any hopes of creating would evaporate almost before you could see them. Not that it is likely it will ever create even such tiny black holes.Besides all of that, any black hole created by the HLC that doesn't dissolve instantly will have well more than the required escape velocity to escape the gravitational pull of earth. For objects that small, the escape velocity is something like only 10m/s, but particles in the HLC are moving at significant fractions of the speed of light. And even if you aimed the particles straight into the earth, a black hole that small would fall through earth without absorbing enough matter to slow it down. This is because it has such a tiny amount of mass that its event horizon would be nearly non existent - it would have to directly contact the nucleus of an atom in order to absorb it, which rarely happens in particle collisions.
In short, its just another April fools joke :roll:.
This is pretty much what I was going to say.
What an irritating "holiday"
Lol and I didn't understand 1/2 of what he said, other than that the HCL is only capable of producing black holes so small that they evaporate or that they will escape the earth.
Seriously?
Makes clear sense if you actually bothered reading it.
Still, I'm still curious if the LHC can indeed produce Strangelets and kill us all. Wouldn't that be interesting...err...suck?
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TheDarkStarAlchemist
Requests Moderator
this isn't a joke. i heard about this months ago. and about the anti-matter, read angels & demons by dan brown
the anti-matter shit in there is dead accurate
the anti-matter shit in there is dead accurate
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TheDarkStarAlchemist wrote...
this isn't a joke. i heard about this months ago. and about the anti-matter, read angels & demons by dan brownthe anti-matter shit in there is dead accurate
It's true, just like how Jesus and Tupac made a rap record together that has been covered up for years by a network of secret societies.
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TheDarkStarAlchemist wrote...
this isn't a joke. i heard about this months ago. and about the anti-matter, read angels & demons by dan brownthe anti-matter shit in there is dead accurate
Even if it wasn't a joke, which is a joke in of itself really, who cares? There are some things it is sensible to worry about, but black holes and strangelets and antimatter? You couldn't do shit about it anyway.
It is my sincerest hope that if I ever reach the point of no return in life, I will have the sense to just face my fate. If they really did create a sustained black hole, it would create such a point of no return for all of us.
Its much more sensible to take none of these imagined armageddon scenarios seriously, because on the off chance that you are wrong, its not like everyone else will have a head start or something. We're all still going to die.
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StaticChange wrote...
Its much more sensible to take none of these imagined armageddon scenarios seriously, because on the off chance that you are wrong, its not like everyone else will have a head start or something. We're all still going to die.I agree, unless by that time we've colonized on other planets, we're all pretty much screwed like you said.
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Catcher wrote...
I agree, unless by that time we've colonized on other planets, we're all pretty much screwed like you said.
Even then, all it takes is something on a larger scale to screw us all, I believe.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16817_5-cosmic-events-that-could-kill-you-before-lunch.html