[Locked] Altering the course of ones' mind
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I have been in deep thought lately [nobody runs away this time] and I am conflicted. Before I move to my thoughts however, I want to say that I considered posting this in the writings section, but since this is not a piece of actual 'writing,' just mere thoughts ON writing, I posted it here.
Anyway, I have lately been choking my own work. I have been trying to alter what I write on purpose, instead of letting it flow. That hasn't [as I predicted] been going very smoothly, so I stopped writing. Here's whats' bothering me; I have been writing darker and darker things. I tired to alter what I write BECAUSE of that very fact. It is starting to scare me a little. Some of the writings [If you could call it that; I call it crap] I loaded [briefly] on Fakku were pieces that were on a certain track that I derailed. Everything I have been writing lately has been getting more and more melancholy and dreary, and I think it was changing me somewhat.
I began writing about A crazed man, incarcerated for horrible crimes he commited on a day that he simply snapped. In the dead of winter, he sat in his house, complete with fireplace, and broke all the windows in the room, alowing snow to blow in while he sat innocently at his desk after a series of gruesome crimes. I started writing about a man who, twisted by the cruel people around him, set up a 'circus' of death devices in the middle of a desolate desert, taking people that reminded hime of those former people and putting them through his death devices. I started writing about a man that built a house of mirrors, only to see himself changing within them. He started hearing the laughter of clowns, then slowly began smashing the mirrors with his bare hands; cutting himself allover and eventually becoming a demon that lived within the cursed mirror house he created. I started work on a crazed man that aspired to be a doctor, then took over a hospital one night, preforming surgeries on innocent people, removing organs and using them as experiments so that he could learn more about the human body. A story about a man that constantly had things said behind his back by a single man, and how he eventually killed that man viciously. A story about a man that found himself being chased by demons one night. Staying in the moonlight, the man was safe from harm, but the moonlight started running from him, and he gave chase for continued safetuy. He looses the chase, and is devoured by dark spirits of the night.
...Guys, in all seriousness, I never finished half of those stories because they disturbed me so. I don't purposely think of dark tales, yet these tales keep forming from within me. In a vain attempt to do something different, I wrote things that I didn't like, things I didn't think were very good, yet I posted them like I endorsed them. Stranger still, I might not like the dark light in which my other stories reside, but to me they are good pieces of writing. I am just stressed, and thought I would get this off my chest. What do you guys think? Should I stop writing alltogether? Or should I finish many tales that I have started, even though they all seem quite gothic? I am not a angry/sad person, and am often happy [especially when I have a new RPPG to play] but it would seem quite the opposite to those that would read my current works. Anyway, I just wanted to relay my current thoughts. I am full of thoughts afterall, and a man that doesn't release his thoughts every once in a while will often emplode under the pressure of his own process. [AT9]
Anyway, I have lately been choking my own work. I have been trying to alter what I write on purpose, instead of letting it flow. That hasn't [as I predicted] been going very smoothly, so I stopped writing. Here's whats' bothering me; I have been writing darker and darker things. I tired to alter what I write BECAUSE of that very fact. It is starting to scare me a little. Some of the writings [If you could call it that; I call it crap] I loaded [briefly] on Fakku were pieces that were on a certain track that I derailed. Everything I have been writing lately has been getting more and more melancholy and dreary, and I think it was changing me somewhat.
I began writing about A crazed man, incarcerated for horrible crimes he commited on a day that he simply snapped. In the dead of winter, he sat in his house, complete with fireplace, and broke all the windows in the room, alowing snow to blow in while he sat innocently at his desk after a series of gruesome crimes. I started writing about a man who, twisted by the cruel people around him, set up a 'circus' of death devices in the middle of a desolate desert, taking people that reminded hime of those former people and putting them through his death devices. I started writing about a man that built a house of mirrors, only to see himself changing within them. He started hearing the laughter of clowns, then slowly began smashing the mirrors with his bare hands; cutting himself allover and eventually becoming a demon that lived within the cursed mirror house he created. I started work on a crazed man that aspired to be a doctor, then took over a hospital one night, preforming surgeries on innocent people, removing organs and using them as experiments so that he could learn more about the human body. A story about a man that constantly had things said behind his back by a single man, and how he eventually killed that man viciously. A story about a man that found himself being chased by demons one night. Staying in the moonlight, the man was safe from harm, but the moonlight started running from him, and he gave chase for continued safetuy. He looses the chase, and is devoured by dark spirits of the night.
...Guys, in all seriousness, I never finished half of those stories because they disturbed me so. I don't purposely think of dark tales, yet these tales keep forming from within me. In a vain attempt to do something different, I wrote things that I didn't like, things I didn't think were very good, yet I posted them like I endorsed them. Stranger still, I might not like the dark light in which my other stories reside, but to me they are good pieces of writing. I am just stressed, and thought I would get this off my chest. What do you guys think? Should I stop writing alltogether? Or should I finish many tales that I have started, even though they all seem quite gothic? I am not a angry/sad person, and am often happy [especially when I have a new RPPG to play] but it would seem quite the opposite to those that would read my current works. Anyway, I just wanted to relay my current thoughts. I am full of thoughts afterall, and a man that doesn't release his thoughts every once in a while will often emplode under the pressure of his own process. [AT9]
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Just because something dark comes out in your writing, doesn't mean you are an evil or demented person. It could just be the darker part of your personality finding that outlet. If you think it's good writing, then write it. That very act could be therapeutic. If your darkest thoughts are out on paper, then you aren't holding them in your head. Thoughts shouldn't scare you, not until they get some motivation behind them at least. So write them out and see if it helps. And don't feel bad about it.
If you find yourself actually wanting to torture and kill people, you should probably seek professional help...for whatever good it will do you.
If you find yourself actually wanting to torture and kill people, you should probably seek professional help...for whatever good it will do you.
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@ Blind_Assasin-I wasn't aware I could do paragraphs on these threads; I attempted it a few times, and the indents disappeared when I clicked submit. I will try to alter my 'wall of text' into such a format.
@Dante-What you say makes sense. I think I'll take your advice. Oh, and you needn't worry about me wanting to do such things to others; I dislike fighting, let alone anything beyond. I'm not entirely sure if I could hurt someone, unless I had to do such to live. I'm too laid back for violence I guess.
@Dante-What you say makes sense. I think I'll take your advice. Oh, and you needn't worry about me wanting to do such things to others; I dislike fighting, let alone anything beyond. I'm not entirely sure if I could hurt someone, unless I had to do such to live. I'm too laid back for violence I guess.
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alexanderthenine wrote...
@ Blind_Assasin-I wasn't aware I could do paragraphs on these threads; I attempted it a few times, and the indents disappeared when I clicked submit. I will try to alter my 'wall of text' into such a format.@Dante-What you say makes sense. I think I'll take your advice. Oh, and you needn't worry about me wanting to do such things to others; I dislike fighting, let alone anything beyond. I'm not entirely sure if I could hurt someone, unless I had to do such to live. I'm too laid back for violence I guess.
That's probably a good thing. Which I wouldn't normally say, but violence honestly isn't the answer to the greater problems in life, it's just necessary now to keep the people who would be able to solve the greater problems of the world from getting killed or maimed.
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Using tab doesn't work on 90% of forums for some reason. There's no book spine for the words to get caught in though so indenting isn't so much the problem as opposed to simply pressing "enter" to keep paragraphs separate. Good on you for fixing it though.
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Tsujoi
Social Media Manager
Talk to a psychologists, not some random people on a hentai forum if it truly disturbs you.
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tsujoi wrote...
Talk to a psychologists, not some random people on a hentai forum if it truly disturbs you.Might be good advice.
But I think psychology is like hypnotism, it only works if you want it to.
Because I was forced into that shit several times, and it was mostly just annoying.
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I'm not truly horrified, just a little bothered. You can only make so many tales that are dark in nature before you ask yourself things like this. I also have no need for psychologists; everyone has problems and whos' to say who knows best? I wasn't attempting for a 'session' with random internet people; just curious as to the opinions of others. Hell, someone on here might have once been in the same situation before. Anyway, I suppose I'll let the gears of writing churn once more. Oh, and to clairify what I say earlier, I know I'm too laid back for violence, but that doesn't mean I don't believe in it in times such as these. Good conversation everyone. Fakku forums kick anul.