Dishonesty in society

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What do you think about of how much dishonesty and lying there is in society and how much people do it for their own benefit?

Have you done it or are you doing it? Did you say something on your job interview that wasn't true in order to get the job? Did you say something on your first date in order to impress the other party?

Do you think it is ok to lie for your own benefit even if it doesn't do any harm to others?


For myself, i gotta admit that i have lied to other people about certain things to either avoid certain consequences or to gain something. I doubt i have ever lied just for the sake of lying or because i would/did enjoy it. For example back in the day when i was still in school, few times i did lie about my test score results to my parents, just because i didn't wanna hear them yell at me for doing poorly on something. Even back then i knew i was a slacker at school and that it might effect my future, but i accepted that and just went on to enjoy school life and have fun at the expense of my test results. And obviously i didn't wanna tell or let my parents know that i am a lazy slacker who doesn't care much for school so that they would punish me for it.

Also few years back, couple of times i went to the doctor to complain about back pain so i would get few days off from work even though i didn't have any back pain what so ever. For some weird reason i felt pretty good knowing that i could "pull that off" and get a away with it.
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Coconutt wrote...
What do you think about of how much dishonesty and lying there is in society and how much people do it for their own benefit?

Have you done it or are you doing it? Did you say something on your job interview that wasn't true in order to get the job? Did you say something on your first date in order to impress the other party?

Do you think it is ok to lie for your own benefit even if it doesn't do any harm to others?


For myself, i gotta admit that i have lied to other people about certain things to either avoid certain consequences or to gain something. I doubt i have ever lied just for the sake of lying or because i would/did enjoy it. For example back in the day when i was still in school, few times i did lie about my test score results to my parents, just because i didn't wanna hear them yell at me for doing poorly on something. Even back then i knew i was a slacker at school and that it might effect my future, but i accepted that and just went on to enjoy school life and have fun at the expense of my test results. And obviously i didn't wanna tell or let my parents know that i am a lazy slacker who doesn't care much for school so that they would punish me for it.

Also few years back, couple of times i went to the doctor to complain about back pain so i would get few days off from work even though i didn't have any back pain what so ever. For some weird reason i felt pretty good knowing that i could "pull that off" and get a away with it.


I won't lie (Obvious pun made, moving on), I have lied quite a bit in my life.

I lie to protect myself and others if I know that telling the truth could be potentially a bad move. I never try to fabricate a lie that is too large for me to actually manage and maintain, since ultimately, I end up losing trust as a result. Lying excessively is never a good idea.

I have lied to get that extra day off from school every now and again and I have fabricated lies to get what I want (Manipulation 101 there). You could say I am partially addicted to lying and seeing the reactions of people to my lies. Not a habit I am proud of mind you. I've been making effort to stop. Succeeding so far.

My thoughts on Lying in society however? I believe it can be justifiable in some cases, especially to protect yourself and others, maintaining anonymity and the like.

As for lying for my benefit....Well, as long as no one is hurt, then I see no harm in it.
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The only acceptable lie is called mental abstinence.

It's when you have to lie because someone's life is in danger.

I've lied multiple times, OP.
For my own benefit, ofc. Though I wouldn't want to be lied to.

Guess that makes me a hypocrite, lol
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Coconutt wrote...
What do you think about of how much dishonesty and lying there is in society and how much people do it for their own benefit?

Have you done it or are you doing it? Did you say something on your job interview that wasn't true in order to get the job? Did you say something on your first date in order to impress the other party?

Do you think it is ok to lie for your own benefit even if it doesn't do any harm to others?


For myself, i gotta admit that i have lied to other people about certain things to either avoid certain consequences or to gain something. I doubt i have ever lied just for the sake of lying or because i would/did enjoy it. For example back in the day when i was still in school, few times i did lie about my test score results to my parents, just because i didn't wanna hear them yell at me for doing poorly on something. Even back then i knew i was a slacker at school and that it might effect my future, but i accepted that and just went on to enjoy school life and have fun at the expense of my test results. And obviously i didn't wanna tell or let my parents know that i am a lazy slacker who doesn't care much for school so that they would punish me for it.

Also few years back, couple of times i went to the doctor to complain about back pain so i would get few days off from work even though i didn't have any back pain what so ever. For some weird reason i felt pretty good knowing that i could "pull that off" and get a away with it.


For my self, i try to not to ever lie for any reason and i also avoid creating releationships or get involved with interactions where i may need to defer to someone and lie.

I think its true. that society can reward sneaky behavior in the short term.
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kengenerals wrote...
The only acceptable lie is called mental abstinence.

It's when you have to lie because someone's life is in danger.


Never heard that word before, "mental abstinence", sounds weird...
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Obviously the dishonesty is frequenly on society it start when u say hi to a dude that u dont like, or do something that you dont want just to fit in your society anbient, example:

When i was with like 12 years old, i used to watch football games but i dont like it, i was just watching to fit into my friends anbient (if youre a brazilian 12 years old child you most likely will like football).

Got it? thats the problem, i was lying to myself. i was being dishonest with myself doing something that i dont like (and being dishonest with my friends too)
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Soumabatata wrote...
Obviously the dishonesty is frequently on society it start when u say hi to a dude that u don't like, or do something that you don't want just to fit in your society ambient, example:

When i was with like 12 years old, i used to watch football games but i don't like it, i was just watching to fit into my friends ambient (if you're a Brazilian 12 years old child you most likely will like football).

Got it? that's the problem, i was lying to myself. i was being dishonest with myself doing something that i don't like (and being dishonest with my friends too)


Yeah, that is pretty common for people to essentially lie to themselves about who they are and what they like just so they fit better into the group. I did this myself too back in high school. I would say i didn't give in that much, but there were things i thought were just plain stupid, but i did them anyway because i wanted to feel part of the group.

Of coarse this happens more in peoples school years as to when you are older i would assume, but it still happens. I would say in the work place (depends what kind of work you do obviously) people tend to be more of themselves than when they were younger. There less and less things you are willing to compromise in order to feel like part of the group if any. Older people much rather just be alone than be part of what they deem as group full of idiots with stupid ideas, i would assume.
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It's quite sad in the colligate world. My school had a cheating team that was full of freshman. They tried to get every smart person to help them, but it feels good to try with honest effort vs. cheating anyhow. I hate cheaters anyhow. I wouldn't want a cheater being my doctor or an engineer building the bridges I drive to school everyday.
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Misaki_Chi Fakku Nurse
Coconutt wrote...
What do you think about of how much dishonesty and lying there is in society and how much people do it for their own benefit?


I don't like it, but it's part of human nature. I can bitch about how much I dislike it, but since I know I have lied for personal selfish reasons. The saying, "pot calling the kettle black" comes to mind.

Coconutt wrote...
Have you done it or are you doing it? Did you say something on your job interview that wasn't true in order to get the job? Did you say something on your first date in order to impress the other party?


I'm not one to lie at job interviews or to impress people, honesty with me works well enough in such situations. The times I do tell lies are when I am worried that I will get in trouble (aka lie to my parents or to teachers back when I was in college). I never made it a big lie and it was never for any serious reason, usually I was afraid of how the truth would be taken so I used a "white lie" to get out of things quickly. Other times I am prone to lying is when I want to get out of going to an event. I use to have some pretty dramatic friends irl and some things that were planned I would have a bad feeling on. For instance a friend of mine wanted to go clubbing. I thought it was a great idea, but then I put two and two together and all she wanted to do was go run into her ex and either bitch him out or get back together with him. I lied and said I had an emergency come up and that I couldn't go out. The next day I found out that the night ended up how I thought it would and the cops got involved. She even mentioned to me how it was good that something came up so I wasn't apart of the mess.

Do you think it is ok to lie for your own benefit even if it doesn't do any harm to others?


As I said above, it's in our nature to lie, but I don't think it's wise to make it a habit. Any lie you tell can affect the level of trust you have with a person, so if the lie falls through or someone can tell you are lying, you have to deal with the consequences of said lie.

I really suck at lying so I just stick to telling the truth when I can. It's easier for me to deal with the consequences of the truth vs the consequences of a lie, because at least I was being myself with the truth.

The only lies I can really accept are those where you lie and surprise a person for some special occasion or event. I lied and told my bf that the cake shop in our area closed (kinda true since it did close, but they opened up in a new location). Surprised my bf with an awesome cake.

Another thing that is better then lying is learning to just keep your mouth shut. This can be hard to do since a lot of us can be opinionated, but if you learn how to do it wisely then you don't have to worry about lying or the truth. Also learning how to develop thicker skin and letting things go are good qualities to have as well. Can allow you to be the bigger person of a situation.... still learning how to do this last part myself lol.
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DatYuriThough Goddess of Nature
I hate lying, I see it as a childish thing to do (unless it's to protect someone, but then again I think it would be better to tell them the truth and hurt them a little in the short-term then having them find out in the future and come to resent you more for lying to them) but it's a part of human nature at the end of the day. It won't ever stop really so it's best to just try and treat it like any other annoyance.

I used to lie a lot in order to protect myself, I was one of the people in the 'Popular' group of people at my school and I lied about myself so they wouldn't talk behind my back or spread rumours (they did so anyway). I felt bad about doing it since I'm a very honest person, I don't hold back my opinions and I try and always tell the truth.

I don't think it's bad to lie for your own benefit if it doesn't hurt anyone, but neither do I think it's good. Lies catch up with you no matter what usually and can come to bite you in the ass. Especially if it was something medical, I would withhold my bad health from my parents a lot and almost died as a result. It wasn't hurting people to not know about my health and it benefited me since I didn't have to deal with realisation I was pretty sick. But it came back to haunt me.

So to me, lying isn't a good thing to do, I dislike that it's a part of society but there's nothing you can really do about it.
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Lying, deceiving people, and getting away with it used to amuse me, I used to see myself as a clever, sneaky plotter who was so much smarter than everyone else.

(Having said that, even then I never did it on anything that really mattered.)

Those days are over, I'm much more mature by now. I value honesty highly, both as a virtue and because when lies become involved, people start making decisions based on false and/or misleading information, which can lead to sub-optimal results and losses all around. I believe that it's best to make a decision with the true information, and let others do the same. Even if your decision goes against what someone else (would) want(s)... tell them, in no uncertain terms, so they can plan around it.

E.g. if you tell someone they look good when they don't, they feel good temporarily, you avoid the discomfort... then they go around looking worse than they could. Short-term gain, long-term loss.

Also, as someone else mentioned (I skim-read the other posts), lying to yourself. Always a bad move, cause then you do the wrong things for the wrong reasons, and might end up not satisfying your true desires, or wasting time and/or resources, or wondering why you're still not satisfied, or hurting yourself and/or others.