Liking people vs being liked

I think I have a better understanding of what you mean now.

So my opinion stays the same, in regards to "liking another > being liked", towards "liking someone in a respectful manner".

You should also remember, people have different values for "respect". Such as, some people find, a respectful action to be, killing everyone who messes with you or your group, to which, I can't find respectful in the least. The way I see it, to define it to "liking (presence enjoyed) in a respectful manner" and "being liked (enjoyed) in a respective manner" leans the question even more into a subjective realm.

If your saying, that respect is in regards to personal view of the "post"er, it still falls under the same level of subjectivity.

(And since you cleared up my misunderstanding, I voted.)



I don't view them as the same, but that they come together. When you like something, you want to experience more of it. When it comes to a person, you want to be involved more in their affairs, but this requires them to be willing to share these affairs. Some level of compatibility in the form of "like" and/or "trust" is needed, which can often go together too. Some level of this is desired from those people seek companionship from.



People you like, both casually and romantically are subject to development of a person, such as, women often marry there father (or father figures). Commonly, women seek out men who remind them of their father (or figures).

This is different from physical attraction, something far more complicated. Which I believe involves a certain level of acceptability and willingness too. For instance, no matter how much I try, I can't find the male figure attractive, at all. I only find the female figure attractive. But through some influences in my childhood, hentai, and a open mind, I can find transgenders quite attractive. If I don't divide between male and female, but figures closes to my ideal sexual orientation, things get really muddy.

I personally need to do some research into this, but most of the articles regarding this subject are too obscured in bias, for me to get anything more than an opinion out of.

I think that argument is the same for what a guy looks for in a girl, or vice versa

that is just a label - there are a bunch of different types of homosexuals, just because you might be genetically prone to like the same sex, doesn't mean you'll like all of them ;p

applying this to non-sexual traits, to be clear - Is who you like a choice? = do you decide who you like, or is there something controlling what you like (not who, what, because it's characteristics you like, and it happens to be found in that person imo)
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Science hasn't gone far enough to answer that (that I know of at least XD) unless you want to be philosophical about consciousness. I would like to think that we make some of our own decisions, and that we are not just reacting to how we experience our environment (settle for it's a mixture of genetic/environmental/psychological/ other stuff?)

the tl;dr = we still have a choice because imo it makes life easier to think so. People's bodies release dopamine for different reasons. Why it's released can't always be explained in a laboratory.



"try to like" lol the struggle is real

I find it hard to like other people, and by hard i mean one would have an easier time eating a stack of bricks (sans milk) then getting in my good books, even if i am nice to the person in question on the surface. I myself am often not very liked (at least thats what i think), but i am quite often respected.

About biochemistry of the brain and the emotions, it's more complex than just releasing dopamine, serotonin, etc..

First of all, the catecholamines are involved in stress pathways.
Second, catecholamines are also involved in the reward/reinforcement system. That last system is a part of the mechanisms supporting the emotions we feel about either events or memories.

When we have pleasure to interact with a person or during some events, high levels of serotonin and dopamin are released within our brain. But when we lose such person or live uncomfortable/unpleasant events, the releases are partly blocked -- which cause need/miss sensation, i.e. it's involved in affliction and sorrow emotions or negative reinforcements. Adrenalin may also participate in fear mechanisms at the same time or around the same time.

Pragmaticaly, it's hard to define if we observe an emotion or a reinforcement at a chemical level. Emotions and reinforcements do not have the same value in psychology, which may/might impact the behaviour. As for example, a cocaine addict mouse will do all its might to get a cocain dose even though negative reinforcements such as electric schocks. Some laboratory experiments have turn normal polygam species of hamsters to monogam just by genetic modifications via a viral vector. At the present moment, emotions still remain quite greatly unexplained, but the medical research progresses here and there on various mechanisms -- biological, psychological, etc..


On a philosophical aspect/level, liking or respecting people may proceed from either the will or the instinct. Will is the active way while instinct is the passive way.

I find this statement very hard to believe.

OT: I guess harder to like people. It's not difficult to be a decent person and garner respect, but there are many arrogant and douchey people out there to dislike.

Then what about a "monster" ? Like very ugly people or having any sort of disability, et caetera.

Would it be for them more easy/difficult to like or more easy/difficult to be liked ? I don't mean to get pity but more worthy feelings.

That's because it's sarcasm.