The Faded Words

THE NEW ONE

This is what I was,
Diary of a foolish cause.
Fighting for nothing , I pause.
This was my because.

To make people happy , I fade.
Hiding under empty words , I wade.
Understanding everything that I laid.
My actions will be made.

I live only for myself.
Failing shamelessly to the left.
The trap accepted when I needed help.
By those who lives only for my death.

To me, unfortunately, it doesn't exude whatever depressing or any types of feelings you may be wanting your readers to feel. I don't feel almost anything from this, sorry.

Perhaps my mind is just too blank today and it may as well just be me.

I do have happy poems to use. Maybe some happier and cheerful.

It's a little depressing but quite cool nonetheless. I would have voted it was cool but it might be because I'm cheerful now so I don't feel like reading sappy stories now. I did think that you have talent. Keep up the good work and hope to see more from you.

I don't mind depressing poems since I read a lot of Emily Dickinson's writing and keep up the good work.

Most of my poems has no point. After all , life doesnt have a point to it if you think about broken dreams and other random BS. The poem was a reflection of life and the demands of it by other people that think you can fly to the stars.

Pills

The red,
The blue,
The black.

So many pills,
So little time,
Of all the things I lack.

The green,
The pink,
The brown.

Running for the bathroom,
The bedroom.
Another town.

I always loved dark, depressing style in a poetry, so I'll say this one's cool.

This new one feels like a drug addict poem. Although, it could just mean that a guy is so sick he has to take a lot of different medication.

Like your rhyming anyway. (^_^)b.

But seriously, don't you have any cheerful poems? This one might not be "depressing" (could be funny if it meant that the guy had to go to toilet for constipation) but it's not exactly "cheerful" as well. I want something that would make me laugh. Got any comedy?

Yes I do have funny poem in my collection. I will look today at them all. If not , I can create a funny poem in about 30 mins < it used to take my 2 hours to do so > I can also create custom poems about any topic for < ++ REP points , of course >

< - - >

Super X

I wake up,
Cleaning dishes.
Trash removed,
Watching babies,
Shut up.

For I am,
Super X ,
I do everything,
That has no life.
I can't remember,
When I had sex.

I live,
Only to sleep.
My dreams are what I catch.
For I am,
Super X.

I don't feel much flow here, sorry.

I may not be an expert with poems. But it feels as though you just write them up on a whim and spend only a few moments in writing them.

This is just my opinion, but I have to agree with Rise. It seems like these poems you're writing are only taking a couple minutes at most, and aren't given much thought. There are no emotions portrayed in these poems, which marks a good poem, and there is no flow. All poetry must have flow, even though it doesn't have to rhyme, or follow a certain style. Without these... it just feels like you're just typing down a few sentences with no relative meaning at all.

Opps , my poems a very long time ago was as long as a book chapter page with no kind of meaning.
Emotional poems are my weakness , its a reflection of myself. Hmm , I could spend more time with them and make them emotional but I dont know what type of emotions I should use.

Opps , my poems a very long time ago was as long as a book chapter page with no kind of meaning.
Emotional poems are my weakness , its a reflection of myself. Hmm , I could spend more time with them and make them emotional but I dont know what type of emotions I should use.

Use the emotions that you feel when you write. Your current emotions when you write, to be more specific, that's how it usually is when a writer writes.

Or is it that you're an emotionless person?