[Winter Writing Contest 2022] Dreameater

2
Here’s a story I cranked out in a few hours. This has been a scenario that has been on my mind for a while, but with how busy I’ve been and how little time I had before the deadline, I just kind of rushed it. In other words, I wish I refined the idea more! My laptop is also dead, which means I wrote this on my phone since my work laptop is assigned to me by my work district and is constantly monitored and checked. The last thing they need to see is any trace to the websites I visit on my personal laptop… haha. With that in mind, expect a lot of spelling and grammatical errors! I tried my best to minimize them, but they will undoubtedly be present.

Finally, I say it jokingly every time I make a submission, but go easy on me!

Spoiler:
A drop of water on his nose caused the man to scrunch his face. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the moon. Soon after, the moon became blurry as dew covered steel bars resolved into his view. He realized he was laying on his back before he craned his head to the right. Once again, there were bars. With a groan, he sat himself up to ascertain the situation.

There was no doubt that he was in a cage. The next thing he noticed was that he had no clothes. He was not sure of what made him black out, but he was definitively sure that he had clothes before he was put in the cage. “Damn…” he said as he scrambled about. In the short time that passed, he learned that his cage was tall enough for him to sit, but not to stand. It was long enough for him to lay straight, but gave little room to roll on either side. In front of him was the edge of a cliff and behind him was the edge of a forest. Beneath him was a combination of grass and a white powdery substance. Most of it was scattered atop the grass, but some of it clung to the cage like a thin layer of powder on skin. The sight of it made the man sigh and shake his head as he examined some of the substance that was now on his body. It made him wish he noticed it sooner so that none of it got on him.

By the time he focused his attention elsewhere, what the man found most interesting was what was on his left just a few feet away. Another cage sat closely to his with a prisoner of its own. Inside it was a woman who, much like him, was naked. Unlike him however, she was still knocked out cold. A closer look at her features showed that she looked about as old as him. “At least I’ll have one person to talk to,” he said as he resigned himself against the side of his cage that faced the woods. As he leaned back, he stared at the sky and sighed. To help him pass the time, he decided to count the stars.

Time passed at a pace that seemed both fast and slow. The man noticed that the moon had now reached its peak and was beginning to descend. He also realized that he had counted close to a thousand stars. It made him roll his eyes as he thought about the fate that awaited him. It was bad enough that he was going to die in this cage, but it was even worse knowing that it would be such a slow and mundane process to reach that death. All the man had left was the hope that the woman would wake up so that he could have someone to entertain him in his final moments.

It was a fortunate thing that not long after his thoughts, he heard a groan. The man whipped his head to notice the woman come to. She followed many of his motions from when he woke up before finally realizing where she was. While he had taken the situation very calmly, the woman beside him started to panic as he saw the reality of her situation sink into her mind.

“What…? What? What?! No, no, no… This can’t be right… This can’t be right!!!” said the woman.

“How do you think I feel?” said the man with a chuckle.

“Why am I here? What happened? This can’t be right!” said the woman.

“Denying it won’t change the situation. What’s your name? I’m Traum,” said the man.

“Do you think I care about your name?! I’m stuck in a cage! I need to get out of here!” said the woman before she grabbed the bars. With all the strength she could muster, she pulled them desperately.

“Judging by your actions, I guess that means I’m older than you,” said Traum. “Here I was hoping to have a meaningful conversation with someone my age. Instead, I get to spend my last moment with a dumb kid…”

“I don’t care how old you are and I don’t care if you think I’m some dumb kid! All I care about is getting out of here!” said the woman as she continued to pull.

“You young fool… I’ve been around long enough to tell you that you can’t pry those bars open. Take a closer look,” said Traum.

“Huh?” said the woman. She squinted and looked at the bars more carefully before her eyes suddenly widened. “They’re enchanted!”

“That’s right. Only young novices would be oblivious to not notice such an obvious enchantment. Did you honestly think they would leave us in regular cages?” said Traum as he leaned against his cage once more. “So now that I’ve gotten you to realize that there’s no escape, why don’t you relax a bit and tell me your name.”

“My name? My damn name?! We are stuck in what might as well be our coffins and you want to know my name?! How are you so calm?! You and I are going to die!” said the woman.

“We all run out of time eventually. People like us all meet our ends one day. This particular situation just happens to be our end,” said Traum. “I’ve lived a long and fulfilling life. I’m ready for what’s to come next.”

“People like us? We are not the same! I am nothing like you! For one, I am not ready to die!” said the woman.

“You can deny it, but you and I are the same. But, I know you won’t believe me, so I’m just going to let you struggle until you accept your situation. I’ll be here to talk when you’re ready,” said Traum. After a quick stretch, he looked at the view provided by the cliff edge. The forest below was so tranquil and calm that it helped drown out all the racket being caused by his new companion. Unsure of what to do, he decided to try and sleep. He had never tried to sleep during the night, but with nothing left to do, he thought now would be the best time to try. It took a good half hour, but eventually, Traum fell asleep.

When he opened his eyes again, Traum noticed that the moon had shifted once more. He looked to his left and saw that the woman was prostrating and clearly crying. “This isn’t fair… this isn’t fair… I’m nothing like him… why am I getting punished when I’m nothing like him…?” she mumbled continuously.

It seemed during the time he was asleep, she might have given up on escaping and given in to despair. He was unsure how to comfort her, especially with how she kept talking about him under her breath, but he was compelled to try. At the end of it all, Traum still felt a sense of guilt when it came to leaving a child in such a miserable state of mind. “Hey, want to share your name now?” said Traum.

“Somna,” said the woman.

“That’s a nice name. Nice to meet you, Somna,” said Traum.

“Nice to meet you too,” said Somna.

“Do you remember how you got here?” said Traum.

“I was eating. Then, I think a group of soldiers caught me, and everything went black,” said Somna.

“I was eating, too. It seems people are wising up to when we’re most vulnerable. I don’t recall what happened or how I was captured, though,” said Traum.

“What I normally eat isn’t particularly tasty, so I’m often more aware,” said Somna. “See? I told you you and I are nothing alike.”

“I guess you’re right there. I get lost in delirium when I eat,” said Traum.

“That’s because you’re a monster,” said Somna. “You eat dreams indiscriminately and lose track of your surroundings! No wonder they captured you so easily! For someone who has supposedly been around for a long time, you sure make stupid decisions!”

“Are you saying you don’t? Because if that were the case, then you wouldn’t be in that cage,” said Traum. “I suppose you think only eating nightmares makes you a good person, huh? That you’re doing the world a favor by leaving people with just happy dreams? Well, guess what? People don’t care whether you think you’re good, they will always think you’re a monster! Why waste your life eating lackluster nightmares when you can indulge yourself in wondrous dreams?”

“Because we have no right to take the happiness of others! Dreams allow people to aspire towards greater things! It can give them hope and so much more when they need it most! Take away their dreams and they become soulless husks with no aspirations! What right do we have to take what is there’s for our own selfish contentment?” said Somna.

“So for the sake of others, I should only eat nightmares that leave me half starved? I’m supposed to live a subpar existence so that people can continue there’s to the fullest? How is that fair?” said Traum.

“It’s not about what’s fair! It’s because of eaters like you that our kind suffer! If we have the ability to not act like monsters we should do so! Maybe if more of our kind acted like me, we wouldn’t be hunted down with extreme prejudice!” said Somna.

“You young ones and your damn delusions… People find it equally suspicious when they never have nightmares,” said Traum with a sigh. He shook his head and regretted even speaking. “Regardless of what we do, we will eventually cause suspicion. Your intentions mean nothing to a mob of suspicious and fearful people. There is no world where Dreameaters and Humans can coexist.”

“Not with eaters like you around,” said Somna.

“Why you hopeless…” said Traum before he stopped himself as he watched Somna lay down and face away from him. He sighed before deciding that it was best for him to stay quiet. After all, yelling at someone before his death was not really what he had in mind. Instead, he allowed the silence to take control of the situation and continued to enjoy the view. Rather than focusing on the forest in front him, Traum decided to focus on the horizon. He watched as the moon slowly got closer to it.

Dawn began to give way to daybreak, and Traum finally decided to speak again. He thought the least he could do was leave the world with a little less frustration in his heart. Though the thought pained him, he decided he would leave the world without grudges towards others and vice versa. “I’m sorry about what I said,” he finally spoke.

“What?” said Somna as she turned to face him.

“We shouldn’t be spending our final moments arguing. Hostility doesn’t seem like a good thing to bring to wherever we go after,” said Traum. “Besides, after a little bit of thought, I think you were right that it’s eaters like me that give us a bad reputation. If I was less excessive when I ate, I wouldn’t have been caught and I wouldn’t have helped perpetuate the beliefs people have of our kind.”

“It’s alright,” said Somna. “There’s truth in your words. Even if the number of eaters like me ended up outnumbering the eaters like you, the negative reputation our kind has garnered over history wouldn’t go away so easily. Humans will always fear what’s different. The problems aren’t so easily solved.”

“I guess in the end, we were both right and wrong,” said Traum.

“Yeah,” said Somna. “But at least we finally had one decent conversation.”

“That’s a good memory to have before I leave this world,” said Traum as he watched the first rays of sunlight start to shine through the horizon.

“Funny, but I always thought it would hurt,” said Somna.

Traum looked to his left to see that his companion’s skin was already cracking. With the little sunlight that was present, he watched as Somna’s body began to crumble to dust. Even so, she had a content look on her face as she accepted her fate. Without a word, Traum faced the sun head on. Unlike Somna, he had eaten enough dreams that his body did not collapse with the amount of sunlight present. By the time Somna was nothing more than a pile of ash, enough sunlight had finally breached the horizon that Traum could see his hands begin to crack. Just as Somna said, there was no pain. It brought him a sense of relief as he leaned back against his cage for the last time.
1
Xenon FAKKU Writer
Interesting premise to set up the story. Upon initial reading, it seems like an odd situation where someone is unbelievably accepting of their captured state, but as the story unfolds and properties of the world are stated, such as the dream eater habits and the enchanted bars, it becomes more clear that there is something about this world that is separate from your typical setting on Earth.

I like the setting and I like the hints you put in, such as their names that give call backs towards the concept of sleep and dreams. I think the dialogue progresses quickly, and Traum's lines stating his perspective on the situation is almost unrealistic. It's like he has little concept of self-preservation. I don't think he is easily defeated, as he never expresses the feeling of defeat in his situation. Merely he accepts his doomed situation with a stoic sense of finality. This helped us see him as a foil to Somna's character. It creates a snippet of a story, but I don't feel a sense of satisfaction. I merely peered through the window of this world. I would like to have read more, but it was interesting for what it was. Great entry as usual, crazr.

Here are a couple glaring issues that I wanted to call your attention towards:

crazr wrote...
“So for the sake of others, I should only eat nightmares that leave me half starved? I’m supposed to live a subpar existence so that people can continue there’s to the fullest? How is that fair?” said Somna.


crazr wrote...
“Besides, after a little bit of thought, I think you were right that it’s eaters like me that give us a bad reputation. If I was less excessive when I ate, I wouldn’t have been caught and I wouldn’t have helped perpetuate the the beliefs people have of our kind.”
2
Xenon wrote...
Interesting premise to set up the story. Upon initial reading, it seems like an odd situation where someone is unbelievably accepting of their captured state, but as the story unfolds and properties of the world are stated, such as the dream eater habits and the enchanted bars, it becomes more clear that there is something about this world that is separate from your typical setting on Earth.

I like the setting and I like the hints you put in, such as their names that give call backs towards the concept of sleep and dreams. I think the dialogue progresses quickly, and Traum's lines stating his perspective on the situation is almost unrealistic. It's like he has little concept of self-preservation. I don't think he is easily defeated, as he never expresses the feeling of defeat in his situation. Merely he accepts his doomed situation with a stoic sense of finality. This helped us see him as a foil to Somna's character. It creates a snippet of a story, but I don't feel a sense of satisfaction. I merely peered through the window of this world. I would like to have read more, but it was interesting for what it was. Great entry as usual, crazr.


Thanks for the read. I’ve been really busy, so I haven’t gotten a chance to read anyone else’s entry yet, but I plan to! On the bright side, I finally got a new laptop so I should be done with using my phone to write stories. Honestly, it was a miracle I was even able to crank this one out. With how many last minute submissions there were though, I guess I should have taken more time to make this story better. Regardless, thanks again for reading it!

Xenon wrote...
Here are a couple glaring issues that I wanted to call your attention towards:

crazr wrote...
“So for the sake of others, I should only eat nightmares that leave me half starved? I’m supposed to live a subpar existence so that people can continue there’s to the fullest? How is that fair?” said Somna.


crazr wrote...
“Besides, after a little bit of thought, I think you were right that it’s eaters like me that give us a bad reputation. If I was less excessive when I ate, I wouldn’t have been caught and I wouldn’t have helped perpetuate the the beliefs people have of our kind.”


These glaring issues have been fixed!
2
I like the concept, I'm fine with the characters, but I do wonder if maybe the story holds its cards a bit too close to its chest for a bit too long. I think I would have personally liked it more if we knew more about who the characters are earlier. Good story for the most part though.
1
Xenon FAKKU Writer
crazr wrote...
On the bright side, I finally got a new laptop so I should be done with using my phone to write stories. Honestly, it was a miracle I was even able to crank this one out.


Honestly, considering it was all written on your phone, that is actually quite impressive. I don't think I could stand doing that, myself.
2
xninebreaker FAKKU Writer
If you wrote the entire thing on phone, that's actually insane.

Anyways, I enjoyed it, but it leaves me a bit wanting. I kind of wish one of them ate the dreams of the other or something. I'm kind of interested in how it's consumed and how it feels and what these Dreameaters take. Like do they experience the dreams too? Or is it just taste, like nightmares are overcooked steaks?

Fun read nonetheless though
2
Felt really captivated once the concepts of this setting slowly unfolded. Was interesting to put these characters up and have them as challenges to each others belief, debate felt like a very common issue of ethics, but explored in this new setting the lines felt more blurred and interesting. I suppose the characters could come to meet in the middle, as there was no clear right answer. It kind of left me thinking what the point of this serious of event really was. I generally like it when a piece manages to make me wonder and think afterwards to process it. Also decent tone and imagery for the environment. Good job!
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d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
I like the concept, I'm fine with the characters, but I do wonder if maybe the story holds its cards a bit too close to its chest for a bit too long. I think I would have personally liked it more if we knew more about who the characters are earlier. Good story for the most part though.


Thanks, d! Yeah, I rushed this out and I wish I didn’t. When I saw all the super last minute submissions, it made me realize I could have put so much more work into this one since I still had a handful of days left! Anyway, I’ll be sure to read yours and leave a review soon!

xninebreaker wrote...
If you wrote the entire thing on phone, that's actually insane.

Anyways, I enjoyed it, but it leaves me a bit wanting. I kind of wish one of them ate the dreams of the other or something. I'm kind of interested in how it's consumed and how it feels and what these Dreameaters take. Like do they experience the dreams too? Or is it just taste, like nightmares are overcooked steaks?

Fun read nonetheless though


I never did specify exactly how it works and this nebulous idea was something I really wanted to flesh out. I didn’t think I’d have enough time to do it, and I was also afraid that if I did, it would just be a long boring exposition dump. Thanks for reading my work, Nine. I’ll be sure to read yours, and if you’re interested, be on the lookout for a possible resubmission of mine I might put on here!

ZubaruMidori wrote...
Felt really captivated once the concepts of this setting slowly unfolded. Was interesting to put these characters up and have them as challenges to each others belief, debate felt like a very common issue of ethics, but explored in this new setting the lines felt more blurred and interesting. I suppose the characters could come to meet in the middle, as there was no clear right answer. It kind of left me thinking what the point of this serious of event really was. I generally like it when a piece manages to make me wonder and think afterwards to process it. Also decent tone and imagery for the environment. Good job!


Thanks for taking the time to leave a review! I don’t know if Xenon ever got a chance to inform you, but your comment for one of my submissions several years back inspired me to write a sequel to said submission. You found the ending sad, so I made a follow up! If you haven’t read it and wanted to see the conclusion, it’s only a few pages into the forum!

Plug aside, I’ll be sure to leave a review once I read yours.
2
crazr wrote...

Thanks for taking the time to leave a review! I don’t know if Xenon ever got a chance to inform you, but your comment for one of my submissions several years back inspired me to write a sequel to said submission. You found the ending sad, so I made a follow up! If you haven’t read it and wanted to see the conclusion, it’s only a few pages into the forum!

Plug aside, I’ll be sure to leave a review once I read yours.


Yeah, I remember that! ^_^
I never got around to reading it, but I was thinking I'd give it a read after this contest and post a response :3