wouldn't it be awesome if the actual to-love-ru mangaka was actually reading these doujins to get really erotic ideas for storylines?
hentai doujins would actually be IMPROVING the original manga!
really? hahah, you have some pretty high standards for these doujin plotlines, then.
i'd give this plot a 9, pretty much cuz it adheres to the actual series quite well and the actions don't seem outrageous for their characters. but to each his own, i guess.
it's kind of awesome how close it is to this. except, you know, no sex.
Art:8 of 10
Plot:7 of 10