A Girl's Prayer
1
I'm bored.
Lord,
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One whose willy's thick and long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
When promises to call he won't wait weeks;
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed;
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say when I ask, "How big's my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin,
In the hall, the bathroom, the garden, the kitchen.
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempt to shag my best friend
And as I kneel down and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead...
Lord,
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One whose willy's thick and long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
When promises to call he won't wait weeks;
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed;
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say when I ask, "How big's my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin,
In the hall, the bathroom, the garden, the kitchen.
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempt to shag my best friend
And as I kneel down and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead...
0
animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
And Leah said to her:Jacob is mine, for I am his wife of his youth. Issachar 1;7 Gnostic bible.
0
Still bored.
Signs that your dentist loves to inflict pain:
He says afterwards, "We usually sedate people for that."
His drill is by Black and Decker
The dentist's chair is located in a soundproof room
The hygienist wears skintight leather and carries a whip
Rather than take X-rays, he takes core samples.
While you scream, he giggles.
Just before you go under, you see him take out a stun gun
The windows are blacked out.
He advises you to gargle with Coke.
The dentist's chair has restraining straps.
There are blood spots on the ceiling
You have to sign a form in advance promising not to press charges.
Signs that your dentist loves to inflict pain:
He says afterwards, "We usually sedate people for that."
His drill is by Black and Decker
The dentist's chair is located in a soundproof room
The hygienist wears skintight leather and carries a whip
Rather than take X-rays, he takes core samples.
While you scream, he giggles.
Just before you go under, you see him take out a stun gun
The windows are blacked out.
He advises you to gargle with Coke.
The dentist's chair has restraining straps.
There are blood spots on the ceiling
You have to sign a form in advance promising not to press charges.
0
animefreak_usa wrote...
Why are you making me get wood?Because I can.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? - Call her and tell her.
0
That reminds me that my pals and I were talking religion, and from that we re-wrote The Lord's Prayer t be more accurate i.e. Priests and pedophilia.
Our Father, who's hard for children
Young boys be thy slaves
Thy manhood cum
Within our bum
Unless they be older than seven.
Give us this day our daily head
I forget the rest.
Our Father, who's hard for children
Young boys be thy slaves
Thy manhood cum
Within our bum
Unless they be older than seven.
Give us this day our daily head
I forget the rest.
4
Odamust wrote...
This thread makes me moist. Do more.Letter of Complaint to the Management
Spoiler:
The Reply
Spoiler:
0
thank you
you just gave me an idea of what kind of a nonexistent leading man I should write in my novel
the more unbelievable the better
you just gave me an idea of what kind of a nonexistent leading man I should write in my novel
the more unbelievable the better
