Manliness Test

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking ***
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your view about what you expect from a sexual relationship ***
B. Your blood test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously ***
C. You don't miss the big game on TV.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play ***
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend ever needs to find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience. ***
C. $100 extra.

6.Your girlfriend says she's gained 5 pounds within the last month. You tell her that is:
A. No great concern of yours
B. Not a problem--she can join a gym ***
C. A conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A moron
D. Left in the dark where the ladies put them at.

8.Foreplay is to sex as:
A. Appetizer is to entrée
B. Primer is to paint
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride ***

9.You feel a gas attack coming on. Do you:
A. Hold it in with clenched buttocks
B. Reluctantly let it go, and mutter an apology
C. Let it rip and race around the room giving hi-fives ***

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy ***
B. Probably is too uptight and a waste of your time
C. Probably shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Answers