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Feeling lost in the distance.
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I never thought I would ever post on FAKKU! of all places about a problem in my life and yet here I am. I just need some advice and at the very least an opinion on all of this. I apologise for the long story.
A few months back a good friend of mine told me a close guy friend of mine (lets call him James) admitted to her he likes me. Now please keep this under circumstance that I had gotten into an accident a two weeks before the end of the term unexpectedly, and had already been moved by the time I had gotten out of the hospital, as well as had transferred schools. Basically speaking he had missed his chance unexpectedly. When my friend revealed his true feelings I was in complete shock, as he is two and a half years older than me, and a talented musician who is a rather popular, funny, kind, good-hearted person who I felt was out of my league. I knew in that moment I had to ask him about what my friend revealed to me in person, as I felt a text or a phone call would be too meaningless. Eventually about a month later I finally saw him and asked him about what my friend told me. He said "yes it's true, I like you." He then paused and repeated "I like you" looking me in the eyes. I had been shocked to a loss a words and did not tell him I felt the same way, just standing there like a dummy with a look of "I like you too" on my face. He then said "I would like to take you out on a proper date but because you live so far...it hard." He had a regretful look on his face. He said "I would kiss you right now but I would feel bad because I have to leave now, and I will not be with you". He hugged me and I left. A few days later my friend (The one who told me about how he felt) called me up saying she had been talking with James on Facebook telling me he was very heartbroken and upset because My mother was thinking about moving me out farther to a different university at the time, it did not end up happening. He thought I was moving for sure and I explained to him that she was just thinking about it and that nothing is official yet. I told him I was sorry if I hurt him in any way and I was sorry for the confusion. He just told me "it's okay" and "it's fine". I knew that it wasn't okay and it wasn't fine and tired talking to him about it but he just put up a wall about it. My friend told me later that he did that because he was afraid he would upset me. It has been a few weeks since I have seen James last, and it has been hard to make plans to see him as he is very busy with work, school and family. I haven't been sleeping very well in the last two weeks, and I am afraid his feelings will wear out and away. But the distance only makes mine stronger.....I have been feeling lost and I am unsure what to do....I would just appreciate some advice, or even simply an opinion on this at the very least. Thank you.
A few months back a good friend of mine told me a close guy friend of mine (lets call him James) admitted to her he likes me. Now please keep this under circumstance that I had gotten into an accident a two weeks before the end of the term unexpectedly, and had already been moved by the time I had gotten out of the hospital, as well as had transferred schools. Basically speaking he had missed his chance unexpectedly. When my friend revealed his true feelings I was in complete shock, as he is two and a half years older than me, and a talented musician who is a rather popular, funny, kind, good-hearted person who I felt was out of my league. I knew in that moment I had to ask him about what my friend revealed to me in person, as I felt a text or a phone call would be too meaningless. Eventually about a month later I finally saw him and asked him about what my friend told me. He said "yes it's true, I like you." He then paused and repeated "I like you" looking me in the eyes. I had been shocked to a loss a words and did not tell him I felt the same way, just standing there like a dummy with a look of "I like you too" on my face. He then said "I would like to take you out on a proper date but because you live so far...it hard." He had a regretful look on his face. He said "I would kiss you right now but I would feel bad because I have to leave now, and I will not be with you". He hugged me and I left. A few days later my friend (The one who told me about how he felt) called me up saying she had been talking with James on Facebook telling me he was very heartbroken and upset because My mother was thinking about moving me out farther to a different university at the time, it did not end up happening. He thought I was moving for sure and I explained to him that she was just thinking about it and that nothing is official yet. I told him I was sorry if I hurt him in any way and I was sorry for the confusion. He just told me "it's okay" and "it's fine". I knew that it wasn't okay and it wasn't fine and tired talking to him about it but he just put up a wall about it. My friend told me later that he did that because he was afraid he would upset me. It has been a few weeks since I have seen James last, and it has been hard to make plans to see him as he is very busy with work, school and family. I haven't been sleeping very well in the last two weeks, and I am afraid his feelings will wear out and away. But the distance only makes mine stronger.....I have been feeling lost and I am unsure what to do....I would just appreciate some advice, or even simply an opinion on this at the very least. Thank you.
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It's not meant to happen. Maybe not right now, but it's obvious that your lives are not meant to intertwine right now. The thing about LDRs is they only work if there is a foreseeable chance that the relationship will end up in a physical medium. Your life is elsewhere right now, and getting into an LDR knowing that fact is essentially putting an 'Expiration Date' on your relationship.
It's best to at least tell him how you feel/felt, and that because it's just.. not going to happen, that you have to be just friends. Don't use 'for right now', because that implies there will be a magical 'right now' time, where things will work out. You can't promise that, so it's best to get closure.
I know it sucks. I know. But you have to be realistic about things as an adult.
It's best to at least tell him how you feel/felt, and that because it's just.. not going to happen, that you have to be just friends. Don't use 'for right now', because that implies there will be a magical 'right now' time, where things will work out. You can't promise that, so it's best to get closure.
I know it sucks. I know. But you have to be realistic about things as an adult.
