Your own insecurities.

I really want you guys to read this so I tried to keep it short:

I hate to say something sappy like "you're better than you think you are" but, well... you really are better than you realize. As soon as people stopped being a source of validation for me, I discovered "hey, I'm not such a worthless human after all". My relationship with myself and (ironically) my relationship with other people really just became a dramatically enjoyable thing. I was suddenly filled with all this Philanthropy and life was great.

I'm a guy in my 20's. I general I'm self concious about how my hair looks, if there's anything on ym face. i think this is to do with when I was about 12-17 I had alot of spots on my face. Also, because I'm a guy, how big my penis is. No matter your size, you're always gonna worry if people will mock you for it being a certain size

My receding hairline and my baby face are two things that annoy me about myself. I can grow a nice, even beard, but it makes me look like a child molester. After I was in a car accident that caused a traumatic brain injury, I'm annoyed because my right wrist, despite being my dominant hand, is incredibly weak. I also have terrible balance when it comes to climbing anything. I have even less patience with myself than I used to, and that's really saying something. My speech even slurs more often, so I have to actively avoid slurring. It's even worse because I'm a grammar Nazi, so whenever I mess up, in order to not be a hypocrite, I criticize myself constantly.

I have Asperger's syndrome, and I miss cues that someone may be interested in me. I'm pretty much convinced that I may have to stay in the realm of fantasy because I'm always worried that if I were to get a girlfriend, I wouldn't be able to reciprocate appropriately. Also, being an atheist in America would pretty much destroy any chance of a relationship.

One major insecurity I have is my weight. Back about 5 years ago I was able to finally lose most of my excess weight that I had since I was 10 but within the last year I have gained a good majority of it back. To the point that my father weighs almost as much I do right now (and he got bypass surgery due to his weight). I try to loose my weight but it feels as if I never have the time since I went back to school so going to work full time and going to school full time. I am hoping that taking off this semester will help me do that and get back to my "happy weight" that made me feel good about myself.

My other thing is the fact that I still live at home with my parents that makes me feel insecure since I am in my 30s. The only good news is that it is not due to the fact that I can't find a place since I have moved out in the past. So if I wanted to move out again I could (long story why I came back) but since I'm back it feels like the old "30 year old living in mom's basement" type thing since I have not chosen to leave yet. It is just that I see people who are my age or younger and they live alone while I'm at my parents house still makes me feel so insecure.

My biggest insecurity is most likely my intelligence my mean IQ score from middle/high school was 173. I've always scored well above on everything. My EOG's in middle school I always scored in the 99th percentile. I've passed all of class's to date without even opening a book. I can look around my rooms and see in my head how everything is produced and assembled, but I have problems with simple concepts like human interactions and emotions. I understand them from a scientific angle, but I fear I am emotionally dead. Intangible concepts like like, love, friendship, regret, remorse and other such concepts I can't quiet grasp. Its as if every action in life is a system of checks and balances pros vs cons. I've been diagnosed borderline autistic, narcissistic, a megalomaniac, and lacking empathy.
The fact I can't fit in to one of those box's most people fit in to is my insecurity

Are humans supposed to understand one another or are we just playing this giant game called "Life"

You are overthrowing. More importantly, your observation on concepts, "life" and this mentality you show me is your own arrogant fantasies. I don't care if your a lack of empathy, high scoring scholar with master for civil laws.

What you wrote counters basically everything you claimed yourself to be.

Wow! I would never knock anyone for their opinion, but this is written like a bad fan sub
I'm guessing this is some comment about my argument lapsing in on its self.



Can't argue with an opinion, but try subject-verb agreement its generally taught in Elementary school.


I'm just going to rewrite this in a way that makes it logical and coherent hoping that's the point you where trying to make and not simply mental deficiency.
I don't care if your a high scoring scholar with a lack of empathy and masters in civil law.


Yourself is not need it just makes you sound ignorant.

PS: Here's hoping this is a translation error and I'm not actually replying to an ignoramus. This was written in English.

What? You hid under the fact that your intelligence is the reason why you can't fit in. If your that productive with knowledge, why don't you try looking at yourself and stop hiding under past achievements? Especially under social pressures. Stop looking at your scores and comparing it with yourself, thinking it's a bad thing. There's no reason to tell me your lack of empathy, it isn't a personality disorder.

You have don't need to fear anyone.

Aesthetic appearance. Mainly facial appearance. There are some stuff on my face I'd like to get rid of. My body is very fit although I'd like to be even more toned but that's easily achievable as I'm gifted physically. However I'm also insecure about relationships with others, friends and such as I can never tell if somebody is truly a friend or not... Like even those who are extremely close, when I'm down they don't seem to give a shit about me at those times but when I'm up they seem to care a lot. Also future job, I'm more uncertain than insecure about what my future lies ahead of me...

I have depression and what I consider the ugliest hairy vagina, like literally toilet paper gets stuck if I don't cut it after a certain period.

Here goes.

I've been 18 since 12/10. I get told I look like Wolverine, sound older than I really am, and look taller than my age, which is ironic, since I'm 5'6". I've never had a real life girlfriend before, I'm bisexual (which makes me unable to tell most people), I flirt horribly, I am anti-social to an extent, I have a high voice sometimes (screeching, voicing over things), I suck at most video games that professionals either make a hobby or live off of, and I cannot romance a girl for the life of me.

The worst part?

Still a virgin. And my 19th birthday's coming up soon...

Thats not really a bad thing. Took me till I was almost 21 and dating Cherry for a few months before losing my virginity. And you know what? I'm glad I didn't just go around with people and having sex on like the second date as most of the girls seemed to do in my high school.
It's not my place to give relationship advise but I think having some more confidence in yourself and keeping what you have to say simple might help with the self proclaimed awkward flirting and romance... One girl
I know finds that kinda attractive though (she's like 30 though)

True, but I can't even get a sentence in a conversation out before fucking up.

Often enough my mind ("A great servant but terrible master"-Someone who Ram Das probably quoted) can take over and instead of being in the eye of the storm watching and waiting for the mind to calm the hell down, i am thrown inside the clouds category 4 level hurricane (or maybe 3) that mine turns out to be.

When i am in the storm life sucked, simple as that. My identity of the time was deeply nihilistic. I had thoughts that came and try push myself out of the dumps but there was no willpower in me to do anything about everything. This mainly happened during my first year at uni when my neurotic ego trip ended with a fiery crash that left me (and i still somewhat am on a lower level)broken completely(which i thank them with an open heart) when pledging an underground frat at the time and ended up dropping when 8 weeks in and 2 weeks close to finishing. Why? Every time i look back to that moment I broke down for the fourth time while driving my ex-line bros to a night of sheer physical and mental suffering about to lose it and go on one of those rampages (I didn't have it in me anymore to that) I just cried and cried and drove and yell "Fuck this! i'm done i'm dping i can't do this anymore!" and cried and wept even more while stepping on the gas pedal crying and weeping while snot is going into my mouth and just muttering, "I'm done, i'm dping tonight i'm done..." and a line bro tried taking out of my selfish demise by speaking out his pain throughout the whole journey of becoming fucking warriors. And my mind crystalized the thoughts of "i'm done and i'm dping" and it totally blocked out what he was saying(If yoy know who is ever reading this i'm fucking sorry man for leaving you and all the other guys behind in my selfish shit headed desire to leave you all behind for my own welfare)
Broken, depressed, anxious, antisocial, ego-tripping, closed in, my life for a weeks worth of temporal happiness instead of what might be an awesome college life for just 2 weeks of breaking myself even further became. All this showed in my academic performance the next quarter with a 0.8 GPA from barely a 2.0. All I did was hole up in my dorm, jerked it, play games, watch anime, jerk it even more, procrastinate every thing, and smoke weed(shit helped with the mental issue).
Flash forward. I'm now a 3rd year with a freshman academic standing with last time i checked 1.7 gpa Drop-out(Instead of college being what it was pre-60s where learning occurred, knowledge flourished, and no dogmas appeared it's what it is now, plain ol' "higher" education where intelligent conversations that pushed the edge of thinking devolved into being programmed to get a diploma to make more money in order to be happy in the future that probably won't even manifest)(damn i just got thrown in to the storm right there)to help manage my family business.

Point being we are not our minds and what we think of ourselves, yet we are. My way of coming back to my center is questioning who is the "I" that thinks "I am (fill in the blank)" and go look for it inside my psyche until i have nothing to find and i look back and see all my thoughts are just the clouds that evaporated and condensed from the ocean we all are and insecurity is just the rain, it'll go away at it's rate

From my painfully opened heart and my societal programmed neurotic mind,
Inner Peace and Love with some Cosmic Bukakke on top with Oppai made of more more inner peace

Although I wasn't too pretty, I was confident with my physical. Yep, all of them from the top to the bottom. About my personality, although people always misjudged me as a rough and jackass bitch, I'm fine with that since I can admit I really bad at expressing what I feels.

So from the outside and inside I'm fine.
but, yes there lil insecure feelings. Maybe my tattoos. The reason? too much.

Over thinking. When ever I'm doing something that has to be planned out to a certain extent, such as writing an essay/research paper, forum post, or making a character in an RPG, etc., I tend to waste a lot of time trying to make everything perfect.

Distrust. I have a tendency to avoid getting close to others because I'm afraid of being judged.

well there are 3 things actually, rich people, singing and my dick.

well i wasn't born rich, singing fucking hates me and I feel so insecure everytime i look at my own D, (notgonnatellthesize lmao) my gf told me it's not small, it's huge and she likes it, lol she has nothing to compare it to since she lost her virginity to me and I'm like the only man she ever had sex with (pls no NTR, I will fucking torture the guy who will touch her lol no joke). but besides her compliment it doesn't make me feel any better.

My biggest insecurity is talking to women I am 22 and I don't know why I just have a hard time talking to women. It not that I am worried about being shunned as I am honest to a fault when someone asks about me. I am just socially awkward whenever I am talking to women and as much as I want to be there is no easy way not to be.

Cool idea, never really done this before. I think I'll give it a shot, who knows maybe being upfront about my insecurities to strangers will help me rationalise and overcome them!

My bodily odor, ever since a young age I've struggled with an incredibly sensitive stomach and bowel. I have a strictly self modulated diet (that I don't like talking about) and still I have a great deal of trouble controlling myself. I have long stretches where there is, to me, an inexcusable amount of pungent gas. Doctors diagnose it as IBS or 'We don't have a clue whats causing it or what will help you' syndrome. As such I live in constant awareness that I could stink and not even be aware of it because my nose is too used to the smell. This effects me exactly how you would expect, I constantly look at others and think can they smell me?

I also have trouble with mild paruresis (pee shyness) which stems from a bad experience of bullying while in the school toilet. I have coping strategies and can still go out drinking with friends & family, but there are times where you cannot keep it private.

My wasted University degree, I got a BA(hons) in graphic design and didn't do anything with it. When I talk about it I lie about how there was no work available, that I did everything I could and that I had no choice but to move on. I don't honestly believe that myself, I know I could've tried harder, worked harder. People from the same class as me are successful and living the life I dreamed of living. Jealousy is ugly. I'm honestly happy with where I'm working, the job is rewarding, the people are great, the pay is ok. My goals have changed and looking back, my time at University was an utter waste of 3 years and a large loan that grows bigger every day until I eventually earn enough to start paying it back.

Declining youth, thinning hair, growing belly, tired eyes. Times unfeeling march forward that only seems to get faster with each year. I'm 26 now, 26. That's not funny, not even a little bit. Of course people tell me that's still young but when I compare what I've achieved to others, I feel like time is not on my side at all. I'm still just as immature and naive as ever.