I came out to my girlfriend as Bisexual and she left me

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The title says it all. Honestly I'm not in tears, I'm fine, I am upset of course, it took alot to say it to her face, so now I'm on my own, not sure what to do. Any advice on what I should do now? Should I try and keep in contact with her or not? Any advice on anything would be really helpful. Thanks ^^
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animefreak_usa Child of Samael
You should try here. https://www.fakku.net/forums/love-romance-and-relationships
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Misaki_Chi Fakku Nurse
Just depends on you really. You can try to keep in contact if you want to, but know if you do that doesn't mean she will do the same in response. Once a relationship ends it's not common that you'll keep in touch with your ex. Some people can, but again just depends on circumstances, eventually though you just move on. Just do what you feel is best and go with it and take time for yourself if you still need it.
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artcellrox The Grey Knight :y
If it's any consolation, she sounds like trouble if she left you just because you swing both ways.
1
Several possibilities :
  • She might dislike the gay/homosexual aspect.

  • She might misinterpret your revelation as "I'm pansexual" and doesn't feel that you see her as the woman she is -- which might be very important for some individuals.

  • She might feel unconfident to keep you falling/being in love with her as she can't compete with males.

  • She might fear that you might cheat on her when feeling to swing the other way, because she can't "compete" both as male and female.


Maybe other possibilities.
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You say she left but how? Just left your life out of the blue after that and never called or texted?
Or said she doesn't want to be with you anymore cause either way both seem to hit pretty deep and I wouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't accept everything about me.

Though, understandably she might feel like you kept that a secret from her so maybe you two should talk before it really ends.
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At least you were honest, sounds like she's got issues to overcome.
2
There is a lot of ignorance surrounding bisexuality and what it means, sounds like she's one of those ignorant people because honestly it shouldn't have changed anything. I'm sorry you had to go through that, i really feel you. It can take a lot to tell people about your sexuality and to have them act like that is painful. But you just have to move on and find someone less ignorant and more open minded.
You can try to contact her, if yo really liked each other then there is a slight possibility of having a friendship, but if she just left like that then I think you should just leave it.
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Honestly, despite being pan/bisexual myself, I'd have a really hard time dating a bisexual guy. I know this is an ignorant and hurtful perspective, but it's the truth. However, I can also admit this is 100% rooted in my own insecurities. It is merely better for my mental health if I don't date someone bisexual, because in my maladaptive mindset I'd feel like I would have too much to compete with and couldn't offer enough to truly satisfy my partner. She might feel similarly. Unfortunately, if talking and clarifying to her isn't enough to set her at ease with it, it might be better for both of you to merely let the relationship go. You deserve someone who can accept you completely for who you are, and she deserves someone who she can accept completely. Your bisexuality isn't the issue. It's just that you two are not compatible. I would merely mention this up-front to future partners, so they can address their concerns ahead of time. Best of luck.
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Misaki_Chi Fakku Nurse
HappyDia01 wrote...
Honestly, despite being pan/bisexual myself, I'd have a really hard time dating a bisexual guy. I know this is an ignorant and hurtful perspective, but it's the truth. However, I can also admit this is 100% rooted in my own insecurities. It is merely better for my mental health if I don't date someone bisexual, because in my maladaptive mindset I'd feel like I would have too much to compete with and couldn't offer enough to truly satisfy my partner. She might feel similarly. Unfortunately, if talking and clarifying to her isn't enough to set her at ease with it, it might be better for both of you to merely let the relationship go. You deserve someone who can accept you completely for who you are, and she deserves someone who she can accept completely. Your bisexuality isn't the issue. It's just that you two are not compatible. I would merely mention this up-front to future partners, so they can address their concerns ahead of time. Best of luck.


I will be honest and say I would have a hard time myself personally dating someone who is bisexual. I have nothing against it and to me love is love whether you are straight, bi-sexual, pan sexual, homosexual, etc. What I am personally comfortable with dating is a different matter. I just don't know if I could be comfortable with my guy having a thing for men or if I could accept they've been with a man. For me as a straight person, I could not comprehend being with a woman or being open to that possibility, I've made out with women, but I have no desire to ever go past those couple experiences or explore further.

I know this could be hurtful to hear and if I found the person I dated came out to me he was bisexual I don't know how I would react. I think I would a mixture of anger for keeping such a secret as well as insecure and fearful of what their past was like as well as how they feel currently. I would probably talk about it with the person and need time to process everything. I can't say I would leave a person just because I find out they swing both ways, but given how I was raised and how I feel in my own sexual orientation it would depend.

All of it boils down to this, if a person cannot accept you for who you are then they are never going to be the right one for you. You can think what you want to about a person not accepting you for whatever reason, but you cannot change the fundamentals of a person to make things work. You just hope that when you do date that they are a good match for you and if they're not to decide if this is really what you want.

A good bit of advice is to take a relationship slow and to get to know a person before you become too serious. If you're bisexual don't wait to talk about it, make it one of your deal breakers. This isn't a first date sort of thing you have to open up with, but if you find you are starting to care for someone then all you can do is be honest and hope they'll do the same and be open to talking, after that it's just day by day.

Even though I may have my own personal thoughts on what I'm okay and not okay with in terms of dating, I see nothing wrong with a person being of one or more sexual orientations. Love is a beautiful thing and if you can find love with another who can accept you as a person then that is a blessing.
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I always wondered about this, and not many people can't come up with an answer. When you say "accepting" one is bi, do you mean being fine with them being turned on by the same sex, or "hey darling, can I go scratch this other itch"? Because to me there's a world of difference.
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Tenzou wrote...
I always wondered about this, and not many people can't come up with an answer. When you say "accepting" one is bi, do you mean being fine with them being turned on by the same sex, or "hey darling, can I go scratch this other itch"? Because to me there's a world of difference.

Accepting means being okay with your partner's sexuality, it doesn't necessarily mean you're okay with your partner dating other people. Moreover just because someone is bisexual doesn't mean theyre promiscuous and wanna sleep with anyone that walks by.
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What would you have to gain by staying in touch? Let the wound heal, don't pick at it!
Keep your happy memories and move on. From my experience that'll be better for both of you. ;)




R. wrote...
Tenzou wrote...
I always wondered about this, and not many people can't come up with an answer. When you say "accepting" one is bi, do you mean being fine with them being turned on by the same sex, or "hey darling, can I go scratch this other itch"? Because to me there's a world of difference.

Accepting means being okay with your partner's sexuality, it doesn't necessarily mean you're okay with your partner dating other people. Moreover just because someone is bisexual doesn't mean theyre promiscuous and wanna sleep with anyone that walks by.


Perfect answer... every relationship has some acceptance of sexuality. It just sounds so obvious that we normally don't say it: if you're heterosexual, and in a heterosexual relationship, you obviously accept each other's heterosexuality. That doesn't mean you're in an open relationship though.
1
Tell her that you're bi increases the chances that you may leave her in her mind :)

It's was a joke ! well , let me tell you that she's not very sweet :(
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I'm late but just know that bisexuals are awesome and YOU are awesome.
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Misaki_Chi wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
Honestly, despite being pan/bisexual myself, I'd have a really hard time dating a bisexual guy. I know this is an ignorant and hurtful perspective, but it's the truth. However, I can also admit this is 100% rooted in my own insecurities. It is merely better for my mental health if I don't date someone bisexual, because in my maladaptive mindset I'd feel like I would have too much to compete with and couldn't offer enough to truly satisfy my partner. She might feel similarly. Unfortunately, if talking and clarifying to her isn't enough to set her at ease with it, it might be better for both of you to merely let the relationship go. You deserve someone who can accept you completely for who you are, and she deserves someone who she can accept completely. Your bisexuality isn't the issue. It's just that you two are not compatible. I would merely mention this up-front to future partners, so they can address their concerns ahead of time. Best of luck.


I will be honest and say I would have a hard time myself personally dating someone who is bisexual. I have nothing against it and to me love is love whether you are straight, bi-sexual, pan sexual, homosexual, etc. What I am personally comfortable with dating is a different matter. I just don't know if I could be comfortable with my guy having a thing for men or if I could accept they've been with a man. For me as a straight person, I could not comprehend being with a woman or being open to that possibility, I've made out with women, but I have no desire to ever go past those couple experiences or explore further.

I know this could be hurtful to hear and if I found the person I dated came out to me he was bisexual I don't know how I would react. I think I would a mixture of anger for keeping such a secret as well as insecure and fearful of what their past was like as well as how they feel currently. I would probably talk about it with the person and need time to process everything. I can't say I would leave a person just because I find out they swing both ways, but given how I was raised and how I feel in my own sexual orientation it would depend.

All of it boils down to this, if a person cannot accept you for who you are then they are never going to be the right one for you. You can think what you want to about a person not accepting you for whatever reason, but you cannot change the fundamentals of a person to make things work. You just hope that when you do date that they are a good match for you and if they're not to decide if this is really what you want.

A good bit of advice is to take a relationship slow and to get to know a person before you become too serious. If you're bisexual don't wait to talk about it, make it one of your deal breakers. This isn't a first date sort of thing you have to open up with, but if you find you are starting to care for someone then all you can do is be honest and hope they'll do the same and be open to talking, after that it's just day by day.

Even though I may have my own personal thoughts on what I'm okay and not okay with in terms of dating, I see nothing wrong with a person being of one or more sexual orientations. Love is a beautiful thing and if you can find love with another who can accept you as a person then that is a blessing.


This is what I feel as well...and I feel bad about it.
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Misaki_Chi Fakku Nurse
yashae wrote...
Misaki_Chi wrote...
HappyDia01 wrote...
Honestly, despite being pan/bisexual myself, I'd have a really hard time dating a bisexual guy. I know this is an ignorant and hurtful perspective, but it's the truth. However, I can also admit this is 100% rooted in my own insecurities. It is merely better for my mental health if I don't date someone bisexual, because in my maladaptive mindset I'd feel like I would have too much to compete with and couldn't offer enough to truly satisfy my partner. She might feel similarly. Unfortunately, if talking and clarifying to her isn't enough to set her at ease with it, it might be better for both of you to merely let the relationship go. You deserve someone who can accept you completely for who you are, and she deserves someone who she can accept completely. Your bisexuality isn't the issue. It's just that you two are not compatible. I would merely mention this up-front to future partners, so they can address their concerns ahead of time. Best of luck.


I will be honest and say I would have a hard time myself personally dating someone who is bisexual. I have nothing against it and to me love is love whether you are straight, bi-sexual, pan sexual, homosexual, etc. What I am personally comfortable with dating is a different matter. I just don't know if I could be comfortable with my guy having a thing for men or if I could accept they've been with a man. For me as a straight person, I could not comprehend being with a woman or being open to that possibility, I've made out with women, but I have no desire to ever go past those couple experiences or explore further.

I know this could be hurtful to hear and if I found the person I dated came out to me he was bisexual I don't know how I would react. I think I would a mixture of anger for keeping such a secret as well as insecure and fearful of what their past was like as well as how they feel currently. I would probably talk about it with the person and need time to process everything. I can't say I would leave a person just because I find out they swing both ways, but given how I was raised and how I feel in my own sexual orientation it would depend.

All of it boils down to this, if a person cannot accept you for who you are then they are never going to be the right one for you. You can think what you want to about a person not accepting you for whatever reason, but you cannot change the fundamentals of a person to make things work. You just hope that when you do date that they are a good match for you and if they're not to decide if this is really what you want.

A good bit of advice is to take a relationship slow and to get to know a person before you become too serious. If you're bisexual don't wait to talk about it, make it one of your deal breakers. This isn't a first date sort of thing you have to open up with, but if you find you are starting to care for someone then all you can do is be honest and hope they'll do the same and be open to talking, after that it's just day by day.

Even though I may have my own personal thoughts on what I'm okay and not okay with in terms of dating, I see nothing wrong with a person being of one or more sexual orientations. Love is a beautiful thing and if you can find love with another who can accept you as a person then that is a blessing.


This is what I feel as well...and I feel bad about it.


Nothing wrong with it though, none of us are perfect and we can't change how we feel over night if at all.

To me it's worse if you lie and hide these feelings, because as hurtful as they could be it isn't right to fake being okay if you just plain are not so.

I'm open minded or at least I try my best to be, but I am honest when I say I can't date people shorter then me. I have before and I just can't get over someone being shorter especially when I'm wearing heels. That may hurt a persons feelings or they may find it to be shallow, but I can't get over how I feel, never have.

All anyone wants is to be happy and find someone who wants the same.
1
FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind
Kyanoki wrote...
Does she not understand bisexual still means you love her? Or is she homophobic?


Maybe she's insecure. Her way of thinking is probably "Oh shit, now I have to worry about my boyfriend cheating on me with guys!"
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TraumaticSherry wrote...
I'm late but just know that bisexuals are awesome and YOU are awesome.


Thank you :)