Descendants of Time - Discussion Thread

I think it speaks for itself that Aramus has established himself as the lead character of the story. My initial aim was to make every PCs equally important, and use them to explore different parts of the world of DoT. I still do this, but not in the way that I used to do before, as Aramus is yet led to most of the important bits one way or the other. He is the main lens through one may view the world, despite the alternatives being there.

His curiosity was the trigger to this position. It was a bit late when I got him to take interest on the mysteries of the lore and the strange people inhabiting the world. Around Act 2, I think? Probably when the player’s interest kicked in, it started working out. Admittedly, Act 1 was really just Aramus getting his arse kicked by Natsu, so I can sort of excuse it. And yes, no other players were taking interest in lore, that or they weren’t noticing, even after me putting them out there on narrative sometimes.

The poor guy doesn’t get as much screentime as he used to now but I think that’ll change soon. Even if it doesn’t, I see the plot coming back to him either way. I don’t really know how it’d go till Act 10, but I think we can all see the potential in him, which I think I first noticed from his level of devotion for the Queen. This may likely be his best trait, but I love how his devotion is made apparent at every instance since it truly is his driving motivation in life aside from wanting to settle into a peaceful and simple life. That conversation when Queen asked what he desired tells us just how simple of a man he is.

While I really enjoy writing scenes with Aramus, however, there are some bits that have bugged me before. Aramus’ breakdown moments are far too selective, there are many instances where I think he should be collapsing from the mental pressure for at least a small period of time, but he doesn’t really react properly. His background is that of a commoner and a lot of commoners are honestly not very firm-willed. In fact, his profile’s Flaws indicates this clearly.

It’d make so much more sense if Aramus had something like the Strong-Willed Virtue, but now he just depends on Magic Cupcakes. Admittedly, it’s a bit boring that he copes with it in such a handwave-y way, but player hates taking Aramus into certain—and more realistic—directions. To some extent, I can agree, but otherwise, I’m not exactly sure, or I end up running into the aforementioned issue with him. I don’t really expect this to be fixed, but at least we know that losing Queen is doing to him what I expected.

Also, reactions, especially in the Descendant-related dramatic battles. I get that YOU as a player watched enough godly stuff in DoT and perhaps you got bored of them, but that doesn’t mean Aramus should become desensitized to them, it’s just barely been two years since all this shit started. He talks like his hijinks with the Descendants started many years ago. It almost sounds like sarcastic bragging sometimes. Yes, I understand that Aramus feels powerless, but that shouldn’t be everything there is to it. He doesn’t feel overwhelmed, no fear, just like a marching robot at behest of his Queen. Can’t tell if that’s him being distorted like F/SN’s Shirou or something.

I think the depth of his personality was explored in terms of positive matters. Like love, Queen and Aramus’ talks about such matters really helped shed light to his thinking, but when it comes to negative things, Aramus may feel dull at times. He’s a simple man, but there should be more to it than that, especially for someone who suffered so much, but maybe that’s just me.

Do what you think is best, nooby.

While the player may beg to differ, I’ve been treating Michael as the second MC, of sorts. When Aramus was cast to the light, Michael was cast to the dark, so to say. He isn’t exactly a villain, but his methods differ, despite the motive coming down to somewhere similar along the lines of Aramus; he has his own sense of justice, and acts upon it.

Michael wasn’t the type to explore lore and mysteries initially; he was more of a hired gun, but at some point he sought for answers as the story went on, and I feel like his most dramatic moments were when he finally received them. The scene where Jesus’ name is revealed being the most prominent one. I feel like those of us that wrote that scene wouldn’t forget it for the foreseeable future. This was also the scene where Michael’s character was truly put to the test. He was already lost, as hinted in the scene where Mary wanted him to come out on his emotions, but that part changed all of that.

The plan with Michael was to take him to the other side of the coin after revealing Aramus as his brother, which may explain to some how I see him as second MC. Speaking of the siblingship with Aramus, it sorta ties with my point of Aramus’ reactions being weird at times earlier—with how he treats Michael at their reunions. The lack of implications that Aramus cares for his brother is rather jarring indeed, especially in the omake of Act 4 or early Act 5 (barely even a hint, but I can understand that Aramus had his own shit back there).

Anyway, I feel like the opposite may have happened here and there for Michael. Reactions to other things became limited when he’d find a family member to link in any given situations, like the lord of distraction he is. Not sure if this is some kinda family Flaw effect or intentional on player’s part, but as the Storyteller I feel like I wasted something on him whenever that happens. Not that I think Michael just should focus on other parts, but maybe find an agreeable balance between the elements of the moment.

What I really liked about Michael was when he took the step to become a Representative. This was a big step for him, and he was going balls deep to get back at his daddy jeebus. I probably did a shitty job of hinting it, but Virgo showed interest in Michael even before they met, as she knew about the spirit that dwelled in him, so when they fought at the end of Act 4 in the lunar shard, she confirms the feeling and she expresses it by claiming that she liked the fire in his eyes, as if finding a diamond in the rough; that and she’s most lewd Descendant, I guess.

Now, I’ll be coming back to the reaction bit. There are times when the writings and reactions can completely mask his feelings to certain situations, even the ones against Descendants. Just like facing Virgo like any other guy as if he isn’t dealing with a Goddess. Okay, I get it, he was tired and mad that day, but it doesn’t make him a fearless badass. We could have him shaking or wavering here and there—regardless of his stubbornness, as Virgo was peerless and overwhelming in that fight in Act 4. This may have been intended somewhere or maybe it wasn’t, I don’t know, and that’s telling us something; player may need to work on balancing show than tell vs. tell for Michael, so that we do understand his personality to some extent more than just read the mindless action going on. Some subtlety may yet be fine.

I don’t have much screentime for the Descendants but there’s something I’m always trying to bring out for them, be it Virgo losing her shit when finding Almond or her just hating on Distortions outright, or just having him on her lap and spoiling him, but something crops up time and time again. I feel like even the times she doesn’t want to be open becomes obvious based on the wordings. Similarly, I feel like you should take more advantage of fleshing Michael’s personality with all the arising situations; he has more screentime than Virgo, or Rose, or even Charlotte, you can show something differently each time, or write similarly for a certain feeling each time, the reader would eventually catch up to it via either methods. The objective is to get his personality out there more than just showing them via action. We spoke about the wording thing at some point, something about adding a certain taste to his dialogues so that we know it’s him that’s talking, so I know it’s in the works, but maybe this will help you.

Remember, even if he’s a Rep, it doesn’t block avenues to characterize him further. He’s merely given a platform to face the more stronger things around in DoT, he isn’t all-powerful yet. I feel like this feeling is what deludes a player really quick, including Claudia’s player. Becoming a Rep is just the start of an adventure.

Now, more on the character developments.

First, it was Mary and his confusion of love, and Hare egging him on, and the tragedy of growing close to Laura in a burst of emotions and then losing her just as fast. Let’s ignore the fact that he was just going from one gurl to other gurl like some kinda harem protag and look at the developments, they all played a part in building him up somewhere, but him being dense may have been overplayed, this is especially because he had prior experience with Laura before moving onto the other girls.

It may be a case of him ignoring potential love interests due to subconsciously fearing “love” itself, which—I suppose works out in a way—and adds another side of him that we usually don’t tend to realize, but then it’s weird that he forgets this wall he made for himself when he somehow gets it on with Rose later. Since there was no hesitation; this may have been an inconsistency or Michael just said fuck it and fucked Rose, so to say—finally overcoming his wall. Anyway, that’s another theory on my part, it isn’t clear enough for one to say with certainty, and that’s a weakness of not being expressive enough with his character.

We’ve seen his struggles with his hatred for Jesus, we’ve seen his struggles with feelings of love, we’ve seen his struggles with the strong that gave him the want to move on. I think these were great developments and I think they may be built up on in the future. It was a bit refreshing when I got to make Jesus his biggest enemy after all the shit with the girls, but I realized it was still about Mary in the end. In hindsight, maybe that’s best for Michael, he is indeed the protector of smiles, and women are the true cause of his grievances in the end. The same may stand true for his dad. It’s a classic situation where father and son have to fight because WHYF00S.

I might be going in circles at this point.

I’m not sure anymore.

We’ve talked about the story hook matter earlier this thread, and I think while it’s important, player shouldn’t deliberately go for story hooks. This brings us to the part about Michael’s curiosity that is bordering on coming off as nosy at a few instances, or maybe it wasn’t, but felt like it to me. It went from 50% to 150% for his want for lore knowledge, maybe 100% will seem more natural instead. My suggestion is that his assassin/spy-ish nature is mirrored more with his curiosity. Granted, some of that has been there, but maybe just a little bit more.

Regardless, I’d say props to the player for coming so far with Michael. The character profile was made in just about an hour and today, it’s certainly not what it was back then, but it became something memorable.

His character interactions are what brought some life to DoT in the first place. First half he got to be involved with Mary and second half with Charlotte. Just as planned. Now, he may well be shifting to a potential Descendant waifu. I feel like this will truly test his oath, and the weight of his resolve. Will Michael live up to his Mistress and save Mary from his father’s plans? Time will tell, but I can say that I’m looking forward to it, and that’s definitely a good thing.

Certainly, you’re not on the wrong path, Shiki—walk onwards.

Oh boy, where do I even start with you, Claudia? One may see the whimsical nature of the player through this character’s life, as even he claims he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do sometimes.

Claudia went from a weak-willed servant girl to a criminal sadistic bitch who wants to see an apparently snobbish noble cry to an edgy vampire Representative of the most feared Descendant of the Magic World, and then finally a Darth Vader, of sorts. There was something about her personality that caught me early on. In particular, it was how highly inconsistent she was.

Yes, I’m diving into the cancer that was Act 2 Claudia.

So, first off, she missed almost every aspects of a vampire. I’d have been much happier with a stereotypical vampire personality, to be honest. It went full-throttle on the edge, going for the Kaneki-expy, which I noticed pretty early out and pointed out. Oddly enough, the developments did make her more likable than what she was in the majority of Act 1, we could see her embracing her darker elements, but I feel like her lecherous and evil side could be developed further in said Act, so that it’d be more of an impact for when she’d truly dive low into the darkness. Maybe some foreshadowing than just suddenly dropping the heavy shit. This may have been inexperience combined with the inspiration from Louise of Tales RP. Anyway, Claudia exploring her inner darkness may have been more interesting than just being the darkness itself out of nowhere. Or edge, or whatever you wanna call it.

I found her to be inconsistent on various occasions, too. From the top of the head, one that comes to mind was the Queen’s Meeting in Act 2, where she flips back to her Act 1 tea-time-café-self when talking to Mary. I don’t think it wasn’t just me who was surprised to see such perfected two-facedness when her charisma was shit and her Flaws and Virtues lacked something to justify such a nearly-flawless act. This is kinda what comes off as OOC to me. I bitched about this, and we finally started seeing Claudia develop as Mary takes the honor of taking a limb from her for the first time.

Marco. Ah yes, Marco, I feel like we made those parts a bit too cringey, but strangely, the player liked that guy, so it works out in the end. Some people likes the cheesy and some doesn’t. Okay, but that shit cools over so fast after he dies that I was kind of surprised, to be honest. She just moves on so perfectly that it bugs me. She loved him, right? But then that is strangely short-lived. Was it a crush? Even a crush is more memorable than a damned Marco.

She keeps dancing between this “Claudia with bits of humanity left” and the “Claudia who lacks bits of humanity entirely” and then the whole Dark Dame Claudia came in at Act 5 and it got even more convoluted. What it seems to me is that she was selectively showing her emotions, and just dismissed characters that player personally lost interest in at some point of time?

Make up your mind, bruh. Lore even established at some point that Reps may have humanity in them left. Hell, Mary and Charlotte being so human should’ve been hint enough.

When the Dark Dame stuff happened and Claudia became disciplined and cool, I was actually very happy. It became a character who I could trust as a villain more. D kind of makes the mistake that Claudia is supposed to be a character a reader is supposed to root for. She isn’t. She is made to kick the ass of the good people, and when she fails, it’s only natural, because it’s not exactly normal for villains to be winners a lot of the time, especially when Claudia… makes bad decisions often (like Alek). Player should probably not stress over her successes too much, when taking on the mantle of a villain—one must be prepared to get assrekt too. She ain’t starting off as the Joker or something, she’s meant to have bumps along the road, so chill. It’s kinda funny seeing all the salt there for something so natural.

What makes Claudia interesting are her struggles with making successes and trying to win over the Countess. What hasn’t made her interesting so far are her other attempts over love on the side of things. After Marco, Constance was easily forgotten when her obsession over power came into view. Her dad was treated similarly—she just moves on in a few days, just salty at his sight and that’s it. Really Claudia? That’s your fucking dad and you give up on family after harping about your stupid tiara for so long? The main issue here is that none of her developments of her attachments come to fitting ends. They lack proper conclusions, and shoved under the rug. That’s not the proper way to get over problems.

Claudia lacks a backbone, in more ways than one, at the moment. Player may be pushing too much of his personal-perspective into the character even now but I’m not really sure.

This will get a bit complicated, but she likes someone who accepts her primarily, but hates that same person when they show a different side of themselves, one that is actually darker, and potentially unpleasant at first glance. I spoke about this before, but the issue with wanting to give up on the Countess abruptly (in a recent scene) is also the same. This makes her go OOC all over again. She speaks so grandly of her promises and aspirations that you’d think she’d keep the end of her bargain each time, but she forgets them more than often than one could imagine, and fails to deliver. When confronted, she’d just wave a hand and move onto the next topic. I don’t really know what’s up with this attitude, but maybe that’s just one glimpse of her personality.

Now, let’s go over it in a bit more detail.

She got infatuated with Mary when she cared about her, she got really into Charlotte because she was cool and pretty, she got into Countess because of how intoxicating she was, and how accepting of her personality she appeared to be. Even Maria is well-received because of this, but I can tell for sure that this will change the moment Maria finds a reason to show some form of hate. That’s right, you guessed it, because Claudia vehemently hated every other characters the moment they found some form of reason to show her hate. Hate for something she fucks up in, a lot of the time, but whether it’s just hate or simple anger or frustration tends to differ.

I’m not sure what she’s expecting from these characters, but the ironies keep piling on, as she thinks they should love her unconditionally—and forever forgive her—when she herself doesn’t do the same thing, she sure does expects it from them. It’s even weirder when she just casually forgets about them afterwards when she finally does confirm her hate or lack of care for them.

Am I needlessly rambling about this? Maybe, but that’s how much I grew to care about her.

The only thing that seems to stick so far is Mary, undoubtedly, but how long will this last? The last time we find Claudia get mad over Mary and Charlotte is early Act 6, and that’s where she came up with a rather ironic reason to kill her, leaving me even more confused. Player just kinda handwaves this despite me asking what the sheet was going on there. Yes, there was a lot of emotion to it, that was great, but maybe not have her conveniently forget that she was told in hints how old Mary was?

She has a twisted perception of love. Love isn’t just appreciating a given outlook of a person, it’s also about accepting the other side of the coin of the person. Otherwise, it’s close to just idolization and maybe sexualize a character. That’s not love, that’s just a silly obsession. If Claudia truly loves the Countess, she shouldn’t be pussying out so easily. Don’t just give up over a few barks, the Countess is far more similar to Claudia than one may think. They’re not exactly the same in background but there are certain things bits they should be able to sympathize upon, that’s what brought them together in the first place. Now, I don’t really know if Claudia is meant to be making a mistake on what love is, but it seems like that’s not the case for the Countess. That Descendant is truly something beyond a simple infatuation, and I feel like Claudia made that obvious over the Acts, but now it’s starting to look inconsistent, let’s hope that stops.

Do I even need to start over Cosette? It’s the same shit, except it was instantaneous because of the aforementioned reason.

Rose? That shit happened overnight.

Ah, yes, where was I? Her backbone.

Aside from the Blood Countess, Claudia is painfully aimless as a villain. Personal feuds aside, she has no true goal. Despite introducing all the vampires, Claudia is just too detached from the whole vampire business, because let’s face it, she can’t understand her fellow vampires. They all desire their own liberty in the underbelly of the societies and prey upon the innocent. That’s their nature. Claudia was disgusted over them wanting slaves when she wanted one herself. That’s another shit I can’t exactly wrap my head around.

She doesn’t exactly know why she fights aside from orders. At first, we understood that it’s because of orders, but it’s rather jarring that she doesn’t find a common reason with her brethrens. Does she desire freedom? Glory? She is just there in the grand scheme of things, that’s the weakness of lacking a clear direction—a goal. Does she want to succeed the Countess as the next boss? As a so-called Darth Vader wannabe, should she be acting as the enforcer of her Mistress’ will? Think about what it means to be a Representative—a daughter—of the Blood Countess. Is Claudia there to asslick her? Fuck no, she’s there to represent her mother’s interests. Scorpio already told her what she wants from day 1, now it’s time to be a commander and take point, instead of making it so obvious that she doesn’t care, effectively destroying her true value. It’s painful to watch the Countess consoling her, and Claudia damn well knows how much of a dead weight she can become, but that’s just her fault in the end. Act 5 event where Claudia spoke to the Queen was probably the best moment when she represented her mother.

That’s the Claudia we want to see, someone who knows her part, and is willing to take a stand before the nemesis of her Mistress. If she wants her mother’s love, she has to grow. Going Princess was a step in the right direction, she shows us readers how she has grown to tell good lies, or perhaps it’s just her new personality doing its magic, but whatever, we see her being wiser.

The change thing is going too far with Claudia, though. Absolute change, but from what? Toss aside the Dark Dame that finally got recognized to be fearsome in the Magic World and her mother and Rafflesia? The motivation here is murky at best and even then, I cannot sympathize with Claudia. Gaining power is moving forward, but changing is just potentially switching sides, or potentially shifting paths, none of which exactly makes a great deal of sense. Who does she want to go to if she changes and doesn’t like Countess anymore? And if so, would she even be relevant to plot anymore? There’s this thing where I’m unclear about her motivations, but the Silver Tiara could give up on Claudia easily if all she does is pretend to play Princess, because a country doesn’t need the jester, but the ruler.

I think that’s the best way to put it. She needs to get into her role as a vampire, a Representative, an Undertaker, a Dark Dame, and now a Princess. Player himself into this, now he has to juggle, with the added pleasure of dealing with Mary eventually. Rather than regret actions, learn to reconcile.

Don’t wallow over mistakes, Ezlare, we all make mistakes, you just made a bit more than the rest of us.

Roland is nerdy as hell. That’s the first thing that comes to mind.

This is a character that sorta started out a bit slow for me. It was just a little over fifty pages in the doc but it felt like forever for me. Starting out from paying a visit to Frederica to getting to develop some respect for her aside from treating her with the modicum of courtesy afforded for her due to the fact that she was his sponsor was kind of nice. It showed us that Roland wasn’t one for showing respect to the nobles unless he got to know them personally. A lot of people were known to look up to the nobility while the rest frowned at them out of jealousy and contempt, Roland turned out to be someone who was just above all of this mundane stuff, despite coming from a relatively mundane background.

Hm, that does appear strange on second thought now, because he should’ve been mundane before being introduced to magic, and should’ve had at least had something more than lack of manners towards nobles. Bleh, whatever. Character wasn’t thought enough or something. More handwave-y stuff.

Moving on, interests to legends and high aspirations as a Scholar were heavily dotted throughout Roland’s life. His curiosity to lore as a researcher was also a fresh breath of air to me. Aramus focused towards lore surrounding Descendants, but while Roland did the same, he remained someone who bit at any terminology-based baits, allowing us to explore more of the world of DoT.

We see his chivalry quite early too when he goes for taking Sherry out of the tower library, and then his strong love for his parent with how strongly he denies the words of King Solomon. There was some disappointment felt when Roland’s expectations ran contrary to what the King was like, and I feel like the player felt some of that too, but I stand by my style of making the Gods different from what they’re said to be a lot of the time in DoT; I just don’t feel the need to adhere to a given story like they’re my set of rules all the time. This is something I do with DoT often because I think that even if certain mythologies were records based on real stories, the real stories definitely didn’t go as the records would claim. History’s always written by the victors, and that’s one of the big elements of this story.

As we progressed, his stubbornness was the next to be explored, and it appeared to remain all the way through the Witch of Calamity. Now, he is developing to be a fine mage and a researcher. We’ve set his motivation via his chivalric nature to go for saving Pisces and getting her out of the mess that the Japanese put her in. With the Celestial Spirits placing their trust in him, it became a sort of a turning point in the story.

So with that, his motive is discovered and his method is in the process of being discovered as he proceeds with the dungeoning arc. This is great, and shows that a lot of the developments have went in the right direction.

I think the first issue I had with Roland was with the player unable to separate himself from scientific values. Even in the creation of spells, I’ve had to repeatedly deal with this, ending up with a certain Aurum spell… it’s just that Roland is supposed to be more of a magic nerd than a science nerd, so when I see this clash, it can be jarring, but then it could be said that the magic/science nerd was intended, but if it was, I can’t say that it was well-established in the story.

If anything though, I feel like Roland doesn’t react enough when situations are out of his hands. Just like Claudia’s bulb poofing out because of the I’M NOT AT THE CENTER OF ATTENTION syndrome. This lack of humanely reactions when witnessing godly shit can get jarring and I feel detached from the character immediately. It’s so common in DoT characters when they’re mostly humans despite being mages at the end of the day. Just because you’re behind a monitor doesn’t mean your character is behind a monitor; show some life in them.

I tried to keep him out of those shit in Act 5 and then in Act 6 he just became the lifeless observer, especially in that event with Jesus, and to some extent in the Victoria scene. Yeah, I get it, you were that prepared guy in the latter event, but a thoughtless prepared man doesn’t usually exist, thoughts occur almost constantly.

Honestly, it just makes me want to cut them out from certain events in the future if they want to not be there at all, but then the characters themselves always show interest in shit, so that’s a bit confusing. Do you want to be there or not in the end? If your character shows interest, keep that shit consistent. If you don’t wanna react to shit, make your character never want to go in the first place, that’ll make this easier for me.

That’s the real issue at times, portrayal. It’s not just about his scenes that portrays his stuff. Every lines are getting you out there, and the moment you give up your opportunity to flesh out even that stunned moment of your character, you’re giving up that moment in which they existed in. Don’t just assume readers will know Roland is stunned. No, they’ll forget him. If people forgets him when the big events are happening, that just means he doesn’t mean shit in the big picture. That may not change immediately even if you diligently respond to every given part, but every step count. Let his memories of the reactions turn into something he can look back to. That’ll be a really important experience for him one day.

Otherwise, Roland is a really simple yet good character. As for the waifu prospects, looking seriously bad.

To be honest, I don’t see you agreeing with me, and I don’t think I care, but if you want to take my advice, keep working on portraying the character more, Tito.

Coming down to our real redhead that isn’t tumblr-chan, we have Kaitlyn.

Starting out as an Enforcer, I’ve had several ideas that I could use to give an image of what kind of an Organization the Royal Council actually was. These were some that I thought of for Aramus originally, but never got the chance to play out. Maybe if we do a flashback Enforcer arc for Kaitlyn’s past, or if player joined earlier, I’d have time to work them out. Alas, I didn’t have the time to indulge my ideas, since when the player joined, Aramus was already around the revolution event scene itself, so I knew that I had to get Kaitlyn up to the latest shit.

Honestly, I still question myself how things would’ve went if I didn’t put Kaitlyn into the revolution stuff, since one of the other ideas was her missing out on the event and ending up serving the new Royal Council replacing the old managing staff, which would put her against Princess Louise in a different manner, and then bring to light what really happened to her old colleague there. I don’t really regret this, though. Princes Leopold happened, Elizabeth happened. She was pretty much the first femMC of sorts that I could take seriously, and she started on getting a manfu so early, but it wasn’t necessarily rushed, either.

One of the good sides of Kaitlyn is similar to why I like some of the other PCs—her nature to get involved with various situations.

Prince Leopold was a bit forced, but I could see the moral values and loyalty that led her to it. The Crystal Paladin stuff was made really memorable due to their fight. Then we have the journey in the Faerie Realm, the Nadir Cave, barking with June, and whatnot, it really felt like an adventure to me, and it wasn’t a drag for me unlike Roland’s journey in the Faerie Realm, even if it was longer.

And oh yes, I’m perfectly glad to inject salt into her veins with Princess Beatrice’s hijinks with Prince Leopold. Things would only get deeper from here on out. I needed to build her motivation to go against the current Royal order because of the arc coming in Act 7.

There isn’t much I can say about personality, she’s as redheaded as it may get. Fierce, hot-headed, brave enough to argue with Titania without being told to shut the fuck up, and another to have stupid levels of persistence, effectively joining the club with everyone except Claudia and Svetlana. I feel like most of her emotions were explored just about enough, even her romantic ones. Hell, even her regrets and sorrows, like that time she was beaten up behind her house.

However, when I saw the personality with Alina and Zana, I started to question the validity of Kaitlyn’s personality. Is this the true Kaitlyn we’re supposed to know? Or just a perceived redhead ported from some fantasy world that was already done before? Alina lacked the cheerfulness implied by her image, but at least Kaitlyn held the image of a woman with Temperate Flaw from hers. Perhaps if she indeed is a copy, she certainly had developed enough to differentiate from them, but perhaps not enough to be considered her own character entirely, as I feel a sliver of those other characters in her at her core.

Recently, her lines has been getting less and less reactive, and delving more on the safe side so as not to provoke a reaction from another character, player needs to stop holding her back in that manner. We can adapt the scenes to her needs. I really like Kaitlyn because she reacts under my expectations usually, so that was a bit disappointing for me personally, but I can understand that player’s new RP is putting pressure on him for now. But this is literally her greatest strength, because Kaitlyn feels like a believable character, and none of the personality traits are overdone, but not under-done either.

In the end, I want to take Kaitlyn down the path of Maria and Barclay, and I think you’ll agree with me there.

So keep going strong, D, I’m rooting for our little Kait.

Now, if we really do have any readers who hasn’t really told us that they read this RP, they’d know that this is the true character of flaws. Claudia is incomparable to this. There are more fundamental issues than technical emotion hijinks interrupting the character. This will get long so either get popcorns or abort mission.

Alright, so first off, it doesn’t help that player didn’t show up enough or didn’t respond whenever I asked for Svetlana lines early in the story. In Act 1, she had one mission with Kazimir and Weiss, both of whom sorta did their own shit while she did her job. There was some interactions with Lily and it was a great avenue to introduce her and build upon her character a bit, but it was strange. It felt like Svetlana was forcing her kindness upon her. Regardless, shit works out, so it’s all good, but then that was all of Act 1 for Svetlana. That’s right, player was absent for months upon months (he was hanging around in a certain chat all the while, not even informing me of his situation). So, I was sitting there waiting for last line of Svetlana for months, before deciding to force the scene close myself.

Enter Act 2, I get a bit more time to work with the player for Svetlana. Feels slow. Really slow, not to mention that player starts showing up while I’m already halfway into the Act. It’s not even like he was a really busy guy. I decide to cut it short to not create unnecessary delays for other PCs. We were on tight schedule with them. That was the right choice now that I think back, nothing much more could be done, so Svetlana just joins the staff of the Eastern Magic Academy before it opens up after it was enjoying a brief close-down period for the Queen’s Meeting.

There were a few parts that jarred me about Svetlana already by this point. She just doesn’t wanna take any Magic World based events into mind just because has only heard of them and has never taken part in them. Some may know that she has a penchant for going to new places later on? However, you’d find no sign of that here. It’s actually very painfully rational how she thinks at first. Always based on what she needs rather than what she may want. That’s what made her hollow, she had no particular want in her heart.

Regardless, I got to introduce Duchess Alicia. She was one of the early characters to hold significance. I had a strong concept of her even though it was something I took out from one of my vivid dreams (including Isabelle).

Act 3, Svetlana takes a super huge liking to Isabelle and starts treating her like a “little sister.” To be honest, that felt slightly OOC to me, just like player liked Isabelle for her tsuntsun tendency so she started trying to make her into some lolita imouto shite from some weird animu. Not a fan of the troupe. Whatever. Moving on, Alicia recognized her for becoming such an important deal to their family, as Svetlana was also helping Isabelle come to terms with Alicia, with whom she had many issues with due to the past.

Things kinda get better, enough for me to start to forgive Svetlana for her weirdness.

Shit happens, Svetlana is to protect Natsu in an event, and that’s where shit goes down. Player wants to keep 3 other players waiting because he wants to write once every 10-30 minutes since he wants to multitask or something shit. Gets on my nerves, I roast him, he tells me to find a replacement player for his trashy character. I say fuck it and take over myself. Who the fuck finds a replacement player for something like that? I think around this moment, I don’t realize that the player has potentially developed a personal gripe against Claudia and was possibly intentionally delaying the responses in the first place.

I don’t give a shit and keep going.

For a while, Svetlana becomes a much more realistic character, if I say so myself. The part with Alicia’s death and beyond have some realism in them. Great. She gained a motive, to avenge her foster parent Alicia. I thought this finally cemented her place in the grand scheme of things. A point from which Svetlana’s great crusade would begin from which she’d plot to destroy her enemy, Virgo, even if it was foolish, even if it was futile—she’d persevere for this filled her soul with hatred, especially after accepting the contract with the demon of Isabelle.

Oh how foolish I was.

Act 4 finally rolls in after a wait of long three months. Everyone was supposedly hyped. I knew I was. The player comes back too. I figured he’d have cooled down and offered him to resume the role of Svetlana. I did not think he’d have such an issue over having to read Svetlana’s parts that I’d written. A few scenes in and player is already claiming that he’s struggling with the edginess Svetlana is supposed to display because of the demon she has. Uh, okay, her passive aggressive shit was more than enough already.

Next, I’m told the fact that he didn’t wrote for Svetlana for ¾ of the Act was also making him slip up with her. That was the iceberg of the bullshit that started with this character.

Her edge was displayed just fine throughout the Act. She didn’t really need to be “edgy” like some goth niglord, but just needed show sufficient hatred for Virgo and to a lesser extent, most of other things, and that was fine. Statue of Liberty fight was cool, and then Svetlana goes too far and puts the meteor out. That was kinda a-okay from my perspective since she should be reckless due to her hatred and demonic stuff inside her head.

It got a bit irritating when she started harping on the obvious that betrayed the personality we saw in Act 1-3, when Aramus fucked up and forgot to tell everyone about the Commandments of Virgo he knew of. This problem kept repeating in other times later. Hell, it reappeared in Diadem RP. I’m not sure if that’s just something the player likes to do, being the captain obvious when something looks bad.

Okay, that’s a bit off-topic, but this shit was kind of an eyesore. Which I didn’t notice till Aramus’ player tells me. But that was only the start. When Lily died by Virgo’s hand, literally giving Svetlana the plot armor, I’m blamed again. GG. She loses the only cue to figuring out her so-called friend’s past, and then player just assumes I wouldn’t kill her off without sufficient development or something. That expectation was against my principles grounded on realism. Anyone may die any time, and especially in Virgo’s arc, hundreds were dead already. I didn’t personally have a problem, it just meant more salt for Svetlana. Something I’ve been meaning to build in that Act.

You’d think after all this, Svetlana would have infinite salt towards Virgo—her blood literally boiling at every instance she’s brought up. Nop. This would be forgotten by player over time.

Act 4 omake, Svetlana is allowed to become a Duchess for the security of Isabelle’s future and as a part of a deal with Jesus the Queen makes, as well as a reconciliation with her own past mistakes with the deceased Alicia. Svetlana doesn’t really know why she’s chosen, and keeps questioning herself why she’s chosen. Oh and yeah, she annoys Isabelle a lot because she expects Isabelle to just go along with her whims. She fails to take care of her where it counts eventually.

Every single mistake Svetlana made as a Duchess were mostly unintended, especially in social cases. Every time her conduct and behavior were done with perfection that I had to look for ways to poke at with NPCs because I thought it was only natural for Svetlana to make mistakes as a Duchess who lacked the upbringing, but it was strange. It was like she was suddenly getting into the role without really understanding most of it, even though her excuses for known mistakes were just that, lack of proper upbringing. Now that I think about it, it was most prevalent in the earlier part of Royalty’s ball scene. This was the earliest sign I can remember of the perfectionist thing player was doing with the character to protect her from being laughed at, both by players and readers and other NPCs. This overprotectiveness will probably last till the end of Svetlana’s life, I think.

By this time, I’ve been blamed repeated for issues that stemmed from none other than himself. Svetlana’s lack of contents for Act 1 and 2, and then the thing about him not able to “connect” himself to Svetlana because he didn’t write for most of the stuff that went down with Svetlana in Act 3. Big fucking deal, most of the shit that happened worked in general accordance to her character, so we were essentially digging deeper into the iceberg of bullshit. It definitely didn’t end there, though. Apparently, Act 4 omake contents that spanned for roughly 300 pages more because of Svetlana was completely deserved because of a lack of contents earlier. Gee, I wonder who was either slow or not showing up back in Act 1 or 2, but the way I’m told that it “wasn’t enough” was grating on my soul.

Anyone would notice by now that this is becoming more than just about the character, it’s becoming a problem with the player. That’s right, this character is actively fucked over by the player. I do admit it, I could’ve forced more content down the player’s throat in the past, but would that make either of us content? Of course not.

In the majority of Act 5 events, Svetlana was subject to Princess Louise’s whims due to the blackmail material she had over her and more importantly, her sister Isabelle. Svetlana had this attitude as if she had any choice in the matter at all. She kept being selfish despite her supposed little sister’s compromised security, to the point she refused to attack a target she and Michael were supposed to assassinate. This spoke volumes about Svetlana’s personality and her lack of professionalism. It made me her background that stated that she worked for the Soviet as a Rider. Basically, a mercenary. In the process of fucking up a mission, she loses Michael’s respect that was a given in the past.

This also made me notice that Svetlana has a limited attention span with what’s important to her, and with time I was very much convinced of it. Big Sister Mathilde was long forgotten from Act 3 onwards and was sparsely thought of. Isabelle was easily compromised from blackmail as we know already. We later learn that Svetlana’s memory problem made her doubt whether her supposed “real” mother liked her or not—that made me think about how shallow she was, since it appeared to imply that she wasn’t gonna love her “real” mother if she didn’t love her. So, conditional love basically. The one thing that seemed to hold fine was her devotion to Alicia, the foster mother.

What it appeared to me was that Svetlana grew really fruitful relationships, but then forgot their values, and soon, she forgot her rage to Virgo as well, who took away some of these invaluable relationships to begin with.

Act 6 starts with Svetlana’s regrets and finding out Isabelle fell into danger, after all. There was a bit of metagaming going on when Julia the Battle Maid was chosen (he sees the chat and quickly adds her name into a dialogue where Svetlana picks the maids). Julia was getting along with her at first, but what she manages to do with perfection was to piss her off in the guise of trying to tease. Teasing isn’t actively pushing on someone’s sore spot. That shit with Leon and the brother mystery was very obviously making her uncomfortable after it was made evident that Julia had a relationship with him. Even after Julia rejected the conversation, Svetlana only sighs and considers when to bring it up again. Seriously?

All kinds of shit happens. She kills a Bohemian lady off with Starlight Lost Form in her home, and then the shit with her memory happens. From there, Svetlana lost herself further, and I still don’t know what player wants to do with her character, especially after losing direction by lowering hatred of Virgo. There was a lot of efforts to explore her character but they went in circles and when NPCs did came around to help develop the character, she shuts them out herself.

My real problem was that she immediately sought counsel from some shady spirit of the forest that trolled her, instead of a wise and intelligent Princess of Wales in Ireland, but even Svetlana’s involvement in Ireland felt very metagame-y. I mentioned in passing that a quest to become a Royal Princess existed in Ireland in a Skype call, and then a NPC said some rare potion ingredients exist. Boom, Svetlana goes at first given excuse, leaving her little sister behind almost unnecessarily, again.

In the end, we see perhaps the worst of Svetlana in this Act, as her line for the trial of mental fortitude was changed over and over again just to succeed, again going down the metagaming route, losing the trial regardless due to her flawed and biased opinion on what a ruler should be like. Honestly, her philosophy and mindset is another can of worms, and we can first find this in her meeting with Ishtar. Basically, she only sees her own reason, and cannot begin to comprehend any other. She lives inside a crystal ball, essentially, as everything else outside are completely separate from her.

Like some other characters, I also had the issue of reactions with Svetlana. Other players at least try, but Svetlana’s player is extremely selective on what she takes interest in, and whom. If it’s a PC and he doesn’t appreciate that character for some reason, no reactions would be given (and questions would be ignored), which is extremely vexing after some point, as Roland and Claudia are almost always conveniently ignored when they do cool feats. I see some half-baked response to godly stuff at least, but I don’t see where the hate/bias comes from with these PCs. Hell, if you can’t pay attention to a character just because you don’t like them, that’s already telling us something extremely flawed about this character.

Her selfishness for her liberty goes up even higher now, out of nowhere. In the past, she swore she’d do anything to safeguard Isabelle’s future to Duchess Alicia. After the memory hijinks, she’s back to self-centered moments. She was told that her Infernal nature will make her go berserk in roughly two years of time, and that the only way to avoid this is to become a Representative. She decides to go for it by making herself very unappealing. Essentially, she wanted to be able to do whatever she wanted and somehow miraculously keep Isabelle safe by doing nothing for her and be able to travel freely and also gain Princess title in Ireland while failing to be a proper Duchess… that’s one fucking tall order, Svetlana.

The icing on the cake was that she had no intention to actually represent a Descendant, she just wanted to look for a middle ground with King Arthur. It’s not that easy. You’re not the prize they seek, they’re the prize you seek.

Recently, I find that she also behaves very strangely with characters she hardly knows; in particular, she just automatically hates them to some extent. There’s no real hate expressed, but it’s present in the writing itself. I don’t know why this happens, but it’s a given that she lacks tack, especially towards a Princess like Victoria. The fact that she was making her upset was a new low even for her, but perhaps this can still be explained due to her slowly moving over to Infernal berserk shite.

Each and every lines are also seemingly trying to over-justify themselves, with dialogues making narratives redundant, and I think just everyone that read any part of Svetlana knows that the writing itself is soulless, and there’s no true effort to improve it aside from the editors just glossing over at this point.

We can’t make shit nice by sprinkling on them. There isn’t much more to say, but this is one hell of a screw-up of a character. It had potential at first, and I was honestly hoping she’d become something great when I made her a new noble. I don’t know what I was thinking, but it’s a waste of a good plot arc. Hundreds of pages hardly helped develop her character.

So, yeah. Svetlana is a lost cause, and this was a rant, Katsu.

Gonna start off talking about Svetlana. If you read the GM's thoughts on all the characters, you know that he basically hates her, and that hate's not unfounded. I do not completely hate her. As I think the GM also mentioned, she has (or had) potential to be a good character. I think there's a good character in there somewhere, but she's bogged down by bad writing. This isn't a jab at the character's player; that's just what I would argue is objectively the case with Svetlana. I'd say by far the biggest offender with the quality of writing is what happens with the NPC Abigail.

Svetlana has flaws, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean that there are things about her character that keep her from being a perfect person, which is a good thing. We hate perfect people. Because of these flaws, it's believable that she would do something like hold another person against her will to keep her from spreading bad news about her and then subsequently kill her when a plan to wipe her memory doesn't work--despite the fact that she's ultimately a good person. We all make shitty mistakes, especially when there's pressure. What makes this moment fall completely flat is that Svetlana shows almost no remorse for her actions and completely forgets about it soon after. It isn't very long after it happens that she acts as if it never occurred. I don't have to stress how serious of an action she took by holding an innocent person against her will and then killing her. However, it has no affect on Svetlana as a character. What the hell?

Soon after this mess with Abigail, Svetlana makes a decision based on flimsy reasoning. The GM suspects the player wanted to go to a place that would provide an opportunity for his character to get cool stuff and forced her to go regardless of in-story reasons of why she shouldn't go. That could be the case. It could also be however the player legit thought the decision Svetlana makes is completely within character. If that is the case, it wasn't conveyed properly. Poor writing once again ruins this moment.

Moving on from Svetlana, Aramus has a hilarious moment where he runs into Jack the Ripper in and underground torture chamber. I thought an intense fight was about to happen. Instead, Jack goes, "Please leave," and Aramus is just like, "'k." While I was amused, I can't help but question if he would really let a notorious serial killer go after witnessing her handiwork in person. Aramus isn't a super white knight/defender of all that is sacred, but based on his past actions, I really feel like it's out of character for him to just ignore a serial killer like that. It's true that he's on an urgent mission, but it wasn't like he only had minutes to complete it.

Chronologically after that (I read this before the Ripper scene), Aramus has a scene really pivotal to the plot where he and the Queen discover the secret weapon Japan has. The mission they undertake to destroy it was hyped up to be exceedingly dangerous even for a Descendant like the Queen, and this sequence doesn't disappoint. It goes to shit and ends with the Queen being consumed by the weapon (which raises several more questions that I'm looking forward to finding the answers to).

There was quite a bit of content for my own character that I read over this time as well, stretching back to stuff that was written over 10 months ago (holy shit, it doesn't feel like it's been that long). I had a ton of fun working with the GM on a plot arc that involves Kait going to a foreign realm (the Faerie Realm), which plays out like a travel story.

Then there's all of Kait's interactions with her mentors, Leopold and Victoria. I feel like she plays off with them both very well. Kait and Leopold are very like-minded, but the class difference and Kait's hot-headedness vs Leopold's much more level-headedness mean they don't always agree. When he becomes the object of Kait's affection, it adds another fun level to their relationship. Well, fun for me, not so fun for her. Kait's relationship to Victoria is similar to Leopold minus the attraction. On top of that, she has a sense of fun that sometimes mixes well with Kait and other times, it makes her go 'hell no' which was also amusing for me to read.

One single event that happens to Kait this act that's pretty significant is she finally gets to meet her parents. Sort of. They're kind of dead when she finally gets an opportunity to return home. I'd been joking for some time prior to this scene that her parents would die in some horrific away. I honestly can't say I was too surprised when it happened, but there's a reason I call it significant. I think it has a big impact on her character, and I hope I've done a decent job portraying that so far.

Last but not least, there's Roland. He's come a long way from starting out as a puny nerd. Though not in the stuff I read, he really held his own weight in recent battles in stuff that's being written right now.

He has another run-in with Pisces, the character who just might be the girl who makes him 'become a man' (i.e. get laid). I'm rooting for you, Roland. In seriousness, I sympathize with Pisces' situation. I'm not quite sure how she ended up in it, whether it was due to her own choices or it was forced on her, but it's clearly not what's best for her. Regardless of whether or not Roland decides to pursue any romantic interests with her, I'm rooting for him to save her from the Japanese government.

I really enjoyed the scene with him getting in over his head in Dering Woods and getting completely lost.

To be honest, there's something that's always felt off for me for Roland. I have no idea what it is, but there's just something about him that keeps him from being a great character in my opinion (though it doesn't make him a bad character). The recent stuff that I read didn't change that for me.

I take back a lot of what I said about Aramus. He was one of the best PCs of the Descendants of Time and he was main character material, but it doesn’t feel that way anymore.

I’ve tried to kinda ignore it for a while, but it continually made its mark whenever Aramus would go cold in many big scenes with a few big NPCs talking. I do understand that when Aramus was created, this was an intended part of his personality. Aramus was meant to be that underdog type of guy who’d not speak up due to the differences in social stature. I liked it in the sense that it shows his plebness (not in a sarcastic way).

However, bear in mind how we’re in Act 6’s Extras—and all the plot events and character developments Aramus has had—and even then he doesn’t grow out of this habit. I was even discussing with the player how Aramus might go for the so-called military general type guy for the Queen in a bid to serve under her, but all of that is moot if Aramus freezes up in every big scenes with several characters on the room.

After all this time, there’s been this streak of strange inconsistencies where he’ll speak up—and speak normally—and then he’d rather listen. To be honest, this isn’t truly about talking per se, this is more about reactions. I’ve talked about this in my posts detailing my opinions on all PCs, and the strongest issue I’ve had with Aramus were reactions.

See, this isn’t the actual novel writing. This is a roleplay. I could go about the conversation scenes in other ways in a novel, but in a roleplay, I just want the players to feel, interact, and react to the things going on; it leaves something for me to work with in the future, which will likely help a whole fuck ton, by the way. I’m not going to remember every single detail of how X character feels but the player doesn’t write it since he finds this insignificant.

Small answer is: it isn't.

That’s my beef with Aramus at the moment, and when I point it out time and time again, they go glum. I’m not shitting on our friendship or anything, dude, but maybe he’ll understand my frustration after I’m forced to continually yank emotions from Aramus with the plot directly. From the imprisonment of the Queen to Lancelot, to the fall of the Hour Glass in his vision, and he still doesn’t grow in character?

What the actual flying frack?

You have to understand, Aramus’ lines have no strong depiction of his emotions—when he is supposed to be the most emotional character among the PC cast. It’s not a fucking joke; after all the shit I threw at this guy, he just doesn’t feel any different. There are only a few awkward moments, but the worst offender has been since the World of Glass. I don’t know, I was excited, you know? I thought Aramus was gonna have like these moments where he’d flip out for no reason from stress or fear. He even has this Flaw that has the ticking time, there was never a clear indication of him taking action with that in mind.

I have to write every fucking thing about how Aramus should feel fear or a certain rush, and often I’d find the player carrying on as normal as though I didn’t write the fucking narrative at all.

What the shit is the point of the plot if the characters won’t develop off them?

After all the mindfuckery you’re telling me Aramus is now used to them? Have some tact, dawg. You’re not only shitting on my work but kind of insulting every other characters in the scenes. I don’t attribute it to a tiredness, it’s just a thoughtlessness, and if you get riled up over that being called out by claiming “not everything needs to be addressed,” then I can only think that you forgot what roleplaying is all about—it’s about addressing the world that your character is on. If this was a novel and your character was just not part of 90% of the scene (which was the case with what’s causing this rant), then what the fuck is the point in the end?

Why are you even the MC anymore?

Don’t you realize your character CAN’T be that invisible background character anymore?

He needs to grow the hell up. He needs to be able to talk normally to people now. He needs to be that guy who takes more initiative.

I was seeing some of that in the World of Glass, but that was more action than words, and he’s been doing that for a longer time than you may account for (pretty much every case with Queen, that’s been established long ago). But no, you sigh and think man, Rice being Rice again.

It isn’t that simple.

We humans are complicated creatures.

It’s not like Aramus is shy. Hell, he talks about Svetlana normally, so what gives with the more other important shit? Will Aramus forever be like this? He can't be the underdog for-fucking-ever. He needs to grow into that military leader figure. He can’t be that man in a single day later. It doesn’t work like that. Every part of the plot is supposed to mount him up to it, but I don’t feel even a single emotional difference in Aramus now.

He even got a new fucking Flaw about his fears, but nop. NEVER an effort to weave them into the writing.

I might as well make Kaitlyn or Roland the new main characters, but I digress, after two years of efforts and lots and lots waiting periods each weeks and then getting nothing much in return—I’m just butthurt I guess. But that’s wrong, right? Because every fucking time I criticize, someone will jump to his cover. IT’S FINE IF IT’S HIM, NOT FINE IF IT’S KAT. They’re making the same goddamn mistakes, guys. One is a shitty writer, and the other is a great guy, but that doesn’t excuse him one bit.

I expected too much of this character. Yeah, you bet I did. He is just an unemotionally emotional character, whatever that is.

I give up.

I’ll play my part and wrap this RP up and move on, since my opinions are clearly unappreciated. So I’ll shut the fuck up when this is all over. Hopefully we can cover the rest of the acts by 2019 or else this project might be doomed to be unfinished.

Reading's good for you. Read it!