My virginity is killing me!
0
Mr.Everwood
will see you now ;)
So, as you've probably guessed, I'm a virgin and I hate it.
I'm one of those people who never got the hang of socialising, I've been alone and isolated throughout much of my life. Never really had any friends, or romantic relationships. So of course I've never had sex, and now I'm 23 years old.
I guess that makes me a stereotypical hentai reader. However, the stereotype also goes that people like me gets all their sexual needs met by simply fapping to hentai. I've discovered that's not the case, all it does is making me hungry for the real thing. Yet I can't stop reading it, because I can't control my sexual urges, so even if I take a break I'll get back to it eventually.
My hatred of my own virginity is being built up piece by piece, and I'm afraid of what it might turn me into. Many men like me end up becoming misogynists because they delude themselves that women reject them. This leads them to do all sorts of terrible things like sexual harassment, stalking, rape, meeting prostitutes, maybe even murder. I can't go around and keep a lid on this forever, I don't want to end up becoming a man who's idea of an ideal world is one where all women are his slaves.
But I have no idea how to fix this problem. People always say: get laid. But how? I mean, you can't just go around and have sex with people you barely know right? And isn't it wrong to socialise with women just so you can have sex with them? So what do people mean when they say get laid? And how is someone like me, who has no idea how to navigate the social landscape, supposed to get laid? It just doesn't come naturally to me. It doesn't help that Tinder is completely useless in fixing me up, nobody wants to talk despite having signed up for a service where you're supposed to talk, and then meet.
I just keep seeing beautiful women all around me, and it hurts that they're all out of my league.
Any advice?
I'm one of those people who never got the hang of socialising, I've been alone and isolated throughout much of my life. Never really had any friends, or romantic relationships. So of course I've never had sex, and now I'm 23 years old.
I guess that makes me a stereotypical hentai reader. However, the stereotype also goes that people like me gets all their sexual needs met by simply fapping to hentai. I've discovered that's not the case, all it does is making me hungry for the real thing. Yet I can't stop reading it, because I can't control my sexual urges, so even if I take a break I'll get back to it eventually.
My hatred of my own virginity is being built up piece by piece, and I'm afraid of what it might turn me into. Many men like me end up becoming misogynists because they delude themselves that women reject them. This leads them to do all sorts of terrible things like sexual harassment, stalking, rape, meeting prostitutes, maybe even murder. I can't go around and keep a lid on this forever, I don't want to end up becoming a man who's idea of an ideal world is one where all women are his slaves.
But I have no idea how to fix this problem. People always say: get laid. But how? I mean, you can't just go around and have sex with people you barely know right? And isn't it wrong to socialise with women just so you can have sex with them? So what do people mean when they say get laid? And how is someone like me, who has no idea how to navigate the social landscape, supposed to get laid? It just doesn't come naturally to me. It doesn't help that Tinder is completely useless in fixing me up, nobody wants to talk despite having signed up for a service where you're supposed to talk, and then meet.
I just keep seeing beautiful women all around me, and it hurts that they're all out of my league.
Any advice?
0
animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
Visit a brothel. Or just talk to people. Dudes think it hard to just talk to a girl, get the digits and either bang it out in the back seat or a date. Trust me. Even ugly dweebs can talk to a chick and get that social contact that dating becomes. Are you gotta get supermodel level girls... depends if your bank account has 6 zeros. Im not being a male asshole about that point. The majority of 10 level women under 28 are only interested it that level of success for the short term.
Confidence. Just socialize. I know. I HATE social functions. Im a total anti social person. But i learned in my preteens to just suck it up and just talk. Just find a moderate attractive girl and just say hello and be confident with your first goal of making her smile. Don't think of sex and just focus on a simple conversation and if she wants your companionship then well go with the flow and go on her lead.
Not sure why you think your not worthy to meet a girl and spurt some gravy, but nothing is out of the question. Plenty ugly/fat/small penis/dweebs/nerds/shy/emotionally stunted dudes pull plenty of ass. Just be yourself and don't fear the rejection. Not all women are the same. If you can have a nice conversation with a woman pass ten mins increases your chances by two. Women have a biological imperative to mate with a compatible male with in a few mins. A throw back from our primate eras. It's not the best since it's based on the best progeny and not romance. Just be yourself because it a girl isn't into you nothing you can do will change it. You just have to hit and miss until that one girl takes a chance with you.
Also virginity isn't a crutch for stalking, rape and murder. Only those types of people use their sexual dysfunction as an excuse for being a rapist or a murderer.
Confidence. Just socialize. I know. I HATE social functions. Im a total anti social person. But i learned in my preteens to just suck it up and just talk. Just find a moderate attractive girl and just say hello and be confident with your first goal of making her smile. Don't think of sex and just focus on a simple conversation and if she wants your companionship then well go with the flow and go on her lead.
Not sure why you think your not worthy to meet a girl and spurt some gravy, but nothing is out of the question. Plenty ugly/fat/small penis/dweebs/nerds/shy/emotionally stunted dudes pull plenty of ass. Just be yourself and don't fear the rejection. Not all women are the same. If you can have a nice conversation with a woman pass ten mins increases your chances by two. Women have a biological imperative to mate with a compatible male with in a few mins. A throw back from our primate eras. It's not the best since it's based on the best progeny and not romance. Just be yourself because it a girl isn't into you nothing you can do will change it. You just have to hit and miss until that one girl takes a chance with you.
Also virginity isn't a crutch for stalking, rape and murder. Only those types of people use their sexual dysfunction as an excuse for being a rapist or a murderer.
0
Well buddy, I don't really know what to tell you since I am not a master of the pussy game myself, but I guess it really depends on what you want. I have never sought out sex outside of the context of a romantic relationship, but nowadays it seems like it would be easier than getting a decent date. I imagine that hanging around the bars in a nearby college town would be a good choice since there is a large pool of slutty college women available there. Just don't start fucking blitzed chicks or anything, that's not a good idea. Alcohol and sex don't really mix that well in my opinion.
Alternatively you could go after the coffee shop hipster crowd. No consent issues there and coffee is cheaper than girly mixed drinks. Biggest problem there is that I'm pretty sure nobody goes to a coffee shop to meet people, they usually go to stare at their macbook screens.
You could also just try and make friends with some females. They are people too and friendships have been the launch-points for all of my romantic relationships in the past. I've never once been pleased with a date with a stranger. I don't know where to meet people though. I went through about a year after graduation with no new friends or anything until I finally found a couple at work. Also, once you establish yourself as being friendly and knowing people, other folks will be more likely to talk to you as well.
Also why would there be something wrong with socializing with women for sex? Like, if you don't want to do it that's fine, but there's really nothing inherently wrong with wanting someone for their body. Sure people bitch about it, but that is their choice and has no bearing on what's right and wrong. If someone wants to act like you have disrespected them somehow by finding them attractive, good for them!
And finally, Tinder is not actually for talking with people, it's for getting laid. Make your intentions more blatant on your profile and take a flattering picture of yourself. Make yourself available as DTF and you'll be good according to me, who has never used Tinder at all. I do have a somewhat attractive acquaintance who be fuckin' dem Tinder girls on a bi-weekly basis though.
Alternatively you could go after the coffee shop hipster crowd. No consent issues there and coffee is cheaper than girly mixed drinks. Biggest problem there is that I'm pretty sure nobody goes to a coffee shop to meet people, they usually go to stare at their macbook screens.
You could also just try and make friends with some females. They are people too and friendships have been the launch-points for all of my romantic relationships in the past. I've never once been pleased with a date with a stranger. I don't know where to meet people though. I went through about a year after graduation with no new friends or anything until I finally found a couple at work. Also, once you establish yourself as being friendly and knowing people, other folks will be more likely to talk to you as well.
Also why would there be something wrong with socializing with women for sex? Like, if you don't want to do it that's fine, but there's really nothing inherently wrong with wanting someone for their body. Sure people bitch about it, but that is their choice and has no bearing on what's right and wrong. If someone wants to act like you have disrespected them somehow by finding them attractive, good for them!
And finally, Tinder is not actually for talking with people, it's for getting laid. Make your intentions more blatant on your profile and take a flattering picture of yourself. Make yourself available as DTF and you'll be good according to me, who has never used Tinder at all. I do have a somewhat attractive acquaintance who be fuckin' dem Tinder girls on a bi-weekly basis though.
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Hello
I have no experience with sex, or finding a girl. But what i do know is that you have to be happy, if you have hobby's and you go to workshops. I think you find something eventually, i dont socialize much because i have a problem with pissing in public. I know sound stupid but believe me, after a long time you get crushed by the hole thing.
Also dont make yourself crazy with the idea i need to lose my virginity, or i need a girlfriend it will come when it comes.
If you play games much never forget that its socializing to, the downside of it is that you cannot see who you talking to
Always remember barneys words never stick your in crazy
I have no experience with sex, or finding a girl. But what i do know is that you have to be happy, if you have hobby's and you go to workshops. I think you find something eventually, i dont socialize much because i have a problem with pissing in public. I know sound stupid but believe me, after a long time you get crushed by the hole thing.
Also dont make yourself crazy with the idea i need to lose my virginity, or i need a girlfriend it will come when it comes.
If you play games much never forget that its socializing to, the downside of it is that you cannot see who you talking to
Always remember barneys words never stick your in crazy
0
Until 6 months ago I was a virgin myself and I felt the same way too. I was dying to have sex as soon as I could, however this had been going on for a long time. I am 34 so at the time I was 33. I tired to have it in college but I never even got to more than kissing and this was due to how shy I was when it came to the opposite sex. I went to college parties with the sole intention of having sex and never could. However, now that I have had sex and wishing I knew what I did back then. I think too many people put a huge thing on the whole virgin label. When you have sex the first time, it is going to be awful. I was so nervous at the time that I had a very hard time at getting hard. It wasn't until almost a month later that I got confirmable with my girlfriend and could have great sex.
I did online dating (which is where I met my current g/f) and met her offline. We had real chemistry and things just happened. I had done online dating for years and just strike out. Part of the reason was because I was a fault for being the so called "nice guy" which honestly makes me sound dirty just think about it. Do not do the whole "friends first then girlfriend later" it never works and you seem like a creep. From the first time you meet someone, have to make your intentions clear. Communication is the key to everything.
I did online dating (which is where I met my current g/f) and met her offline. We had real chemistry and things just happened. I had done online dating for years and just strike out. Part of the reason was because I was a fault for being the so called "nice guy" which honestly makes me sound dirty just think about it. Do not do the whole "friends first then girlfriend later" it never works and you seem like a creep. From the first time you meet someone, have to make your intentions clear. Communication is the key to everything.
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Sometimes a boy just needs a man-maker to make them realize they're men, not to be sexist but you are a man, act like one. Tough it out. Don't cling to much with your expectations of your "first encounter". Get a man-maker asap, in any way you possibly can, in any shape or size, paid or not. just get rid of that wall blocking you. allow yourself release from these neverending prison of anxiety. if you know what I mean.
Do I /really/ have to spell it out?
*Sigh*
Get a prostitute.
Wear rubber.
End this once and for all.
Be free and everything else will follow.
Goodluck, my friend.
- a man who has seen the otherside.
p.s. you can also try anonymous chats (Omegle, chatroulette, tinder, hell even Craigslist), beware of creepy old dudes and STDs. Just get it over with even fatties count. Then never see them again and start your new life.
Do I /really/ have to spell it out?
*Sigh*
Get a prostitute.
Wear rubber.
End this once and for all.
Be free and everything else will follow.
Goodluck, my friend.
- a man who has seen the otherside.
p.s. you can also try anonymous chats (Omegle, chatroulette, tinder, hell even Craigslist), beware of creepy old dudes and STDs. Just get it over with even fatties count. Then never see them again and start your new life.
0
lmao. Real sex is nothing like hentai. I honestly wouldn't even let it bother you. But yeah, if you feel like you need it to move on in life then push passed your own awkwardness and either go for it or cough up some cash. Both options will always exist, so long as you're willing to take em.
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Mr.Everwood wrote...
So, as you've probably guessed, I'm a virgin and I hate it.I'm one of those people who never got the hang of socialising, I've been alone and isolated throughout much of my life. Never really had any friends, or romantic relationships. So of course I've never had sex, and now I'm 23 years old.
I guess that makes me a stereotypical hentai reader. However, the stereotype also goes that people like me gets all their sexual needs met by simply fapping to hentai. I've discovered that's not the case, all it does is making me hungry for the real thing. Yet I can't stop reading it, because I can't control my sexual urges, so even if I take a break I'll get back to it eventually.
My hatred of my own virginity is being built up piece by piece, and I'm afraid of what it might turn me into. Many men like me end up becoming misogynists because they delude themselves that women reject them. This leads them to do all sorts of terrible things like sexual harassment, stalking, rape, meeting prostitutes, maybe even murder. I can't go around and keep a lid on this forever, I don't want to end up becoming a man who's idea of an ideal world is one where all women are his slaves.
But I have no idea how to fix this problem. People always say: get laid. But how? I mean, you can't just go around and have sex with people you barely know right? And isn't it wrong to socialise with women just so you can have sex with them? So what do people mean when they say get laid? And how is someone like me, who has no idea how to navigate the social landscape, supposed to get laid? It just doesn't come naturally to me. It doesn't help that Tinder is completely useless in fixing me up, nobody wants to talk despite having signed up for a service where you're supposed to talk, and then meet.
I just keep seeing beautiful women all around me, and it hurts that they're all out of my league.
Any advice?
I feel the exact same way. But for me its easy to say "Gain some confidence"!!! Its another thing to actually gain it. I have a hard time talking to people in general and I dont think my expressions on my face help much. Now its not like I can't get girls, but they just arent for me. I am not look for perfection, but I also want life to be a little more brighter. I am glad there is a forum about this, I will try to read more.
1
Lol, this is kinda odd, but I'm the opposite? I'm a chick and I am fascinated by virgins! Its actually quite a turn on to be the women that gets to show men sex for the first time.
OP have hope! There are tons of women out there that want to pop your cherry!:)
OP have hope! There are tons of women out there that want to pop your cherry!:)
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I personally think you have your priorities a bit messed up but to each is own. I'd personally rather wait for if something could lead to great sex then rather just have a fling. Did you decide on doing anything about it or did you focus on other things to make yourself happier?
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greenmel555 wrote...
Lol, this is kinda odd, but I'm the opposite? I'm a chick and I am fascinated by virgins! Its actually quite a turn on to be the women that gets to show men sex for the first time. OP have hope! There are tons of women out there that want to pop your cherry!:)
All 3 of the women I did it with were like that...
To answer the OP, I myself am plenty awkward, aspergers is a bitch. Somehow I pulled it together at 23 and had sex.
It wasn't mindblowing, but it wasn't as terrible as everyone said. She's nice though.
I think the biggest thing is people don't know how to use what they have as a plus. I try and use my oddities as a charming thing, and some women legit think I am charming. Fuck if I know why, but they do.
And often times, more old fashion romance seems to win over women, a lot of them don't get that and they really... well get in the mood when you do something really nice like that (cards, flowers that sort of stuff, you don't need to spend a lot of money either). Not all women but some.
My bizarre charms and ball jointed dolls let me emulate the President (by grabbing a woman by the pussy at a shopping mall).
Yeah the dolls weirdly are an in. One of the women I slept with even has her own. So that's nice.
0
I felt that way in high school. All I will say is girls wanna get laid just as much as dudes do. Try Tinder?
1
Hey, friend. I feel you.
Up until you're in a sexual relationship with someone, it feels like you're never going to be. I was a virgin at 23, too. I'm not anymore, but going through all of high school and college as the sole virgin in my friend group was rough. It sucks.
For what it's worth, 23 is also not a horribly embarrassing age to be a virgin. I think it's shitty that society makes us self-conscious about it, but don't worry—basically throughout your 20s, it's still cute to be a virgin (and also: anybody who would make fun of you or think less of you for that, no matter what your age, is being horrible.)
If you truly feel that it's your virginity specifically that's a problem for you, there's no shame in securing the services of a professional. It's harder to do now than it used to be, depending on your location, but it's still totally doable. If you take that route, be honest with the woman about your situation. She will almost definitely be flattered to get to be your first time. Again: Our society is fucked up about sex workers, but there's nothing inherently wrong with using the services of one, if you feel it will help you. And it might! That said, if what you're actually longing for is not just a sexual experience but an ongoing sexual relationship, I don't recommend paying for sex. Because our society is fucked up about sex work, you'll probably feel weird and gross about it afterwards (even though you shouldn't).
As far as finding the actual relationship goes, I have good news and bad news. Bad news first: Because you have to deal with other human beings, nothing is guaranteed to work out. Anyone telling you that if you do x thing you're guaranteed to fuck a girl is trying to sell you something. The other bad news is that going out and trying to get sex is paradoxically less likely to end up with you getting what you want.
The good news is: Women want sex, too. So what you need to do is meet women.
Dating apps can be good, but what you have to remember is that those things are mostly a nightmare for women because of how many creeps there are. The creeps are creepy not because they want sex, but because they're pushy and mean. The fact that women still use dating apps at all proves how badly they also want sex.
The key to being appealing on a dating app is, not coincidentally, the key to being appealing in real life. DO SHIT and BE KIND.
You got a hobby? Go hard on that hobby. Pursue all your interests to the fullest extent of your passion, and share them with others whenever you can. Enthusiasm is contagious and attractive. If you're a gamer (of any kind), find a local gaming meetup. You're on Fakku, so I assume you're at least something of an anime/manga fan—find the local anime club and go to a screening. If you're a redditor, find the subreddit for your city and go to one of their meetups. And do things. Run an RPG, make a zine, start a band (the shittier the better). Do things you love for their own sake—this is both extremely fun in and of itself, and also desperately attractive.
And while you are doing shit, be a good person. Not a nice guy—a good guy. Help people out when you can, and be willing to accept help from others when you need it. When someone says something that makes you feel small, don't lash out at them—instead, remember that you don't want to make other people feel that way, and conduct yourself accordingly. Remember that everyone is trapped inside their own heads. It's not just you. Everyone (even cool sex-havers) feels scared and insecure, everyone wants people to like them (especially when they claim not to), everyone feels the huge distance between them and what they want. Be the person who makes someone feel that way a little bit less.
You can do this. I believe in you.
Up until you're in a sexual relationship with someone, it feels like you're never going to be. I was a virgin at 23, too. I'm not anymore, but going through all of high school and college as the sole virgin in my friend group was rough. It sucks.
For what it's worth, 23 is also not a horribly embarrassing age to be a virgin. I think it's shitty that society makes us self-conscious about it, but don't worry—basically throughout your 20s, it's still cute to be a virgin (and also: anybody who would make fun of you or think less of you for that, no matter what your age, is being horrible.)
If you truly feel that it's your virginity specifically that's a problem for you, there's no shame in securing the services of a professional. It's harder to do now than it used to be, depending on your location, but it's still totally doable. If you take that route, be honest with the woman about your situation. She will almost definitely be flattered to get to be your first time. Again: Our society is fucked up about sex workers, but there's nothing inherently wrong with using the services of one, if you feel it will help you. And it might! That said, if what you're actually longing for is not just a sexual experience but an ongoing sexual relationship, I don't recommend paying for sex. Because our society is fucked up about sex work, you'll probably feel weird and gross about it afterwards (even though you shouldn't).
As far as finding the actual relationship goes, I have good news and bad news. Bad news first: Because you have to deal with other human beings, nothing is guaranteed to work out. Anyone telling you that if you do x thing you're guaranteed to fuck a girl is trying to sell you something. The other bad news is that going out and trying to get sex is paradoxically less likely to end up with you getting what you want.
The good news is: Women want sex, too. So what you need to do is meet women.
Dating apps can be good, but what you have to remember is that those things are mostly a nightmare for women because of how many creeps there are. The creeps are creepy not because they want sex, but because they're pushy and mean. The fact that women still use dating apps at all proves how badly they also want sex.
The key to being appealing on a dating app is, not coincidentally, the key to being appealing in real life. DO SHIT and BE KIND.
You got a hobby? Go hard on that hobby. Pursue all your interests to the fullest extent of your passion, and share them with others whenever you can. Enthusiasm is contagious and attractive. If you're a gamer (of any kind), find a local gaming meetup. You're on Fakku, so I assume you're at least something of an anime/manga fan—find the local anime club and go to a screening. If you're a redditor, find the subreddit for your city and go to one of their meetups. And do things. Run an RPG, make a zine, start a band (the shittier the better). Do things you love for their own sake—this is both extremely fun in and of itself, and also desperately attractive.
And while you are doing shit, be a good person. Not a nice guy—a good guy. Help people out when you can, and be willing to accept help from others when you need it. When someone says something that makes you feel small, don't lash out at them—instead, remember that you don't want to make other people feel that way, and conduct yourself accordingly. Remember that everyone is trapped inside their own heads. It's not just you. Everyone (even cool sex-havers) feels scared and insecure, everyone wants people to like them (especially when they claim not to), everyone feels the huge distance between them and what they want. Be the person who makes someone feel that way a little bit less.
You can do this. I believe in you.
