Short Story - The Claimed
1
Hello again and happy Monday! In an attempt to keep myself flexible and warmed up in regards to my writing I decided to take the time while I was at work to indulge you all in a sample of my work. I'm certain there will be grammatical issues however I wanted to expose you all to my style of writing.
I hope you enjoy, any constructive feedback is always welcome!
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Her feet pounded in a furious tempo, one after the other, step after step as she traversed the unfamiliar terrain of the woods. The cadence of her breathing was erratic, labored as she began to stumble from the uneven ground. Roots threatened her footing, wild bramble flaying the light fabric of her dress as she sought after a break in the woods. Her eyes darted in front of her, frantically searching for the light of the open field she had ventured in from, a light that had dwindled the further she wandered within the embrace of the black forest.
It was a dare, a silly dare that made her come in this far. The group of girls she had thought she could call her friends forced this upon her for a little entertainment, knowing very well that no one enters the woods alone after sunset as the vast forest would never let you leave. "Just place your hand on the trunk of the largest tree, fifty paces in," they said while stifling their giggles. "We've all done it." If they all have done it, she could do the same just as easily, right?
Fifty paces in, and the woods consumed her entirely. Fifty paces in, and the light of the setting sun abandoned her without delay. She couldn't even tell which tree was the largest among them, they all looked just as gnarled and just as black with their branches seemingly reaching down to try and graze her. She bit back a whimper, silencing her voice momentarily as she took her lower lip between her teeth. Just turn around and walk back the way you came... she repeated to herself like a protective mantra, her words fervent on her lips as she maintained her quiet prayer.
A root in her path broke her stride as well as her chant as she fell forward, barely catching herself on the flat of her palms while visibly wincing. Droplets of blood began to well up at the small gashes in her hands. Reflexively, she took one hand after another, tenderly licking the blood from her grasp to try and clean the small wound when suddenly she froze. It was distant but still distinct - the deep and hollow howl of something unseen, but something within her dreaded it all the same. Her entire body began to shiver after breaking from its paralysis, and without prompt nor sight of the thing she had heard, she lifted herself up from her prone position and ran blindly forward.
Panic had consumed her, every thought, every fiber of her being was now doused in a thick dread that oozed from her very core. Where is the field, where is the field, her addled mind screamed internally. She was blind to her surroundings now, taking no time to make sense of her cold trail but instead relying on sheer luck alone. If she just traveled in a single direction she'd be sure to find her way out, right? Her very thought process was interrupted, however, to the sound of breaking branches and heavy thuds behind her. The thing had caught on to her trail, had taken in her scent and was racing behind her with an ever increasing velocity.
Her heart pounded, drumming beneath her chest in violent thuds that forced both blood and adrenaline to swell within her. The toxic mingling of fear and panic clouded her thoughts as her bewildered mind could no longer maintain control of her body. She stumbled repeatedly, losing her footing over rock and branch and shrub. It was as if the entire forest was conspiring against her; clinging to her, refusing to let go of its captured prey. Tears began to flow freely from the corners of her eyes as a subtle tinge of despair began to fill the remaining corners of her frantic thoughts.
It was then that she felt a large weight upon her, a powerful grip pushing her entire being down and pinning her head to the earthy terrain. She yelped moreso in surprise than in agony before whimpering in fear. "Please, please please please!" she begged as she tried to turn her head to see the thing on top of her back. The forest offered little light and her eyes could only make out a broad shape out of the corner of her eye; a large furred black beast that seemingly panted in both rage and hunger.
She shrieked and coiled in on herself as she felt rivulets of saliva dribble down her neck whilst a hot breath poured down her nape like sweltering fog. She cried out again, writhing furiously to try and slip away. Her hands reached out to fruitlessly tug at the nearby roots and grass in front of her, smearing her blood on the ground. The thing behind her pressed down even harder now, offering no escape as it took in her scent - the heat of her body, the smell of fresh blood dripping from the small gashes she incurred while trying to outrun the monstrosity that had her in its grasp. With the chase now over and her impending end having caught her in its clutches, she could do little more than stare out in to the blackness of the wood, hope dwindling before her as her vein attempts to escape slowly faded from her grasp.
It was only then that her eyes widened, a surge of pain taking hold of her limbs began to flail out in front of her. She could feel the claws of the creature raking at her features, fraying her already tattered clothes as it took hold of her firmly and, without any concern for her well being or comfort, impaled her fully in one fell swoop with its large mast. She screamed out, gasping for air as her mind raced while her body contorted and strained to accommodate the violent thing that now invaded her lower half. Her legs shuffled beneath their combined weight as she feebly tried to claw her way forward, away from the thing now claiming her body in agonizing thrusts; slow, deep thrusts that violently jolted her body forward with each meeting of their hips. She screamed out, pleading to an invisible savior to help her, to save her.
Again and again the thing began to burrow its way within her with each rocking blow of its hips, stretching her out further to welcome its presence. It had lifted its grip on her head at last, having instead placed to heavy set paws on either side of her shoulders to brace itself. She became aware of the weight lifting from her, yet the strength in her body had already ebbed. She attempted to weakly crawl forward, yet every inch she took the thing would inch forward in response, refusing her escape, continuing to violently take her for its own unspoken purpose.
"Umfph...umpfh!" she groaned out in discomfort as her insides twisted and throbbed around the intruder within her. Her legs continued to shuffle, yet it felt as a portion of her weight was robbed from her, as if she was being lifted slightly by the sheer strength of the invading length inside of her. Her dress stretched against her belly as she could barely see the girth inside of her sawing in and out, claiming her from within with every agonizing stroke. I-I need to...n-need to run...need to... Her mind was trying to string coherent thought, but each blow of the monster's hips rid her of any logic or reason. Need to...need to...OH! Her body tensed as a violent moan escaped her now that was seemingly unlike her. Was that even her voice? She couldn't comprehend what she had heard, nor did she give it any further thought. Her attention was now turned back to the swollen thing within her as it grew in size, its girth thick and throbbing with a violent and desperate need that pounded in to her repeatedly until she felt it - a violent burst of molten heat began to blossom within her. The heat, so prominent that it contrasted against the cold earth beneath them began to spread through her like an inferno. She writhed and shuddered now as thick spurt after thick spurt began to flood her belly, forcing it to swell to accommodate the sheer volume of the creature's seed that now flooded her insides and trickled down the length of her thighs.
She collapsed on her elbows, panting out, moaning half in pain and half in some sensation that was foreign to her. She didn't understand the warmth that was now claiming her cold limbs, siphoning away her fear and anxiety ever so subtly. Her hands continued to curl against the earth, trying feebly yet again to pull herself away from her captor; yet she found herself unable to even inch forward, her hips seemingly fixed against the creatures as the thickness of its girth continued to swell and knot within her, locking her in place. She panted out, her breath leaving her rapidly as she strained around the thick bulb within her. The dribble of their mingling had now ceased as the beast had filled her entirely, its body refusing to allow a single drop of its molten nectar to escape her.
Only a moment's reprieve met her before her captor began to thrust yet again, its knotted girth slowly churning within her, a wet piston that slowly demanded entry to her womb. Her hand reflexively touched the flat of her belly, feeling the presence within her continuing to claim her body. The flood of seed within her had not ceased, just barely subsiding to a gentle stream as her captor continued to drown her body and senses in its desires.
"MFPH! MFPH!" she grunted out as her hips unconsciously began to press back against the monster's weight, forcing its beastly cock to bury itself deeper in her swollen belly. She needed to...needed to...what did she need to do? Her mouth remained agape, her blood still smeared on her lips as her features curved in ecstasy. Her eyes rolled back as she arched upward, her own arms propping her up securely as she began to meet the beasts thrusts with her own. Gradually her eyes had begun to adjust to the world around them, her pupils slitting as she began to see the wonders of the forest. She at last could see her captor now, its large maw protruding from the predatory features of its face as rivulets of drool continue to drip from the corners of its mouth. She pushed back yet again, forcing another torrent of seed to flood her belly, the violent stream now claiming her womb, filling her to the brim as she shuddered out, mewling in blissful agony. "OH!" she managed to moan out in bliss before the large thing's maw opened wide, fastening its jaw around her throat to hold her in place. She could feel the teeth of the creature press in to her jugular while her heart beat rapidly against it. She began to drool in response, one instinct now replaced with another as her will to escape had vanished with the second violent spurt of the beast's seed.
Her body clung to the knot that had buried itself within her, her pussy tenderly milking as it suckled and nursed from the beastly cock within her. Another rush of cum filled her belly, forcing her body to distend even more as she groaned out exquisitely. Shakily, she reached out behind her, placing a tender hand on the beast's neck as it clung to her. "...more...more..." she whispered out in her pleasured delirium, barely able to manage the words as each thrust made the monster's teeth press tighter against her throat. She belonged to it now, and she craved it.
No one enters the woods alone at sunset - the woods will never let you leave.
I hope you enjoy, any constructive feedback is always welcome!
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Her feet pounded in a furious tempo, one after the other, step after step as she traversed the unfamiliar terrain of the woods. The cadence of her breathing was erratic, labored as she began to stumble from the uneven ground. Roots threatened her footing, wild bramble flaying the light fabric of her dress as she sought after a break in the woods. Her eyes darted in front of her, frantically searching for the light of the open field she had ventured in from, a light that had dwindled the further she wandered within the embrace of the black forest.
It was a dare, a silly dare that made her come in this far. The group of girls she had thought she could call her friends forced this upon her for a little entertainment, knowing very well that no one enters the woods alone after sunset as the vast forest would never let you leave. "Just place your hand on the trunk of the largest tree, fifty paces in," they said while stifling their giggles. "We've all done it." If they all have done it, she could do the same just as easily, right?
Fifty paces in, and the woods consumed her entirely. Fifty paces in, and the light of the setting sun abandoned her without delay. She couldn't even tell which tree was the largest among them, they all looked just as gnarled and just as black with their branches seemingly reaching down to try and graze her. She bit back a whimper, silencing her voice momentarily as she took her lower lip between her teeth. Just turn around and walk back the way you came... she repeated to herself like a protective mantra, her words fervent on her lips as she maintained her quiet prayer.
A root in her path broke her stride as well as her chant as she fell forward, barely catching herself on the flat of her palms while visibly wincing. Droplets of blood began to well up at the small gashes in her hands. Reflexively, she took one hand after another, tenderly licking the blood from her grasp to try and clean the small wound when suddenly she froze. It was distant but still distinct - the deep and hollow howl of something unseen, but something within her dreaded it all the same. Her entire body began to shiver after breaking from its paralysis, and without prompt nor sight of the thing she had heard, she lifted herself up from her prone position and ran blindly forward.
Panic had consumed her, every thought, every fiber of her being was now doused in a thick dread that oozed from her very core. Where is the field, where is the field, her addled mind screamed internally. She was blind to her surroundings now, taking no time to make sense of her cold trail but instead relying on sheer luck alone. If she just traveled in a single direction she'd be sure to find her way out, right? Her very thought process was interrupted, however, to the sound of breaking branches and heavy thuds behind her. The thing had caught on to her trail, had taken in her scent and was racing behind her with an ever increasing velocity.
Her heart pounded, drumming beneath her chest in violent thuds that forced both blood and adrenaline to swell within her. The toxic mingling of fear and panic clouded her thoughts as her bewildered mind could no longer maintain control of her body. She stumbled repeatedly, losing her footing over rock and branch and shrub. It was as if the entire forest was conspiring against her; clinging to her, refusing to let go of its captured prey. Tears began to flow freely from the corners of her eyes as a subtle tinge of despair began to fill the remaining corners of her frantic thoughts.
It was then that she felt a large weight upon her, a powerful grip pushing her entire being down and pinning her head to the earthy terrain. She yelped moreso in surprise than in agony before whimpering in fear. "Please, please please please!" she begged as she tried to turn her head to see the thing on top of her back. The forest offered little light and her eyes could only make out a broad shape out of the corner of her eye; a large furred black beast that seemingly panted in both rage and hunger.
She shrieked and coiled in on herself as she felt rivulets of saliva dribble down her neck whilst a hot breath poured down her nape like sweltering fog. She cried out again, writhing furiously to try and slip away. Her hands reached out to fruitlessly tug at the nearby roots and grass in front of her, smearing her blood on the ground. The thing behind her pressed down even harder now, offering no escape as it took in her scent - the heat of her body, the smell of fresh blood dripping from the small gashes she incurred while trying to outrun the monstrosity that had her in its grasp. With the chase now over and her impending end having caught her in its clutches, she could do little more than stare out in to the blackness of the wood, hope dwindling before her as her vein attempts to escape slowly faded from her grasp.
It was only then that her eyes widened, a surge of pain taking hold of her limbs began to flail out in front of her. She could feel the claws of the creature raking at her features, fraying her already tattered clothes as it took hold of her firmly and, without any concern for her well being or comfort, impaled her fully in one fell swoop with its large mast. She screamed out, gasping for air as her mind raced while her body contorted and strained to accommodate the violent thing that now invaded her lower half. Her legs shuffled beneath their combined weight as she feebly tried to claw her way forward, away from the thing now claiming her body in agonizing thrusts; slow, deep thrusts that violently jolted her body forward with each meeting of their hips. She screamed out, pleading to an invisible savior to help her, to save her.
Again and again the thing began to burrow its way within her with each rocking blow of its hips, stretching her out further to welcome its presence. It had lifted its grip on her head at last, having instead placed to heavy set paws on either side of her shoulders to brace itself. She became aware of the weight lifting from her, yet the strength in her body had already ebbed. She attempted to weakly crawl forward, yet every inch she took the thing would inch forward in response, refusing her escape, continuing to violently take her for its own unspoken purpose.
"Umfph...umpfh!" she groaned out in discomfort as her insides twisted and throbbed around the intruder within her. Her legs continued to shuffle, yet it felt as a portion of her weight was robbed from her, as if she was being lifted slightly by the sheer strength of the invading length inside of her. Her dress stretched against her belly as she could barely see the girth inside of her sawing in and out, claiming her from within with every agonizing stroke. I-I need to...n-need to run...need to... Her mind was trying to string coherent thought, but each blow of the monster's hips rid her of any logic or reason. Need to...need to...OH! Her body tensed as a violent moan escaped her now that was seemingly unlike her. Was that even her voice? She couldn't comprehend what she had heard, nor did she give it any further thought. Her attention was now turned back to the swollen thing within her as it grew in size, its girth thick and throbbing with a violent and desperate need that pounded in to her repeatedly until she felt it - a violent burst of molten heat began to blossom within her. The heat, so prominent that it contrasted against the cold earth beneath them began to spread through her like an inferno. She writhed and shuddered now as thick spurt after thick spurt began to flood her belly, forcing it to swell to accommodate the sheer volume of the creature's seed that now flooded her insides and trickled down the length of her thighs.
She collapsed on her elbows, panting out, moaning half in pain and half in some sensation that was foreign to her. She didn't understand the warmth that was now claiming her cold limbs, siphoning away her fear and anxiety ever so subtly. Her hands continued to curl against the earth, trying feebly yet again to pull herself away from her captor; yet she found herself unable to even inch forward, her hips seemingly fixed against the creatures as the thickness of its girth continued to swell and knot within her, locking her in place. She panted out, her breath leaving her rapidly as she strained around the thick bulb within her. The dribble of their mingling had now ceased as the beast had filled her entirely, its body refusing to allow a single drop of its molten nectar to escape her.
Only a moment's reprieve met her before her captor began to thrust yet again, its knotted girth slowly churning within her, a wet piston that slowly demanded entry to her womb. Her hand reflexively touched the flat of her belly, feeling the presence within her continuing to claim her body. The flood of seed within her had not ceased, just barely subsiding to a gentle stream as her captor continued to drown her body and senses in its desires.
"MFPH! MFPH!" she grunted out as her hips unconsciously began to press back against the monster's weight, forcing its beastly cock to bury itself deeper in her swollen belly. She needed to...needed to...what did she need to do? Her mouth remained agape, her blood still smeared on her lips as her features curved in ecstasy. Her eyes rolled back as she arched upward, her own arms propping her up securely as she began to meet the beasts thrusts with her own. Gradually her eyes had begun to adjust to the world around them, her pupils slitting as she began to see the wonders of the forest. She at last could see her captor now, its large maw protruding from the predatory features of its face as rivulets of drool continue to drip from the corners of its mouth. She pushed back yet again, forcing another torrent of seed to flood her belly, the violent stream now claiming her womb, filling her to the brim as she shuddered out, mewling in blissful agony. "OH!" she managed to moan out in bliss before the large thing's maw opened wide, fastening its jaw around her throat to hold her in place. She could feel the teeth of the creature press in to her jugular while her heart beat rapidly against it. She began to drool in response, one instinct now replaced with another as her will to escape had vanished with the second violent spurt of the beast's seed.
Her body clung to the knot that had buried itself within her, her pussy tenderly milking as it suckled and nursed from the beastly cock within her. Another rush of cum filled her belly, forcing her body to distend even more as she groaned out exquisitely. Shakily, she reached out behind her, placing a tender hand on the beast's neck as it clung to her. "...more...more..." she whispered out in her pleasured delirium, barely able to manage the words as each thrust made the monster's teeth press tighter against her throat. She belonged to it now, and she craved it.
No one enters the woods alone at sunset - the woods will never let you leave.
0
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Not too bad. Actually, it's quite well done. You include plenty of descriptive narration in the story which provides a nice measure of content, food for the senses. I tend to enjoy these types of techniques. There's a sufficient amount of exposition and the focal character's thoughts, fears, feelings, and personality, are decently crafted as they evolve into something more corrupt.
Spelling and grammatical structure were excellent. I didn't notice any glaring mistakes and it seems to be that you have a masterful hold of the English language and grammar rules, so that is always pleasant to see.
Content-related, this end of the fetish spectrum isn't my preferred genre much at all. Rape, bestiality, predator/prey, monster, and snuff(?), all very intense material. That being said, my preferred tastes didn't get in the way towards sampling this piece from you.
I'm glad to see some of your work and in case no one said as much already, welcome to this humble little corner of the FAKKU forums. It's always nice to have new writers in our midst.
Well done and I hope to see more things from you in the future.
-X
Spelling and grammatical structure were excellent. I didn't notice any glaring mistakes and it seems to be that you have a masterful hold of the English language and grammar rules, so that is always pleasant to see.
Content-related, this end of the fetish spectrum isn't my preferred genre much at all. Rape, bestiality, predator/prey, monster, and snuff(?), all very intense material. That being said, my preferred tastes didn't get in the way towards sampling this piece from you.
I'm glad to see some of your work and in case no one said as much already, welcome to this humble little corner of the FAKKU forums. It's always nice to have new writers in our midst.
Well done and I hope to see more things from you in the future.
-X