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advice
0
Ok, I'll try and simplify things since I am not very good at words.
Ok, I have been dating online this girl who lives very far away from me. We chat on facebook and we have been dating since 8 months ago. Everything is really fun and new to me since I haven't been any attention to my love life since I have always put myself and my studies above everything else (and it has worked wonders for me). So anyways there is the occasional argument where she gets mad and leaves, here's the tricky part.
When she leaves she just goes offline and ignores my next 2-3 comments (til i figure out that she has left) and so I stop talking to her butt get this, one day when were both in a good mood I ask her when will it be a good time for me to start talking to her again or if she will ever start a conversation and she says that she has a huge ego and that she will never start a conversation, this of course stung me just a little.
So anyways last month she got really mad and left and deleted our conversation (this is a first btw) and I have been busy with school now and haven't really talked at all for a month now.
A friend of mine knowing of the situation told me to broke it up and I informally did just by unfriending her, though I have no idea if she knows I did that. Ah, I decided to break up with her the same day she got mad, cus I had had enough of her episodes.
Now, I decided to be her boyfriend when she asked me to, since I've never had one before it sounded like a lot of fun and I was curious since I've never had one before; I consider myself a very mature person person with a more objective point of view than a sentimental one. Right now I am not sure what I feel about her anymore, though I sometimes think about her and it feels weird not having to look at my facebook every once in a while, since I've been making that my routine since 8 months ago (started our relationship)
So, yah......... what do you think about this guys?
I think I have made the most logical choice here butt for some reason I think I might be wrong
Ok, I have been dating online this girl who lives very far away from me. We chat on facebook and we have been dating since 8 months ago. Everything is really fun and new to me since I haven't been any attention to my love life since I have always put myself and my studies above everything else (and it has worked wonders for me). So anyways there is the occasional argument where she gets mad and leaves, here's the tricky part.
When she leaves she just goes offline and ignores my next 2-3 comments (til i figure out that she has left) and so I stop talking to her butt get this, one day when were both in a good mood I ask her when will it be a good time for me to start talking to her again or if she will ever start a conversation and she says that she has a huge ego and that she will never start a conversation, this of course stung me just a little.
So anyways last month she got really mad and left and deleted our conversation (this is a first btw) and I have been busy with school now and haven't really talked at all for a month now.
A friend of mine knowing of the situation told me to broke it up and I informally did just by unfriending her, though I have no idea if she knows I did that. Ah, I decided to break up with her the same day she got mad, cus I had had enough of her episodes.
Now, I decided to be her boyfriend when she asked me to, since I've never had one before it sounded like a lot of fun and I was curious since I've never had one before; I consider myself a very mature person person with a more objective point of view than a sentimental one. Right now I am not sure what I feel about her anymore, though I sometimes think about her and it feels weird not having to look at my facebook every once in a while, since I've been making that my routine since 8 months ago (started our relationship)
So, yah......... what do you think about this guys?
I think I have made the most logical choice here butt for some reason I think I might be wrong
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Misaki_Chi
Fakku Nurse
I don't agree with her notion of "having a man start every conversation". It's a bit of an immature or an unrealistic ideal in a man.
I think what you did was fine and I wouldn't fret too much about it. It's not a healthy relationship if you are not able to talk about things with one another. The only advice I would give is to think in a less logistic manner next time or rather get rid of this logistic notion that you think you have. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to be logical, but you have to admit to yourself that you are human. No matter how mature or smart you think or actually are, you still have to learn about life/love/hate/sorrow/etc through applied practice. I know that I myself use to think I was so wise beyond my years, but I am still young and an emotional roller-coaster even though I sometimes "think" I know it all lol.
Basically accept that what's done is done. Even if it wasn't the best relationship in the world it hurts to end a connection you had with someone. Hopefully the next girl you meet will be more open to talking about things with you and don't let your brain get in the way of your heart ;)
I think what you did was fine and I wouldn't fret too much about it. It's not a healthy relationship if you are not able to talk about things with one another. The only advice I would give is to think in a less logistic manner next time or rather get rid of this logistic notion that you think you have. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to be logical, but you have to admit to yourself that you are human. No matter how mature or smart you think or actually are, you still have to learn about life/love/hate/sorrow/etc through applied practice. I know that I myself use to think I was so wise beyond my years, but I am still young and an emotional roller-coaster even though I sometimes "think" I know it all lol.
Basically accept that what's done is done. Even if it wasn't the best relationship in the world it hurts to end a connection you had with someone. Hopefully the next girl you meet will be more open to talking about things with you and don't let your brain get in the way of your heart ;)
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Misaki_Chi wrote...
I don't agree with her notion of "having a man start every conversation". It's a bit of an immature or an unrealistic ideal in a man.I think what you did was fine and I wouldn't fret too much about it. It's not a healthy relationship if you are not able to talk about things with one another. The only advice I would give is to think in a less logistic manner next time or rather get rid of this logistic notion that you think you have. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to be logical, but you have to admit to yourself that you are human. No matter how mature or smart you think or actually are, you still have to learn about life/love/hate/sorrow/etc through applied practice. I know that I myself use to think I was so wise beyond my years, but I am still young and an emotional roller-coaster even though I sometimes "think" I know it all lol.
Basically accept that what's done is done. Even if it wasn't the best relationship in the world it hurts to end a connection you had with someone. Hopefully the next girl you meet will be more open to talking about things with you and don't let your brain get in the way of your heart ;)
yes, thank you, you are right though butt I don't know how, I mean, in my family when someone gets mad they usually say the why's and how's and whatnots and that's it, 5min later we're all like normal again. And I have a very a lot of resistance to stress and anger and sadness and other things...
Though I do understand why some poeple get mad at stuff I do not fully get it (if that makes sense)
And yes, thank you for supporting my decision, and you are right it does hurt a little since she was my very first gf and I wanted to try a lot of things with her but yeah, it was not very productive
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Misaki_Chi
Fakku Nurse
It's cool and it's okay if you don't get overly emotional with things. It's smart to think and talk things through so you save yourself the 3 hours of emotional bs like my family enjoys doings (they're a traditional southern family so it can be a headache to say the least). You'll find a good balance of emotion and logic with the right person and through communication. I'd say my boyfriend is similar to you in the sense he doesn't get overly emotional over things because he is easy to rationalize and takes the high road. Only issue I've seen with such a tactic is you can be prone to shutting down rather then trying to stay in the game with conflict; it's fine to take a time out if two people get overly heated, but don't just shut down when things get tough.
Basically I know that my bf is a good complement to me because I've learned to become more reserved and easygoing while he's learned to stick up for himself and get a bit more combative if were fighting (aka he sticks up for himself more). I won't say it's a good thing to get mad or sad, but you don't want to become so unemotional that you are a robot so in the end balance is always a good thing to strive for. I'm still trying to find it for my hot tempered ways (TTwTT)
Basically I know that my bf is a good complement to me because I've learned to become more reserved and easygoing while he's learned to stick up for himself and get a bit more combative if were fighting (aka he sticks up for himself more). I won't say it's a good thing to get mad or sad, but you don't want to become so unemotional that you are a robot so in the end balance is always a good thing to strive for. I'm still trying to find it for my hot tempered ways (TTwTT)
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Misaki_Chi wrote...
It's cool and it's okay if you don't get overly emotional with things. It's smart to think and talk things through so you save yourself the 3 hours of emotional bs like my family enjoys doings (they're a traditional southern family so it can be a headache to say the least). You'll find a good balance of emotion and logic with the right person and through communication. I'd say my boyfriend is similar to you in the sense he doesn't get overly emotional over things because he is easy to rationalize and takes the high road. Only issue I've seen with such a tactic is you can be prone to shutting down rather then trying to stay in the game with conflict; it's fine to take a time out if two people get overly heated, but don't just shut down when things get tough.Basically I know that my bf is a good complement to me because I've learned to become more reserved and easygoing while he's learned to stick up for himself and get a bit more combative if were fighting (aka he sticks up for himself more). I won't say it's a good thing to get mad or sad, but you don't want to become so unemotional that you are a robot so in the end balance is always a good thing to strive for. I'm still trying to find it for my hot tempered ways (TTwTT)
Heh, we're the same, though I have always found emotions bothersome and hard to understand when I started going out with her I became very emotional (something we would both call "gay", haha) anyways I was only that caring and emotional with my babies (dogs) when they were still alive. And I am frighteningly similar to your bf, if I don't see any point to something I just quit, though I try and take everyone's best interest in mind, though mine always comes first, and I enjoy being a sarcastic dick 90% of the time the other 10% is being silent and burning everyone in my head. Apparently our last fight was she taking something as sarcasm, which wasn't
