Advice on a sub x sub relationship

Ok the tittle may be odd
anyhow i'm a kitten, i'm into kitten play, bdsm
And my bf he is the purest,most innocent soul you can imagine.

We are in a happy relationship for 7 years now, but my sex drive is way bigger than his and its troublying me.
he cant dominate me, he doesnt really know how to anyway.

He doesnt watch hentai or porn, he is an demisexual, he doesnt ever tease me either. Its always me dominating and taking control... its depressing.
he can go MONTHS without sex and i cn barely stand more than a few days without

Any advice?
does anyone have similar problems?

What you want is totally normal and to be honest with you, if you two have been in a relationship for 7 years and you've known he was more of a sub/has a lower sex drive then you, these are things you may not be able to change about him.

When I've dated less sexual partners and ones that are more subs then dom's they don't really fair well trying to be anything but what they are. Some can get into dom if they try, but it can be hard espically if they are like your guy "innocent and don't want to hurt you". At least that's been my issue with guys.

The only thing you can do is one of two things. You can talk with your guy about this and be frank, but in a kind way about what it is you desire. Say that it is something you both need to be happy (don't make it all about yourself or rather don't say "I want xxx" and "I need xxx" from you; just be careful about demands) and see if there is anything he desires that you can do in return?

If this is something that you two have discussed or things have been the same for whatever reason then you have to start to think to yourself is this what you want? I know that it's not easy to think about this since 7 years is no joke, but you have to think to yourself if you are truly happy with how your sex life is atm because if that is something you cannot sacrifice then this is something you have to consider and talk about.

I know I am the same as you, I like to be a sub and I need a dom partner. I don't mind them wanting to be more submissive, but sex is an important part of a relationship to me, just as much as the emotional side so I can't be with someone who can't at the very least try to pleasure me or enjoy sex. Toys are a great alternative to getting off especially if you are hyper-sexual (it's a curse I tell you lol), but you have to be happy because if not you can grow to resent it. I knew that when I started to fantasize about other men (not just my 2D waifu's but I was seriously thinking about being with other men, that the relationship was doomed for me and it was a long term relationship). That wasn't the only reason I got out of it, but it was a partial element.

I wish you two the best and furthermore for your happiness. I hope this issue can be resolved, it's not easy so best of luck (^^)

This is a situation that you really just need to talk about it. 7 years in a relationship you two should know each other well, but there are certain things you still need to spell out for each other. Maybe talk him into trying to dominate once a week or something similar. If you cannot come to agreement then there are only two options really left
1. you become the dominate role type person and find the enjoyment in it.
2. Maybe looking at your relationship and figuring if you can continue.

2 isn't a great option but you can only go so long being constantly unsatisfied before you look to other means.

Also Misaki basically said ^these already, but always listen to her cause she has given some of the best advice in this section. I think of it as Misaki Advice Section more so than Love, Romance, and Relationships.

Thank you both!
i am really happy i am not the only one with this trouble ^^

He will most likely buy me a toy soon
A super super cute one really ❤ (am i allowed to name the store?)
i hope that will help,altought domination and pet play isn't just about sex which i am sure you do agree with

I will try to ask him and give it a try again.


he does try to dominate me, but he constantly asks me "can i ...?""what should i do now?" "Is it okey like this?"
It drives me crazy sometimes to the point i iust give in ane take the lead again and i'm really not a dom, i like to tease him but it's not as much fun to be the one leading the whole time. Also he never teases me, like NEVER. Except i tell him to do certain things.
When i'm a kitten he will often tell me to "grow up" when i purr around him,ask him to put me on a leash or such.


I love him so i would rather give it all a try than break up with him. Maybe with some practise he will figure it out. At least he does pat my head sometimes and he accepts me cosplaying or being a kitten at home.

He asked me to write him dow scrips, but that is somehow odd in my eyes.
Did you try that before?

Thanks again *nya*

You can name products no rule against it lol.

I think for dom and sub a script would work out well, because some men have a hard time with using their imagination when it comes to romancing as a dom. Not to say that guys can't do it, but they have a hard time trying to find what pleasures us exactly. I know I didn't think I was that picky when it came to it, but after talking with some guys on how I wanted things the nit picky side came out lol.

I'd also talk about safe words with you man. This isn't just for rough play, but it is also a sort of safety device for a guy so they feel like they aren't hurting you. Sort of gives them the idea "okay if she says X word I'll be okay to go as far as she can take it". It takes some getting use to, but it works really well to set limits and boundaries when you want things a bit more rougher. And don't make the word "no" or "stop", needs to be something you can easily hear and know is a stop word.

Toys will work out really well and let your guy take control of what you get, this will get him in the mindset of a dom sort of role. Another way to warm him up in a more dominant mindset is massages. Let him give you a full body massage, this can pleasure you and also give him some warm-up control over you. Oh and if you need his testosterone to flow have him work out a little before sex. I know when my guy would play some sports or do some running, just after he would be raring to go in beast mode lol.


I think in the end you two will find a nice balance as long as you two are committed to making it work (^^)b

Thank you!

I will try all of those tips out, hopefully it will work.

I love the massages,he hates them xD