Dealing with bullying?

Honestly I doubt that bullying is a serious daily issue here, since everybody is over 18+ and most likely out of highschool, but since it is still a unfortunate problem for me I thought I would ask for some guidance.

I'm currently in my last year of highschool, and I've been dealing with this kind of stuff all my life. To this day I have no idea how to respond to it, so I usually just let the words get to me and allow myself to feel bad because of it. Were you ever (or are you still) bullied? If so, how did/do you cope with it or respond to it?

Advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you in advance! ;w;

I was a bully in middle school, and I was bullied in high school. Karma :) Anyway, when I was bullied I wasn't as mature or strong as you are right now, so I dropped out of school. You on the other hand, was strong and still is strong I am sure, since you managed to endure 12 years of bullying without giving up and taking the easy way out. Unfortunately, I can't help you answer your question, simply because I don't know the answer. However, my gut feeling tells me that you are already dealing with bullying, and if you are not I am certain that you will in the near future. Just my $0.02, don't mind me. Other helpful answers will be coming right up in this thread shortly.

I did have my share of bullying back in middle school but it wasn't anything serious. I was being an ass back then and I brought most of it on myself (sleeping in class, acting like an immature idiot, stuff like that drew the bullies' attention). Sometimes when I fell asleep in class a bully would either poke me in the ribs or scream into my ears and whenever I tried to participate in PE the bullies would say I'm an idiot at sports (that's actually true) and tell me to go blow myself.

Eventually I got into a fight with one of them and we both beat each other up pretty badly. Both of us got detention for several weeks. After that the situation was somewhat appeased and though the other bullies did call me names sometimes they never did anything to really piss me off. The bully that I fought never touched me again and the other bullies lost interest in him too.

If things get too bad, just man up and fight. The only way to truly stop a bully is by fighting back. That's what I believe anyway.

Then there's talking to a teacher about this, but I doubt that would actually do anything. If anything the bully would probably be pissed at you for snitching.

Well, I was bullied for 8 years straight, only verbally and only at a safe distance because the few times they were dumb enough to get close I closed in on them and beat them up. It did not stop the bullying though and I was the prime bullying target at my school. Being the lover of fresh air I usually went into the school yard and the rest of the school (well, only around 50 or 60 people, but it sure felt like the whole school) were shouting out of the windows to piss me off and when the breaks were over my desk was and chair was usually sullied with butter or juice or something. The way I dealt with it was just sucking it up and laughing about it, I did not let the bother me in my daily life. All of them were inferior to me both physically and intellectually, and they knew it too which is why they ganged up on me from a safe distance, cowards really.
My best advice is to not let it get to you, see all the faults in your bullies and notice why you are superior to them, when you feel superior you get more self-confident and bullying is ineffective. I can only speak from my personal experience on the matter, but I hope it helped somehow.

I've been bullied on/off and it comes in all forms. Also you can be bullied at any point in life, it doesn't just happen in Highschool.

Biggest thing is to not let it get to you. Usually bullies are not happy with themselves and need to take there anger out on others. Some people can also be jealous and target you specifically. Either way don't let the words of someone you don't even like ruin your day. Be happy with who you are and stay strong. This will pass and you'll move on so will they for better or for worse. This person doesn't know you and you just need to find people who will love you for everything that you are, till then just keep working on loving yourself.

If the bullying becomes too bad (as in physical abuse or threats to your life) then talk to someone or defend yourself if they throw a punch. If you have any thoughts of sucicide or depression that continue to get worse talk to someone as well.

Other then that just hang in there and find a good friend to vent to. If you don't have anyone in mind msg someone on here such as myself. You can get through this, many can sympathize with your situation :)

Hehe.

Also there's a lot of people who aren't 18+. It's just the smarter ones don't mention their age.

This probably won't work for you but if it's not physical, just "go along" with the banter.

I was also bullied in school but after ignoring it for a while i snapped and beat the living crap out of the people responsible. That said i regret my actions, bullies only target people who they think will not stand up for themselves and rely on cronies and intimidation.

Its often best to ignore it imo~

I found a simple fist to face cures 99% of bullies. Even if he bigger then you, he more scared of a punch and the embarrassment of being betaed.

People have tried and failed once they noticed I was going to beat their ass if they kept going. So I never really felt the full extent of bullying

Talking about physical and physiological.

- Never provoke: This includes your personality. Basically, be gentle and without giving a feel you're feeling superior, smarter or whatever, or the inverse. This will fix most the time the issue.

- Never reduce to their level. I may make an exception if you're importantly taller/stronger/intimidating, in that case it may work. But I don't recommend it anyway: it'll just increase and redirect the violence to others, including your friends.

- Talk it. Start with those you're feeling more confident (can be friends, family, teachers, whatever), and as you win confidence, you can try to talk about it with your bullies about the issue. Yes, it works, not only fix the problem for you, but for others and the bullies themselves, too. Or well, just reach to the point where you talk and vent it to people you feel some confidence, it's ok neither way.

- Even if you do all the above, if you have inherent things that makes you susceptible to discrimination (can be illness, sexual identity/preference, fat/ugly, family related and stuff), things get harder. You can try to talk to your whole class/group in a attempt to reduce the general discrimination, so the bullies will feel intimidated to attack you because the social pressure. It isn't magical, but it can lessen the issue.

- Don't try to avoid the bullies, this also counts as provoking. You may do well on trying to avoid solitary places and passageways, along dark ones. If you can get company, better.

- When bullying get severe, for example death calls, extreme violence, rape, harassment, feeling deep depression (or suicidal considerations) and so, report it as much as you can and in a intelligent way. You don't have to deal alone with it when the bullying gets severe.

- Some people, personalities, moral ways and so can't be helped. If you're in that group, just learn to deal with it and be happy with that. Don't ignore them (because you're being arrogant and you'll provoke em' more in that way), but don't let them to reach deep on you. Hard to give tips in this case (for the specific nature), but be intelligent to reduce it as much as possible without contradicting yourself.

For example I were at school in my five years there an accuser (and I'm still). Someone cheated? Reported. Someone bullied? Reported. Someone lied, did steal or so? Reported. And I interfered with any bullying I'd seen and receive the violence or so on place of the original victim. I also talked with a lot of persons at the school in a (in my case, somewhat successful) attempt to reduce abuse and violence. But yeah, as for me I'd get permabullying and not so many friends. Nonetheless, I was happy because I was proud of myself and it was worth it~ (at least for me).

Currently I'm not bullied because I lack of social contact at the moment (hikkikomori, in part because illness, in part because I can, in part because I don't know too many people near I live). I'm not bullied in Internet neither because: I'm moderator/janitor/contributor in most sites I am. Bulky ignore/block lists. I just don't care about minor/mild bullying from strangers because lol, it's Internet, it would be unwise to take em' seriously.

Become half the narcissist I am and you wont give a fuck.

I got bullied by a older, bigger kid in middle school for a short time. Every time I would walk home from school, he would tackle me. I think he was jealous because the girl he liked was hitting on me. One day, instead of trying to run away, I just stood up to him and waited for him to tackle me. For some reason he stopped and turned the other way, and never did it again after that. Being the quiet honor student, I was always a target for bullying, but luckily it was never anything serious. Aside from the tackling incidents, I was just given a nickname by the other bullies. There were a few girls that got on my nerves, but I just took them as being tsunderes. Rarely would anything escalate beyond verbal teasing. There were other kids that had it much worse than me. If you don't want to fight back, the only thing you can do is ignore and hope they get bored with you.

Was bullied through most of middle school since I would just let people push me around, yell insults and whatnot. One day I just snapped and beat one of the bullies so bad that he started crying to stop. In my experience, a lot of bullies are scared of getting hurt so showing resistance will scare them off sometimes (assuming your punches don't feel like marshmallows). Afterwards the bullies would avoid provoking me so I guess it worked out for me.

I was never bullied in my life outside my brothers being assholes. For the most part I was someone who more or less stopped people bullying someone cause I had a friend base that was very diverse.

There are a few ways to deal with bullying.
1. You can always physically attack them. Sometimes they will see you as someone dangerous and stop it, but there is also a chance they are looking for that fight and knowing they can get it from you gives them another thrill.
2. You can always ignore them. I love when we say ignore someone cause it is way easier said than done. The bully if ignored might try hitting a sensitive point and once they do get a reaction then you are back in.
3. Just go with it. This is what my brother did at times. You basically go with the flow and make fun of yourself, but this take a lot of self confidence to know that you are not what you are saying and just using sarcasm.

I never got aggressive when dealing with bullies, I just ignored them and kept all the anger in which is not good, I don't recommend it.
Ignoring the bullies and just not giving a shit, eventually they'll get bored of you and fuck off but talk to someone, I'm sure most schools offer counselling or a tutor you can talk to. Even telling your friends or parents can be helpful, maybe they cant actively do anything about it but just don't keep it in.

You should know that letting their words get to you is exactly what they want and if they notice that it's affecting you it's like a fuel that makes them get worse and keep going. Don't show them any weakness. These people don't know you or who you are and everything that comes out of their mouth is pure bullshit. You have to build up your confidence and start liking yourself, honestly , once you start doing that you'll be pretty much invincible.


Edit: Like some people say, joining the banter is also a great way of scaring them off. You gotta be confident in yourself enough or there's a risk that it will put you down.
Keep in mind most bullies are super insecure and hate themselves, try approaching them when their sidekicks aren't around. It's a funny sight.

Becoming half the narcissist of what you are and you will become the bully, haha :D!

I think there is a definite 'don't let what they say get to you' involved in dealing with bullies. The only time I was really bullied was in elementary school (damn near eons ago, it feels to me) and things ended up getting physical. At least as physical as 8 year olds can get.

At the end of the day, I don't think there is one catch-all solution to dealing with bullies. All bullies are different, and while some will back down if you stand up to them, others will simply escalate it and things will get dicey. The best solution, depending on the form of the bullying, is to talk to people. Getting people to back you up, and tell you things will be alright is always good =) Keep looking towards the horizon, as they say, and things will work out. Just hang in there.

I was fortunate enough to go to a high school where you could talk to an administrator about your problems and actions were taken, fast. I'm well aware that isn't the case everywhere. The best advice I can give you is to hang out with people who actually respect you (and you them.) Good friends are the best medicine when dealing with bullying.

Unless these people are actually hurting you or making serious threats. At that point, it doesn't matter if you're worried about being a snitch because making sure you are intact is considerably more important.

I actually read your thread tho OP, I used to be bullied when I was younger, mostly because I was one of the chubby kids. To date I still have awful self-esteem and dislike myself because I never really feel like I am the person everyone wants me to be, but at the same time I'm also learning to just be me and to not care about what others think.

I'm alright with being cynical, with being pessimistic, with not fully appreciating myself, with not caring what others think anymore. But if you don't then you should seek help, any kind, really. Ask your teachers for help or talk to your parents about it, maybe a close friend.

Alternatively, just let it pass, bullies are often depressed people themself, just let it slip you by, don't care about it.

I went to a good college and one of my bullies failed middle school. I met the other one at one of my classes and we're cool now because we're no longer immature little kids.