Family Problems

Everyone has some sort of family problem. In my case, I have an immature sister that has always been immature since I have known her. Now, I can deal my sister because I taught myself how to completely ignore her. However, it has come to my attention that she is getting worse as the time goes by, and I am seriously getting concerned by the fact that my mom cannot deal with my sister as well as I can. Therefore, I kindly ask for your thoughts and advice regarding my family problem.

My sister and my mom get into an argument about once a week, and it's always my sister that starts the fight with the same scenario all the time. To make the long story short, my sister thinks she does not have any freedom at all and she asks my mom for more freedom. For example, today she started an argument because my mom refused to give her more allowance. My sister gets $1,000 a month as an allowance, and she can buy whatever she wants. By the way, food does not include in the allowance, she gets extra money for food. Last week, my sister started an argument because my mom told her to clean her room. My sister got angry, because she liked the way her room was and didn't want to clean it. If you haven't noticed by now, my sister is just spoiled and immature. There really isn't much more to say. To give a little more info about my sister, she is 23 years old and dropped out of college mid-way because she wasn't "passionate" about college. Being the angel of a mom that she is, my mom let her drop out of college, is currently paying for my sister's acting school tuition, and let my sister stay at our house instead of kicking her out.

What are your thoughts on my sister? Do you think she is trapped in a bird cage without freedom? Because, that's the phrase that my sister uses to describe herself every time she is in an argument with my mom. What can I do to help my poor mom that is already stressed out by other problems, not to mention she has a weak body? While we are at it, tell us some of your family problems that you don't mind sharing. Cheers.

Here is the thing about family, you can help out as much as you can, but at the end of the day they are there own person who need to figure out life for themselves. If your sister was ten or thirteen, even sixteen then yeah you could step in moreso to help out, but she's 23. She is a big girl who may somehow turn her shit around or may go down a tougher path.

I do have to say she shouldn't be acting this way from what you've said. She sounds far too immature and disrespectful, but hopefully she gets her act together at some point.

Anyways ther then that you just deal with this stuff when it happens, talk with your sister when you have to and other then that she isn't your problem. I have crazy, immature, pety, and stubborn family members personally. I try to talk with them about things every now and then, but they don't ever listen so I just let it go and move on afree wards. You have to make sure you come first every now and then so that you are safe and secure enough to handle others issues and only handle them to the best of your abilities.

Slap the little princess and show her how free she is, she might open her eyes for once.
Seriously if I had 1000$ a month I'd be happy. I get shit.

I don't have family problems, I just actively avoid my mothers side of the family so I don't have to talk to them. It's not that I don't like them I just don't care about them enough to try.

Your sister sounds like my half sister. She's 15 and acts like a spoiled princess all the time. My dad has trouble dealing with her cause she gets into fights at school and pretty much disrespects everyone who isn't her friend. I don't know why she behaves like this. My guess is that she picks it up from her mom's side of the family. No offense to her mom, but I don't think she is raising her kids properly, cause I hear they all seem to have attitude issues. I can only hope that its just a phase and she'll grow out of it when she reaches adulthood. I love her, but at the same time, I don't like her.

I avoid my mother's side of the family if I can. So much drama and bollocks between my mother and the rest of them, rather just steer clear of all that.

My dad doesn't speak to his side of the family due to a financial dispute between him and his brother (my uncle) which has gone on for far too long now.

Jesus christ a thousands dollars for allowance?!?! She's fucking lucky too even have that much I never got allowance for anything. Cut her off, Make her pay her own bills etc, MAKE HER WORK. Learn some self discipline. Hell maybe scare her into having too pay rent or kick her out of the house until she realizes how good she has it.

Oh, my step brother is overweight and has autism. He can't say sentences and understands some words so its pretty hard and never was a normal life for us.

Wait, she gets a grand a month, no strings attached, does not pay rent on her room, and is having college paid for, and can still find things to complain about? The deal I had with my parents prior to moving out was that I could live there rent free provided I did as they said and was either working full time and actually saving up money, or going to school. Your sister needs to get her head out of her conceded ass and get her act togather, and you or your mother have to stop putting up with her shenanagins.

Pretty much everything you do will likely not affect your sister positively. And your sister will just take it out on your mother, and create more stress for you.

My suggestion is to find a way to get a trained professional to intercede in the matter. You want a happy family, and most of what you do will just make things worse, as it's your sister that needs help, or an "adjustment" to her attitude to make the situation better.

23 years old? $1000 a month allowance?!?...

There is only one solution, murder her and make it look like a suicide.

-a pissed off uni student

Getting a professional to step in? Reminds me of the South Park episode where Eric's Mom called in the dog whisperer to make him behave.

The solution is simple, her.

I have a love/hate relationship with my closest family. I don't rly like the rest...

Well, family will always be a fickle thing at one point or another. As much as you can drill and drone on about them, it's up to them to change. My younger brother was in a similar situation, "choked" but spoiled. At some point, it was decided to give him an ultimatum and let him be completely independent. The only thing was basic support allowances, like a stipend, but little other intervention otherwise. There was even little contact between us and him, whether he tried or not. Eventually, it was this "put things into perspective" experience that set him straight. Can I imagine the same thing with your sister, it depends. As for yourside, it seems like your doing all you can. Just stick around for when she needs, you yes? But REEALLY needs you, not for petty things

Oh well, I was given the 'spare the rod spoil the child' treatment until junior high, and though I hated it when I was punished thinking back on it it was probably harder for my parents to administer the punishment itself seeing as how nobody likes to hurt someone they love. My family isn't that well off financially but we love each other and when the world rejects us there's always family to fall back on.

Your parents aren't hard enough on your sister and if she's by now a young adult then there's no easy way for her to change her ways. Your sister's lucky enough to have a 1000 dollar allowance per month and I just find it appalling that she's not satisfied. If anything she's been spoiled way too much. If your mom truly wants to save her she'd kick your sister out and have her learn how to survive on her own instead of leeching off the parents. Your sister will hate your mother for it but think of like this; by kicking her out and forcing her into a sink or swim scenario she's helping her prepare for the future.

Oh and by kicking her out your mother is granting her the freedom she wanted so badly.

Your mothers sure has it tough...

Since your sister complains about not having freedom, I offer your mom one solution.

Kick her out. She's an adult legally and for both yours and your mom's sake, she has got to go.

This is, of course, a last resort.

She's fucking 23. By 18 you are no longer a dependent on your parents. I dropped out of my university and had to get a job at McDonalds to pay for my art school. Now that I'm 21, my parents tell me I have to pay for the rent as well (so I'm currently looking for apartments).

1000 per month is spoiled as fuck. I get maybe 800 dollars a month, and that's from working part-time. I don't have to pay for food, but I still have to live in the house. I have to pay for lunch most of the time though, since my parents work all day.

Tell your mom to kick her out. At least force her to find a job so she can support herself. There's babying, and then there is plain making her worse. Paying for all her stuff is just going to make her lazier and lazier.

I have an uncle who is a bonafide NEET. My dad and my grandma are the only ones willing to let him stay. The other brother and sister refuse to even consider letting him stay at their house. He has no job, and quit school. He said he was taking a test to be certified for acupuncture, but failed the test multiple times and only alludes to actually trying. He eats the food at our house, refuses to pay rent (and even his phone bill), and all the money he gets to pay for his car he gets from selling assembled gun parts. He's 56 now and hasn't had a job in 12 years. He couldn't even take care of his son (who lived with us for about a year while I was in middle school) so his ex-wife does it mainly. Nobody on my dad's side family wants to deal with him, and my own dad has reached his limit in patience and is kicking him out. He even said to call the police if we were going to kick him out.

Trust me, if your sister continues like this she's going to end up like my uncle. I honestly think you're gonna have to do an ultimatum and kick her out. She can't claim stuff like child abuse because she isn't a child anymore. Your mother isn't legally obliged to take care of her.

23 yrs. old and 1000 dollar a month? That girl needs to have the shit slapped out of her. Seriously!

[size=10]Children are children until they are kicked out of the nest.
Your parents love you because I know my mom would not give my sister worth shit because of how abusive she is. Hell, she wouldn't give us allowance because she didn't "believe" in it.
Eventually your sister will have to be pushed out the nest and she won't know what to do with herself but she'll figure it out.[/h]