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Funny naughty stories/ Funny sexual experiences

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0
Power-Senpai This is very custom.
11 years ago
thanielle wrote...
not as exciting as yours but I have two actually

happened while I was pregnant

when I was pregnant on my first child, my bf and I were having sex; due to anatomical changes in my body the only comfortable position is the cowgirl style
so at the time I orgasmed, since being with child, it's in the way of my bladder functioning properly I came so hard I squirted and peed all over him needless to say he was soaked and also the futon. IDK if it's good news but he now has a fetish on squirting orgasm.

on our way to having a second child I suddenly had complications that the doctors deemed it a 'high risk pregnancy' obviously sex was out of the list
I felt sorry for him so I give him blowjobs to give him relief
during giving him head I gagged on his dick and puked
cleanup was a mess (curly pubic hair and all)


oooh i can only imagine how awkard it must have been when you puked...
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
Misaki_Chi wrote...

Make sure to go slow and use lot's of lube!!


I've been on the recieving end it it so i know the importance of lube :P


Coconutt wrote...

You two have one of the most awesome friendships i have ever heard! This is like a summer movie story material :D!!


Haha! Not sure any producer would want to touch a script about this XD

thanielle wrote...
not as exciting as yours but I have two actually

happened while I was pregnant

when I was pregnant on my first child, my bf and I were having sex; due to anatomical changes in my body the only comfortable position is the cowgirl style
so at the time I orgasmed, since being with child, it's in the way of my bladder functioning properly I came so hard I squirted and peed all over him needless to say he was soaked and also the futon. IDK if it's good news but he now has a fetish on squirting orgasm.

on our way to having a second child I suddenly had complications that the doctors deemed it a 'high risk pregnancy' obviously sex was out of the list
I felt sorry for him so I give him blowjobs to give him relief
during giving him head I gagged on his dick and puked
cleanup was a mess (curly pubic hair and all)


Woah.. But to be fair. Cleanup after a bj is still a mess XD

I'll add a short story to the thread too:
So one day i decided to check out this new fancy thing that was called chatroulette. "This is going to be fun. I'll be able to chat with people from all over the world!" I thought as i typed the url into the browser bar..
I set up my webcam and i clicked start.
It connected to another person.
Then i just saw a dick that shot straight onto his webcam...
5 seconds into my first call i was spunked at.
Never touched it again after that...
0
Sprite
11 years ago
Gravity cat wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
If you've got something you'd like to post then post it :)
It would probably be fun if there are some stories that people can relate to

Like for instance. The first time i was with another girl i was so nervous that i got one of those anime perv nosebleeds. And i did not notice until she shoved a tampon in my nose XD


The first time I gave oral she stank in the nether regions. It was so bad I had to breathe through my mouth or else I'd have been physically sick. Kept going like a bro though. But man, an experience like that puts you off it for life.


Yeah... I feel ya.
1
mdarkanima
11 years ago
I think the time me and my SO went at it for like an hour and a half because neither one of us could finish. We tried everything then later on just gave up. I think it was partially because it was 100 degrees in our room, it's hard to get off when you feel like you're going to die of head exhaustion.
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
mdarkanima wrote...
I think the time me and my current SO went at it for like an hour and a half because neither one of us could finish. We tried everything then later on just gave up. I think it was partially because it was 100 degrees in our room, it's hard to get off when you feel like you're going to die of head exhaustion.


Woah. That sounds horrible :/
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
So here's what happened with me and my friend from the first story.
I'll name this story: Admiral ackbar was right!
It's not a very short story so i put it in what i hope to be a spoiler tag.

Spoiler:

So as some of you know he wanted to try out having someone help out with his happy time
So i ordered some stuff:

Check the second spoiler tag for this. Can't figure out how to put spoilers in spoilers :/

You can probably imagine how big the box was.. And that's not all of it

And after i came home with the box i was like a kid on christmas :P
Wrappers flew around and after i had gone through the cleaning process i put them back in their boxes and called my friend.. He wouldn't be home for quite a while..
So we got together today instead since we both had the day off and could take our time.
And i cleaned myself properly the night before so i could use the jolly during the fun.

When i arrived at his place he was just chilling on the couch playing some street fighter 4
And who can resist that game? So we played for a good while (And i kicked his ass with both ibuki and cammy :D) And then i showed him what i bought.
He went through them and pretended to be an art appraiser XD
That broke the awkwardness completely and we moved into the bedroom.
We both undressed because of reasons
And as we had discussed beforehand i took charge and pushed him onto the bed.
Then i gave him item number 5 on the list and ordered him to get ready while i changed my outfit.
To give you an idea of what i looked like. Here are the items i got for this

Check the third spoiler tag for what was in here. Can't get spoilers to work within spoilers :/

When i entered the room he burst out laughing.. But i guess that's to be expected when your best friend who is a very nice and caring person comes into the room wearing essentially a dominatrix outfit XD
Thankfully this mix of shame,awkwardness,horniness and anticipation helped me get into the role of a mean dominatrix. (and i had studied this for waay too long the night before.. My browing history is scary)
While i was gone he had warmed up pretty nicely with the dildo and was pretty much ready for me.
But since he laughed i wasn't going to let him off that easy.
I grabbed the blindfold from the box and the fuzzy cuffs that he already owns from his nightstand.
(He keeps fuzzy handcuffs next to his bed almost all the time)
And i locked him to his headboard with the blindfold on :P
He was a bit anxious at first and while i let him wait he got pretty damn hard.
I think i waited for about 5 minutes before i grabbed the remote for the dildo he had in his butt and cranked the vibrations to absolute maximum. Then i leaned in and wispered into his ear
”if you can handle this for ten minutes i'll reward you with something fun”

That was a bit of strategy on my part because i spent the next 4 minutes in his kitchen wondering what the hell i was supposed to do next. And trying to calm my nerves with a smoke...
Then when i finally decided on what to do i walked back into the room.
And im not going to lie. I was so nervous i was shaking but i tried to keep calm anyways.
I made sure to sneak in and slowly make my way onto the bed so he wouldn't notice me.
But i suspect he had other things on his mind since he was bucking his hips and breathing heavily.

I decided to tease him by running my index finger along the length of his shaft slowly.
And since he was leaking precum there was no lack of lubrication in any way.
”Hey that's cheating!” He gasped XD
I found out later that he had saved his load for this so he really had to fight hard at the time :D

After the 5 minutes of my finger moving all over his dick i got bored and decided to let him go.
But i had him keep the blindfold on and then i asked him a simple quesion.
”Pick a number between 1 and 10”
Obviously he responded with ”Why”
And then i told him that depending on what number he picked i'd use one of the strap ons instead of the other.
(I had decided that the double sided one would be uneven numbers and the other one would be even numbers)
He picked 4 as a number... Not much fun on my end of the strap :/
But then the dildo with the best name got some use too :) ”The jolly” That just makes me smile XD

So i had that in my butt and then i pulled on the strap on after that so it kept it in place.
The skirt had to come off though :/ And that wasn't very easy to get out of..
Then i pushed him down onto his stomach, Lubed him up a bit more and got on top of him.
I couldn't help teasing him for a bit first though. Rubbing the tip between his cheeks and prodding a few times before i put the tip against his hole and slowly sunk into him.
Then i just relaxed while laying on his back as he moaned and relaxed.

At that point i teased him a bit more by having him beg for it :)
And when i was satisfied with his response i started to gyrate my hips very slowly while keeping all my weight on it. This made him moan a bit more. And then i started pulling it out further on each stroke until i was feeding him the whole length on every stroke.
And every time i pulled out the harness pushed against the ”Jolly” in my butt so i was getting some pleasure too :)
It did not take long before he told me that he couldn't hold it much longer.
At that point i pulled out and i rolled him over on his back.

He still had the blindfold on and i leaned in to wisper in his ear again.
I had decided eariler to try out this next bit so i wispered
”Ever heard of snowballing”
He just gasped. But his dick made it obvious that he knew what it was as it was so hard that it looked extremely painfull.
Then i grabbed his dick really hard and told him to tell me when he got close to cumming.
I was just planning to jerk him off but in the heat of the moment i started sucking on it...
It took him about a minute to ”Warn” me by shouting ”OH SHIT!”

That's the moment i regretted my plan to try snowballing :/
I've never been a huge fan of the taste of jizz.. And the amount he pumped out was just ridiculous...
By that i mean that my mouth was damn near filled with that thick nasty just.. yuck..
And when he had emptied his balls (And wherever else he was storing all that...)
I moved over (While going EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW! In my mind)
And kissed him properly and moved as much of it over into his mouth as i could.

When i was done with the kiss i bolted up and grabbed his bacardi and dulled the taste of jizz.
And then when my friend came to and wasn't in that fuzzy orgasm state of half conciousness
i offered the bottle to him too. After he took off the blindfold of course

Now.. This is where the Admiral ackbar referece came from.
After resting a bit and having a bit to drink. And me taking off the strap on he said.
”Im actually really feeling like returning the favour right now”
To which i could only respond ”wait what? Sure why not”. Because the question took me by surprise.
And when he reached for the lube i finally understood the situation and told him that i wasn't on the pill and had no rubbers (and neither did he..) But he just smiled as he reached around me and pulled out the Jolly to get access to my butt. And in my state of being a bit tipsy and horny i lost it..
He was really good with his fingers too..
Then he turned me around and pulled me on top of him so i had my back against his chest.
And after that it was basically (Like i've seen in the sig of one of the members here on fakku)
.. Set sail for dick..
Turns out there was a bit of curiosity in him that was waiting for the right opportunity.

After that he satisfied his curiosity multiple times and in the end i took my pill. So after a shower he got to satisfy his curiosity concerning lady bits too..

And i now have a best friend with benefits that has more stamina than i do..
My hips are still killing me and i am still walking on weak legs..
I don't think he's really 100% gay anymore... And i don't think he was before either..

So in summary.. I spent almost a quarter of my savings to screw a gay guy.
I then ended up being screwed ten times as hard and much myself...
And then to add insult to injury he HUMILIATED me in NHL 2012.. 22-0 goals..

+ I am going to bring my gaming pc to his house for a lan party after i've posted this.
And it's a sleepover... help?..


Spoiler:

http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/so-real-strap-on
http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/vibrating-double-delight-strap-on
http://www.passionofsweden.se/baksaker/jolly
http://www.passionofsweden.se/vibratorer/double-penetrator-dildo-med-vibrator
http://www.passionofsweden.se/vibratorer/curved-dong-vibrator
http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/xxxl-black
That one was more of a curious purchase
http://www.passionofsweden.se/glidmedel/pjur-power-500-ml


Spoiler:

http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/hoga-lack-handskar
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/stockings-i-nat-med-spetshofthallare
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/lack-korsett
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/lack-kjol
http://www.passionofsweden.se/bondage-sm/deluxe-fantasy-love-mask
1
Iamnotchrishansen Jiggy Blackson
11 years ago
Gravity cat wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
If you've got something you'd like to post then post it :)
It would probably be fun if there are some stories that people can relate to

Like for instance. The first time i was with another girl i was so nervous that i got one of those anime perv nosebleeds. And i did not notice until she shoved a tampon in my nose XD


The first time I gave oral she stank in the nether regions. It was so bad I had to breathe through my mouth or else I'd have been physically sick. Kept going like a bro though. But man, an experience like that puts you off it for life.


I've had nothing funny of note that happened during my experiences, but I had a friend that went down on a girl, she queefed in his face and he passed out.
0
shimoyake
11 years ago
saishothewriter wrote...
So here's what happened with me and my friend from the first story.
I'll name this story: Admiral ackbar was right!
It's not a very short story so i put it in what i hope to be a spoiler tag.

Spoiler:

So as some of you know he wanted to try out having someone help out with his happy time
So i ordered some stuff:

Check the second spoiler tag for this. Can't figure out how to put spoilers in spoilers :/

You can probably imagine how big the box was.. And that's not all of it

And after i came home with the box i was like a kid on christmas :P
Wrappers flew around and after i had gone through the cleaning process i put them back in their boxes and called my friend.. He wouldn't be home for quite a while..
So we got together today instead since we both had the day off and could take our time.
And i cleaned myself properly the night before so i could use the jolly during the fun.

When i arrived at his place he was just chilling on the couch playing some street fighter 4
And who can resist that game? So we played for a good while (And i kicked his ass with both ibuki and cammy :D) And then i showed him what i bought.
He went through them and pretended to be an art appraiser XD
That broke the awkwardness completely and we moved into the bedroom.
We both undressed because of reasons
And as we had discussed beforehand i took charge and pushed him onto the bed.
Then i gave him item number 5 on the list and ordered him to get ready while i changed my outfit.
To give you an idea of what i looked like. Here are the items i got for this

Check the third spoiler tag for what was in here. Can't get spoilers to work within spoilers :/

When i entered the room he burst out laughing.. But i guess that's to be expected when your best friend who is a very nice and caring person comes into the room wearing essentially a dominatrix outfit XD
Thankfully this mix of shame,awkwardness,horniness and anticipation helped me get into the role of a mean dominatrix. (and i had studied this for waay too long the night before.. My browing history is scary)
While i was gone he had warmed up pretty nicely with the dildo and was pretty much ready for me.
But since he laughed i wasn't going to let him off that easy.
I grabbed the blindfold from the box and the fuzzy cuffs that he already owns from his nightstand.
(He keeps fuzzy handcuffs next to his bed almost all the time)
And i locked him to his headboard with the blindfold on :P
He was a bit anxious at first and while i let him wait he got pretty damn hard.
I think i waited for about 5 minutes before i grabbed the remote for the dildo he had in his butt and cranked the vibrations to absolute maximum. Then i leaned in and wispered into his ear
”if you can handle this for ten minutes i'll reward you with something fun”

That was a bit of strategy on my part because i spent the next 4 minutes in his kitchen wondering what the hell i was supposed to do next. And trying to calm my nerves with a smoke...
Then when i finally decided on what to do i walked back into the room.
And im not going to lie. I was so nervous i was shaking but i tried to keep calm anyways.
I made sure to sneak in and slowly make my way onto the bed so he wouldn't notice me.
But i suspect he had other things on his mind since he was bucking his hips and breathing heavily.

I decided to tease him by running my index finger along the length of his shaft slowly.
And since he was leaking precum there was no lack of lubrication in any way.
”Hey that's cheating!” He gasped XD
I found out later that he had saved his load for this so he really had to fight hard at the time :D

After the 5 minutes of my finger moving all over his dick i got bored and decided to let him go.
But i had him keep the blindfold on and then i asked him a simple quesion.
”Pick a number between 1 and 10”
Obviously he responded with ”Why”
And then i told him that depending on what number he picked i'd use one of the strap ons instead of the other.
(I had decided that the double sided one would be uneven numbers and the other one would be even numbers)
He picked 4 as a number... Not much fun on my end of the strap :/
But then the dildo with the best name got some use too :) ”The jolly” That just makes me smile XD

So i had that in my butt and then i pulled on the strap on after that so it kept it in place.
The skirt had to come off though :/ And that wasn't very easy to get out of..
Then i pushed him down onto his stomach, Lubed him up a bit more and got on top of him.
I couldn't help teasing him for a bit first though. Rubbing the tip between his cheeks and prodding a few times before i put the tip against his hole and slowly sunk into him.
Then i just relaxed while laying on his back as he moaned and relaxed.

At that point i teased him a bit more by having him beg for it :)
And when i was satisfied with his response i started to gyrate my hips very slowly while keeping all my weight on it. This made him moan a bit more. And then i started pulling it out further on each stroke until i was feeding him the whole length on every stroke.
And every time i pulled out the harness pushed against the ”Jolly” in my butt so i was getting some pleasure too :)
It did not take long before he told me that he couldn't hold it much longer.
At that point i pulled out and i rolled him over on his back.

He still had the blindfold on and i leaned in to wisper in his ear again.
I had decided eariler to try out this next bit so i wispered
”Ever heard of snowballing”
He just gasped. But his dick made it obvious that he knew what it was as it was so hard that it looked extremely painfull.
Then i grabbed his dick really hard and told him to tell me when he got close to cumming.
I was just planning to jerk him off but in the heat of the moment i started sucking on it...
It took him about a minute to ”Warn” me by shouting ”OH SHIT!”

That's the moment i regretted my plan to try snowballing :/
I've never been a huge fan of the taste of jizz.. And the amount he pumped out was just ridiculous...
By that i mean that my mouth was damn near filled with that thick nasty just.. yuck..
And when he had emptied his balls (And wherever else he was storing all that...)
I moved over (While going EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW! In my mind)
And kissed him properly and moved as much of it over into his mouth as i could.

When i was done with the kiss i bolted up and grabbed his bacardi and dulled the taste of jizz.
And then when my friend came to and wasn't in that fuzzy orgasm state of half conciousness
i offered the bottle to him too. After he took off the blindfold of course

Now.. This is where the Admiral ackbar referece came from.
After resting a bit and having a bit to drink. And me taking off the strap on he said.
”Im actually really feeling like returning the favour right now”
To which i could only respond ”wait what? Sure why not”. Because the question took me by surprise.
And when he reached for the lube i finally understood the situation and told him that i wasn't on the pill and had no rubbers (and neither did he..) But he just smiled as he reached around me and pulled out the Jolly to get access to my butt. And in my state of being a bit tipsy and horny i lost it..
He was really good with his fingers too..
Then he turned me around and pulled me on top of him so i had my back against his chest.
And after that it was basically (Like i've seen in the sig of one of the members here on fakku)
.. Set sail for dick..
Turns out there was a bit of curiosity in him that was waiting for the right opportunity.

After that he satisfied his curiosity multiple times and in the end i took my pill. So after a shower he got to satisfy his curiosity concerning lady bits too..

And i now have a best friend with benefits that has more stamina than i do..
My hips are still killing me and i am still walking on weak legs..
I don't think he's really 100% gay anymore... And i don't think he was before either..

So in summary.. I spent almost a quarter of my savings to screw a gay guy.
I then ended up being screwed ten times as hard and much myself...
And then to add insult to injury he HUMILIATED me in NHL 2012.. 22-0 goals..

+ I am going to bring my gaming pc to his house for a lan party after i've posted this.
And it's a sleepover... help?..


Spoiler:

http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/so-real-strap-on
http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/vibrating-double-delight-strap-on
http://www.passionofsweden.se/baksaker/jolly
http://www.passionofsweden.se/vibratorer/double-penetrator-dildo-med-vibrator
http://www.passionofsweden.se/vibratorer/curved-dong-vibrator
http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/xxxl-black
That one was more of a curious purchase
http://www.passionofsweden.se/glidmedel/pjur-power-500-ml


Spoiler:

http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/hoga-lack-handskar
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/stockings-i-nat-med-spetshofthallare
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/lack-korsett
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/lack-kjol
http://www.passionofsweden.se/bondage-sm/deluxe-fantasy-love-mask
Well I guess I'll be the one to say it. Pics of you in the outfit?
But seriously that it is a very odd and erotic story. kinda a turn on though.
0
artcellrox The Grey Knight :y
11 years ago
saishothewriter wrote...
So here's what happened with me and my friend from the first story.
I'll name this story: Admiral ackbar was right!
It's not a very short story so i put it in what i hope to be a spoiler tag.

Spoiler:

So as some of you know he wanted to try out having someone help out with his happy time
So i ordered some stuff:

Check the second spoiler tag for this. Can't figure out how to put spoilers in spoilers :/

You can probably imagine how big the box was.. And that's not all of it

And after i came home with the box i was like a kid on christmas :P
Wrappers flew around and after i had gone through the cleaning process i put them back in their boxes and called my friend.. He wouldn't be home for quite a while..
So we got together today instead since we both had the day off and could take our time.
And i cleaned myself properly the night before so i could use the jolly during the fun.

When i arrived at his place he was just chilling on the couch playing some street fighter 4
And who can resist that game? So we played for a good while (And i kicked his ass with both ibuki and cammy :D) And then i showed him what i bought.
He went through them and pretended to be an art appraiser XD
That broke the awkwardness completely and we moved into the bedroom.
We both undressed because of reasons
And as we had discussed beforehand i took charge and pushed him onto the bed.
Then i gave him item number 5 on the list and ordered him to get ready while i changed my outfit.
To give you an idea of what i looked like. Here are the items i got for this

Check the third spoiler tag for what was in here. Can't get spoilers to work within spoilers :/

When i entered the room he burst out laughing.. But i guess that's to be expected when your best friend who is a very nice and caring person comes into the room wearing essentially a dominatrix outfit XD
Thankfully this mix of shame,awkwardness,horniness and anticipation helped me get into the role of a mean dominatrix. (and i had studied this for waay too long the night before.. My browing history is scary)
While i was gone he had warmed up pretty nicely with the dildo and was pretty much ready for me.
But since he laughed i wasn't going to let him off that easy.
I grabbed the blindfold from the box and the fuzzy cuffs that he already owns from his nightstand.
(He keeps fuzzy handcuffs next to his bed almost all the time)
And i locked him to his headboard with the blindfold on :P
He was a bit anxious at first and while i let him wait he got pretty damn hard.
I think i waited for about 5 minutes before i grabbed the remote for the dildo he had in his butt and cranked the vibrations to absolute maximum. Then i leaned in and wispered into his ear
”if you can handle this for ten minutes i'll reward you with something fun”

That was a bit of strategy on my part because i spent the next 4 minutes in his kitchen wondering what the hell i was supposed to do next. And trying to calm my nerves with a smoke...
Then when i finally decided on what to do i walked back into the room.
And im not going to lie. I was so nervous i was shaking but i tried to keep calm anyways.
I made sure to sneak in and slowly make my way onto the bed so he wouldn't notice me.
But i suspect he had other things on his mind since he was bucking his hips and breathing heavily.

I decided to tease him by running my index finger along the length of his shaft slowly.
And since he was leaking precum there was no lack of lubrication in any way.
”Hey that's cheating!” He gasped XD
I found out later that he had saved his load for this so he really had to fight hard at the time :D

After the 5 minutes of my finger moving all over his dick i got bored and decided to let him go.
But i had him keep the blindfold on and then i asked him a simple quesion.
”Pick a number between 1 and 10”
Obviously he responded with ”Why”
And then i told him that depending on what number he picked i'd use one of the strap ons instead of the other.
(I had decided that the double sided one would be uneven numbers and the other one would be even numbers)
He picked 4 as a number... Not much fun on my end of the strap :/
But then the dildo with the best name got some use too :) ”The jolly” That just makes me smile XD

So i had that in my butt and then i pulled on the strap on after that so it kept it in place.
The skirt had to come off though :/ And that wasn't very easy to get out of..
Then i pushed him down onto his stomach, Lubed him up a bit more and got on top of him.
I couldn't help teasing him for a bit first though. Rubbing the tip between his cheeks and prodding a few times before i put the tip against his hole and slowly sunk into him.
Then i just relaxed while laying on his back as he moaned and relaxed.

At that point i teased him a bit more by having him beg for it :)
And when i was satisfied with his response i started to gyrate my hips very slowly while keeping all my weight on it. This made him moan a bit more. And then i started pulling it out further on each stroke until i was feeding him the whole length on every stroke.
And every time i pulled out the harness pushed against the ”Jolly” in my butt so i was getting some pleasure too :)
It did not take long before he told me that he couldn't hold it much longer.
At that point i pulled out and i rolled him over on his back.

He still had the blindfold on and i leaned in to wisper in his ear again.
I had decided eariler to try out this next bit so i wispered
”Ever heard of snowballing”
He just gasped. But his dick made it obvious that he knew what it was as it was so hard that it looked extremely painfull.
Then i grabbed his dick really hard and told him to tell me when he got close to cumming.
I was just planning to jerk him off but in the heat of the moment i started sucking on it...
It took him about a minute to ”Warn” me by shouting ”OH SHIT!”

That's the moment i regretted my plan to try snowballing :/
I've never been a huge fan of the taste of jizz.. And the amount he pumped out was just ridiculous...
By that i mean that my mouth was damn near filled with that thick nasty just.. yuck..
And when he had emptied his balls (And wherever else he was storing all that...)
I moved over (While going EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW!EW! In my mind)
And kissed him properly and moved as much of it over into his mouth as i could.

When i was done with the kiss i bolted up and grabbed his bacardi and dulled the taste of jizz.
And then when my friend came to and wasn't in that fuzzy orgasm state of half conciousness
i offered the bottle to him too. After he took off the blindfold of course

Now.. This is where the Admiral ackbar referece came from.
After resting a bit and having a bit to drink. And me taking off the strap on he said.
”Im actually really feeling like returning the favour right now”
To which i could only respond ”wait what? Sure why not”. Because the question took me by surprise.
And when he reached for the lube i finally understood the situation and told him that i wasn't on the pill and had no rubbers (and neither did he..) But he just smiled as he reached around me and pulled out the Jolly to get access to my butt. And in my state of being a bit tipsy and horny i lost it..
He was really good with his fingers too..
Then he turned me around and pulled me on top of him so i had my back against his chest.
And after that it was basically (Like i've seen in the sig of one of the members here on fakku)
.. Set sail for dick..
Turns out there was a bit of curiosity in him that was waiting for the right opportunity.

After that he satisfied his curiosity multiple times and in the end i took my pill. So after a shower he got to satisfy his curiosity concerning lady bits too..

And i now have a best friend with benefits that has more stamina than i do..
My hips are still killing me and i am still walking on weak legs..
I don't think he's really 100% gay anymore... And i don't think he was before either..

So in summary.. I spent almost a quarter of my savings to screw a gay guy.
I then ended up being screwed ten times as hard and much myself...
And then to add insult to injury he HUMILIATED me in NHL 2012.. 22-0 goals..

+ I am going to bring my gaming pc to his house for a lan party after i've posted this.
And it's a sleepover... help?..


Spoiler:

http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/so-real-strap-on
http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/vibrating-double-delight-strap-on
http://www.passionofsweden.se/baksaker/jolly
http://www.passionofsweden.se/vibratorer/double-penetrator-dildo-med-vibrator
http://www.passionofsweden.se/vibratorer/curved-dong-vibrator
http://www.passionofsweden.se/dildos/xxxl-black
That one was more of a curious purchase
http://www.passionofsweden.se/glidmedel/pjur-power-500-ml


Spoiler:

http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/hoga-lack-handskar
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/stockings-i-nat-med-spetshofthallare
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/lack-korsett
http://www.passionofsweden.se/underklader/lack-kjol
http://www.passionofsweden.se/bondage-sm/deluxe-fantasy-love-mask


Well, that was certainly a hot (and even a little funny) adventure you had. Grats on having a fuck buddy now.

Also, to clarify, unfortunately there is no way to put spoilers within spoilers.
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
shimoyake wrote...
Well I guess I'll be the one to say it. Pics of you in the outfit?
But seriously that it is a very odd and erotic story. kinda a turn on though.


I have a picture of her in my phone. And i think ill keep that private ;)
/Saishos buddy

artcellrox wrote...


Well, that was certainly a hot (and even a little funny) adventure you had. Grats on having a fuck buddy now.

Also, to clarify, unfortunately there is no way to put spoilers within spoilers.


Thanks :) And yeah. Some bit's are quite funny to read right now XD
And the spoiler thing is good to know :)
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
I suspect i'll have more funny stories to tell if this keeps up...
Im still at my buddys place and i lost a race in forza..
The bet was a punishment game to the loser..

So i was under the desk just moments ago fulfilling one of the parts of the punishment game. (bj..) And suddently i hear him say
"Oh you keep yourself logged into facebook at all times?"
Fearing a so called "facerape" i recoiled back to get out of my positon and hopefully log out of facebook before he could write anything on my facebook..

Unfortunately i had not thought of the desk.. So i hit my head on the underside of the desk. And then i reflexively recoiled forwards.
And as his dick was still in my mouth there was only one way for it to go..
I thought my first deepthroat experience would be different..
Yeah.. I sounded like Harvey Fierstein for a while after that..

And now he's sitting on a chair next to me playing with the remote for a dildo.
Makin grammar a very hard thing to focus on..
0
artcellrox The Grey Knight :y
11 years ago
saishothewriter wrote...
I suspect i'll have more funny stories to tell if this keeps up...
Im still at my buddys place and i lost a race in forza..
The bet was a punishment game to the loser..

So i was under the desk just moments ago fulfilling one of the parts of the punishment game. (bj..) And suddently i hear him say
"Oh you keep yourself logged into facebook at all times?"
Fearing a so called "facerape" i recoiled back to get out of my positon and hopefully log out of facebook before he could write anything on my facebook..

Unfortunately i had not thought of the desk.. So i hit my head on the underside of the desk. And then i reflexively recoiled forwards.
And as his dick was still in my mouth there was only one way for it to go..
I thought my first deepthroat experience would be different..
Yeah.. I sounded like Harvey Fierstein for a while after that..

And now he's sitting on a chair next to me playing with the remote for a dildo.
Makin grammar a very hard thing to focus on..


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)
0
Coconutt
11 years ago
saishothewriter wrote...
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)


Yeah, break the savings and go buy a hd video camera!
1
saishothewriter
11 years ago
Coconutt wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)


Yeah, break the savings and go buy a hd video camera!


After reading your comment we did play around in front of his camera...

We both looked like this when we watched it
Spoiler:

Forum Image: http://i1259.photobucket.com/albums/ii547/theread2/Cat-Looks-Shocked_zps929ab755.jpg
0
shimoyake
11 years ago
saishothewriter wrote...
Coconutt wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)


Yeah, break the savings and go buy a hd video camera!


After reading your comment we did play around in front of his camera...

We both looked like this when we watched it
Spoiler:

Forum Image: http://i1259.photobucket.com/albums/ii547/theread2/Cat-Looks-Shocked_zps929ab755.jpg
America's funniest home sex video's?
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
shimoyake wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
Coconutt wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)


Yeah, break the savings and go buy a hd video camera!


After reading your comment we did play around in front of his camera...

We both looked like this when we watched it
Spoiler:

Forum Image: http://i1259.photobucket.com/albums/ii547/theread2/Cat-Looks-Shocked_zps929ab755.jpg
America's funniest home sex video's?


Well.. There was a lot of awqward positioning to account for the camera.
And then my friend thought it would be fun to wink at the camera..
That ended up looking soo wrong that it wasn't even funny

I think it's safe to say that we aren't pornstar material XD
2
artcellrox The Grey Knight :y
11 years ago
saishothewriter wrote...
shimoyake wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
Coconutt wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)


Yeah, break the savings and go buy a hd video camera!


After reading your comment we did play around in front of his camera...

We both looked like this when we watched it
Spoiler:

Forum Image: http://i1259.photobucket.com/albums/ii547/theread2/Cat-Looks-Shocked_zps929ab755.jpg
America's funniest home sex video's?


Well.. There was a lot of awqward positioning to account for the camera.
And then my friend thought it would be fun to wink at the camera..
That ended up looking soo wrong that it wasn't even funny

I think it's safe to say that we aren't pornstar material XD


What you fail to realize is that amateur shit like that is what makes the best porn. Not the fake stuff you see in Brazzers or whatever.
0
saishothewriter
11 years ago
artcellrox wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
shimoyake wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
Coconutt wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)


Yeah, break the savings and go buy a hd video camera!


After reading your comment we did play around in front of his camera...

We both looked like this when we watched it
Spoiler:

Forum Image: http://i1259.photobucket.com/albums/ii547/theread2/Cat-Looks-Shocked_zps929ab755.jpg
America's funniest home sex video's?


Well.. There was a lot of awqward positioning to account for the camera.
And then my friend thought it would be fun to wink at the camera..
That ended up looking soo wrong that it wasn't even funny

I think it's safe to say that we aren't pornstar material XD


What you fail to realize is that amateur shit like that is what makes the best porn. Not the fake stuff you see in Brazzers or whatever.


Yes but that wink was a bit too much.. It was so awqward that pulling the mr.bean "If you know what i mean" face would've been sexy in comparison D:
0
shimoyake
11 years ago
artcellrox wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
shimoyake wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
Coconutt wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
artcellrox wrote...


You two should start charging for what you do to each other. You'd make a killing, lol.


Im going to be here for the rest of the week :O one of us would end up broke
(and the other one would end up being very sore XD)


Yeah, break the savings and go buy a hd video camera!


After reading your comment we did play around in front of his camera...

We both looked like this when we watched it
Spoiler:

Forum Image: http://i1259.photobucket.com/albums/ii547/theread2/Cat-Looks-Shocked_zps929ab755.jpg
America's funniest home sex video's?


Well.. There was a lot of awqward positioning to account for the camera.
And then my friend thought it would be fun to wink at the camera..
That ended up looking soo wrong that it wasn't even funny

I think it's safe to say that we aren't pornstar material XD


What you fail to realize is that amateur shit like that is what makes the best porn. Not the fake stuff you see in Brazzers or whatever.
This soooo true
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