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Funny naughty stories/ Funny sexual experiences
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So during sex with my first girlfriend, I said some pretty stupid crap (partially due the fact that me and another friend were like dude say that it would be hilarious) and thankfully she was a good sport about it and even played along with it sometimes.
One day after watching a certain star trek movie cilp, me and my buddy had the crem de la crem of stupid shit to say, and I was ready to deploy it during my next romp. So normally I told her about it before I said it so I didn't appear to much of an idiot but this was to be done when I was cuming.
So as I'm doing my thing to my girlfriend on the couch basement, doggystyle for best results of course, I feel things about to 'come to fruition' I give one final thrust and yell "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN"
Now I laughed, my girlfriend nearly died from laughter, but my parents who I thought were gone did not find it so funny.. nor did they enjoy catching there son in the act.
I got busted by Star Trek....
One day after watching a certain star trek movie cilp, me and my buddy had the crem de la crem of stupid shit to say, and I was ready to deploy it during my next romp. So normally I told her about it before I said it so I didn't appear to much of an idiot but this was to be done when I was cuming.
So as I'm doing my thing to my girlfriend on the couch basement, doggystyle for best results of course, I feel things about to 'come to fruition' I give one final thrust and yell "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN"
Now I laughed, my girlfriend nearly died from laughter, but my parents who I thought were gone did not find it so funny.. nor did they enjoy catching there son in the act.
I got busted by Star Trek....
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krau27 wrote...
So during sex with my first girlfriend, I said some pretty stupid crap (partially due the fact that me and another friend were like dude say that it would be hilarious) and thankfully she was a good sport about it and even played along with it sometimes.One day after watching a certain star trek movie cilp, me and my buddy had the crem de la crem of stupid shit to say, and I was ready to deploy it during my next romp. So normally I told her about it before I said it so I didn't appear to much of an idiot but this was to be done when I was cuming.
So as I'm doing my thing to my girlfriend on the couch basement, doggystyle for best results of course, I feel things about to 'come to fruition' I give one final thrust and yell "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN"
Now I laughed, my girlfriend nearly died from laughter, but my parents who I thought were gone did not find it so funny.. nor did they enjoy catching there son in the act.
I got busted by Star Trek....
Haha! Epic :D
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saishothewriter wrote...
So here's what happened with me and my friend from the first story.I'll name this story: Admiral ackbar was right!
It's not a very short story so i put it in what i hope to be a spoiler tag.
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
So, I just read this story, and then after, I took a look at your signature (Spoiler tags are what really killed the cat.)
My mom walked into the room to see why I was laughing so hard.
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Fadetoblack wrote...
So, I just read this story, and then after, I took a look at your signature (Spoiler tags are what really killed the cat.)
My mom walked into the room to see why I was laughing so hard.
Sorry about that :/
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GreenZero
Get Jinxed
I don't think I would call this story funny, but more on the interesting side of the spectrum.
Anyway, my mother had a trailer before at a camping and one summer day me, my sister, my classmate/sister's friend, mom and stepdad where there for a weekend, and my classmate, me and my sister slept on couches in the "living room" while mom and stepdad slept in the actual bedroom. My mom and stepdad have been sleeping for quite a while but we three were sitting up, talking and playing games on our cellphones and stuff, at one point me and my classmate go outside cause she was gonna have a smoke while my sister stayed inside, we go onto the topic of sex and all that jazz for some reason and it ends up with me getting to grope her boob.
We go back in, things continue like before and then we decide to go to sleep, so my sister, who is sleeping on the floor on a mattress, falls asleep really quickly.
Me and my classmate are sleeping head to head on an L shaped couch and we decide to continue where we left off, so we start making out, I grope her breasts, I give her a finger fuck and she gives me a blowjob, all while my sister is sleeping less then a meter away.
P.S. We later told my sister about it, at first she didn't believe it but she was just surprised about it, didn't care at all.
Anyway, my mother had a trailer before at a camping and one summer day me, my sister, my classmate/sister's friend, mom and stepdad where there for a weekend, and my classmate, me and my sister slept on couches in the "living room" while mom and stepdad slept in the actual bedroom. My mom and stepdad have been sleeping for quite a while but we three were sitting up, talking and playing games on our cellphones and stuff, at one point me and my classmate go outside cause she was gonna have a smoke while my sister stayed inside, we go onto the topic of sex and all that jazz for some reason and it ends up with me getting to grope her boob.
We go back in, things continue like before and then we decide to go to sleep, so my sister, who is sleeping on the floor on a mattress, falls asleep really quickly.
Me and my classmate are sleeping head to head on an L shaped couch and we decide to continue where we left off, so we start making out, I grope her breasts, I give her a finger fuck and she gives me a blowjob, all while my sister is sleeping less then a meter away.
P.S. We later told my sister about it, at first she didn't believe it but she was just surprised about it, didn't care at all.
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GreenZero wrote...
I don't think I would call this story funny, but more on the interesting side of the spectrum.Anyway, my mother had a trailer before at a camping and one summer day me, my sister, my classmate/sister's friend, mom and stepdad where there for a weekend, and my classmate, me and my sister slept on couches in the "living room" while mom and stepdad slept in the actual bedroom. My mom and stepdad have been sleeping for quite a while but we three were sitting up, talking and playing games on our cellphones and stuff, at one point me and my classmate go outside cause she was gonna have a smoke while my sister stayed inside, we go onto the topic of sex and all that jazz for some reason and it ends up with me getting to grope her boob.
We go back in, things continue like before and then we decide to go to sleep, so my sister, who is sleeping on the floor on a mattress, falls asleep really quickly.
Me and my classmate are sleeping head to head on an L shaped couch and we decide to continue where we left off, so we start making out, I grope her breasts, I give her a finger fuck and she gives me a blowjob, all while my sister is sleeping less then a meter away.
P.S. We later told my sister about it, at first she didn't believe it but she was just surprised about it, didn't care at all.
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Kamebear wrote...
some chick wanted me to finger her in school in front of students walking by.....lolThat must've been.. Interesting ;P
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Personally i want to cry right now..
I was waiting for my f buddy to come home. And we were going to do the
"Welcome home" While i was wearing nothing but an apron.
When i heard the first door open (into the building) i quickly had a drink of water
But then just as i heard the door in front of me being unlocked.. I heard another voice. When i realized who the voice belonged to.. The door opened..
And there my f buddy was.. Next to his mother..
Turns out that he had tried to text me and warn me about it.. But i had my phone on vibrate.. So i missed that..
But his mom was cool about it and high fived my f buddy.. And now she's having a cup of coffee in the kitchen.. And i am blushing quite a bit right now..
This is going to be one awqward visit..
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saishothewriter wrote...
------------------------------------------------
Personally i want to cry right now..
I was waiting for my f buddy to come home. And we were going to do the
"Welcome home" While i was wearing nothing but an apron.
When i heard the first door open (into the building) i quickly had a drink of water
But then just as i heard the door in front of me being unlocked.. I heard another voice. When i realized who the voice belonged to.. The door opened..
And there my f buddy was.. Next to his mother..
Turns out that he had tried to text me and warn me about it.. But i had my phone on vibrate.. So i missed that..
But his mom was cool about it and high fived my f buddy.. And now she's having a cup of coffee in the kitchen.. And i am blushing quite a bit right now..
This is going to be one awqward visit..
Lmfao, that must have been super awkward (especially if you are a dude, and your buddy is also a dude. are you?)
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King Dingaling wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
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Personally i want to cry right now..
I was waiting for my f buddy to come home. And we were going to do the
"Welcome home" While i was wearing nothing but an apron.
When i heard the first door open (into the building) i quickly had a drink of water
But then just as i heard the door in front of me being unlocked.. I heard another voice. When i realized who the voice belonged to.. The door opened..
And there my f buddy was.. Next to his mother..
Turns out that he had tried to text me and warn me about it.. But i had my phone on vibrate.. So i missed that..
But his mom was cool about it and high fived my f buddy.. And now she's having a cup of coffee in the kitchen.. And i am blushing quite a bit right now..
This is going to be one awqward visit..
Lmfao, that must have been super awkward (especially if you are a dude, and your buddy is also a dude. are you?)
Thankfully im all woman.. But daaamn that was awkward.
Especially when she left and did the whole
"I'll leave you two love birds to it now" *Wink* thing as she left..
And what's worse is that she saw the double penetrator dildo and lube on the nightstand...
1
saishothewriter wrote...
King Dingaling wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
------------------------------------------------
Personally i want to cry right now..
I was waiting for my f buddy to come home. And we were going to do the
"Welcome home" While i was wearing nothing but an apron.
When i heard the first door open (into the building) i quickly had a drink of water
But then just as i heard the door in front of me being unlocked.. I heard another voice. When i realized who the voice belonged to.. The door opened..
And there my f buddy was.. Next to his mother..
Turns out that he had tried to text me and warn me about it.. But i had my phone on vibrate.. So i missed that..
But his mom was cool about it and high fived my f buddy.. And now she's having a cup of coffee in the kitchen.. And i am blushing quite a bit right now..
This is going to be one awqward visit..
Lmfao, that must have been super awkward (especially if you are a dude, and your buddy is also a dude. are you?)
Thankfully im all woman.. But daaamn that was awkward.
Especially when she left and did the whole
"I'll leave you two love birds to it now" *Wink* thing as she left..
And what's worse is that she saw the double penetrator dildo and lube on the nightstand...
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King Dingaling wrote...
.. Precisely
But i guess i was lucky in a way..
I was supposed to have the DP dildo in me as i waited.
That would probably have been 200% more embarrasing..
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saishothewriter wrote...
King Dingaling wrote...
.. Precisely
But i guess i was lucky in a way..
I was supposed to have the DP dildo in me as i waited.
That would probably have been 200% more embarrasing..
My question is what was his mother doing there in the first place
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Oh, I have a bunch of these.
This kind of both funny whilst painful. My girlfriend and I decided it was going to be the time to do our thing, so we head down to our usual spot and begin with kissing. So far so good, next we start doing foreplay, I give her oral then she switches to give me oral.
Now here's where it gets bad.
As she is doing it I feel like, a light scratching sensation on my dick, needless to say I ignore it for a while until I put it in her-- that's when I feel burning near the head. I pull out to see that there's a bit of skin missing-- I conclude while she was blowing me her teeth must've scratched a bit of skin off.
This kind of both funny whilst painful. My girlfriend and I decided it was going to be the time to do our thing, so we head down to our usual spot and begin with kissing. So far so good, next we start doing foreplay, I give her oral then she switches to give me oral.
Now here's where it gets bad.
As she is doing it I feel like, a light scratching sensation on my dick, needless to say I ignore it for a while until I put it in her-- that's when I feel burning near the head. I pull out to see that there's a bit of skin missing-- I conclude while she was blowing me her teeth must've scratched a bit of skin off.
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[size=10]The guy I was having sex with was dirty talking to me and said something HUGELY embarrassing and inappropriate and that just ruined the mood so bad I never hooked up with him again.
On another note;
My ex was telling me this story about this mutual friend of ours, James. James tried having anal sex with his girlfriend and he had a big dick like 7 inches so when he finally put all of himself in, he felt something weird. He wasn't wearing a condom so he pulled out and had shit on his dick and when my ex told me that on Skype I started crying so hard that it lasted for 15 minutes. [/h]
On another note;
My ex was telling me this story about this mutual friend of ours, James. James tried having anal sex with his girlfriend and he had a big dick like 7 inches so when he finally put all of himself in, he felt something weird. He wasn't wearing a condom so he pulled out and had shit on his dick and when my ex told me that on Skype I started crying so hard that it lasted for 15 minutes. [/h]
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King Dingaling wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
King Dingaling wrote...
.. Precisely
But i guess i was lucky in a way..
I was supposed to have the DP dildo in me as i waited.
That would probably have been 200% more embarrasing..
My question is what was his mother doing there in the first place
Im at his place :/
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saishothewriter wrote...
King Dingaling wrote...
saishothewriter wrote...
King Dingaling wrote...
.. Precisely
But i guess i was lucky in a way..
I was supposed to have the DP dildo in me as i waited.
That would probably have been 200% more embarrasing..
My question is what was his mother doing there in the first place
Im at his place :/
Oh, i see. Awkward indeed...
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Sheesh, after reading all these stories, I don't think I can ever top those. Compared to that, I'm the most boring person in this forum. I practically have only one story that is roughly worthy of this topic. But one is better than nothing so here it is.
So anyways, I was on my junior year in high school, the school year was coming to a close in a few days. The whole junior class ( roughly 90 students) was taking a field to a small park (not a public park, one of those pay for admission parks) despite it's small size, the park had 2 baseball fields, 6 baseball courts, a few picnic areas, and a pool, the park also had a DJ but I digress. The story happens at the pool area. Roughly a quarter to a third of the class was hanging around there including me and a group of friends I was hanging with. If I remember correctly my group had three guys (including me) and two girls. Anyways my friends I got three random classmates and began playing Marco Polo. It was then my turn to blindly seek, I called out a few time until I felt a presence swim right by me. I then turned and started to follow the person that was by me, I followed until I got the person cornered. I then reached out to grab the person, and then victoriously yelled "gotcha!". What I expected to grab was a shoulder, what I actually grabbed was something soft, something round, something that fits in my hand. The moment I grabbed the round softness, I heard a loud yelp. I quickly opened my eyes to find that I had accidentally groped one of my female friends who was also playing along. I quickly retracted my arm and started profusely apologizing to her. She quickly forgave me and continued playing the game as if nothing happened. After that, two things popped in to my head. First, I thought I deserved to be slapped. Secondly, "Holy Crap! That kind of stuff happens in a comedic slice of life harem anime!". Now that I think back to that exact moment, I think she was a B-cup.
So anyways, I was on my junior year in high school, the school year was coming to a close in a few days. The whole junior class ( roughly 90 students) was taking a field to a small park (not a public park, one of those pay for admission parks) despite it's small size, the park had 2 baseball fields, 6 baseball courts, a few picnic areas, and a pool, the park also had a DJ but I digress. The story happens at the pool area. Roughly a quarter to a third of the class was hanging around there including me and a group of friends I was hanging with. If I remember correctly my group had three guys (including me) and two girls. Anyways my friends I got three random classmates and began playing Marco Polo. It was then my turn to blindly seek, I called out a few time until I felt a presence swim right by me. I then turned and started to follow the person that was by me, I followed until I got the person cornered. I then reached out to grab the person, and then victoriously yelled "gotcha!". What I expected to grab was a shoulder, what I actually grabbed was something soft, something round, something that fits in my hand. The moment I grabbed the round softness, I heard a loud yelp. I quickly opened my eyes to find that I had accidentally groped one of my female friends who was also playing along. I quickly retracted my arm and started profusely apologizing to her. She quickly forgave me and continued playing the game as if nothing happened. After that, two things popped in to my head. First, I thought I deserved to be slapped. Secondly, "Holy Crap! That kind of stuff happens in a comedic slice of life harem anime!". Now that I think back to that exact moment, I think she was a B-cup.
