Girl who doesn't have interest in having relationship
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I have this girl that I have like for about a year, we go to the same highschool and now we continue to the same college too. But only from the last 2 month i actively trying to approach her. We are in a good friendly term and since her friend is my friend too, i told my friend that i have taken a liking in her,and even sometime my friend tease me saying that I like her in front of her,since I'm a shy person, i always object their(myfriend)'s statement, but well I'm sure she already knew my feeling from her except if she is unexpectedly very dense(which i don't think so).
The problem is, as I state before,for the last 2 month, when I acively trying to get her attention. She rarely reply my SMS,email,or chat, and when I phone her,she rarely accept it. But when i meet her in person, she seem nice as always. Because of the circumstances, I can't often meet her in person, so that's why I use something like Cellphone or PC to keep in touch with her.
About what makes me think that she doesn't interested in having a relationship is because although she is really attractive, she never have a BF before and she doesn't seem to like somebody at the moment, she prefer to spend her time with her friend.
Any Tips please?
Sorry if my english is bad
The problem is, as I state before,for the last 2 month, when I acively trying to get her attention. She rarely reply my SMS,email,or chat, and when I phone her,she rarely accept it. But when i meet her in person, she seem nice as always. Because of the circumstances, I can't often meet her in person, so that's why I use something like Cellphone or PC to keep in touch with her.
About what makes me think that she doesn't interested in having a relationship is because although she is really attractive, she never have a BF before and she doesn't seem to like somebody at the moment, she prefer to spend her time with her friend.
Any Tips please?
Sorry if my english is bad
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hmm...talk to the friend and find out. maybe she's not interested in guys at all. maybe she had some traumatic event with a guy that left her extremely guarded. maybe she has such low self-esteem that she can't even imagine a guy taking interest in her and so doesn't understand how to pick up clues or respond to a guy's affections.
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nah, I don't think so, she do just fine with male friend, but it seems that she doesn't want to be restrained with just 1 male friend if she decide to have BF maybe?
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wilstreak wrote...
nah, I don't think so, she do just fine with male friend, but it seems that she doesn't want to be restrained with just 1 male friend if she decide to have BF maybe?I doubt this would be the case either. I've known people like that, and well... hate to tell you this, but that's a HARD situation.
I think that the best you can do in this situation (And I'm not saying it will solve the problem, at least not any soon) is, first, just as Fi said, try to get her friend's help. Advices, ideas, etc.
Second, since she doesn't seems to be interested in boyfriends, ok, don't be her boyfriend. But become an irreplaceable friend for her and whenever you got the chance, try doing boyfriend-like activities with her, like asking her out, giving her presents, small details. Like, that little hairpin, that cheap bracelet she likes, a lolipop, etc. Now, I say cheap, so she wouldn't feel compromised to you. Coming around with an expensive necklace or ring, for example, would end up making her feel pushed -"hey, I'm investing MY money on you!"- and indebted.
Luckily, over the time she would start feeling comfortable with your company and well... you MIGHT have a chance. And as I always say, don't push things, nobody likes to feel pressured.
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C13R-66Y wrote...
wilstreak wrote...
nah, I don't think so, she do just fine with male friend, but it seems that she doesn't want to be restrained with just 1 male friend if she decide to have BF maybe?I doubt this would be the case either. I've known people like that, and well... hate to tell you this, but that's a HARD situation.
I think that the best you can do in this situation (And I'm not saying it will solve the problem, at least not any soon) is, first, just as Fi said, try to get her friend's help. Advices, ideas, etc.
Second, since she doesn't seems to be interested in boyfriends, ok, don't be her boyfriend. But become an irreplaceable friend for her and whenever you got the chance, try doing boyfriend-like activities with her, like asking her out, giving her presents, small details. Like, that little hairpin, that cheap bracelet she likes, a lolipop, etc. Now, I say cheap, so she wouldn't feel compromised to you. Coming around with an expensive necklace or ring, for example, would end up making her feel pushed -"hey, I'm investing MY money on you!"- and indebted.
Luckily, over the time she would start feeling comfortable with your company and well... you MIGHT have a chance. And as I always say, don't push things, nobody likes to feel pressured.
I may have to depart from my esteem colleague. acting like her boyfriend and following her like a puppy dog buying her gifts can work on some girls, but may not on others. maybe a gag gift, but anything kinda remotely serious may send a girl running the other way. speaking as a girl who would run the other way of course :) you just have to feel out her personality and figure out the best approach. again, her friend is really your best bet into your girl's head.
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Maybe you could try by picking up doing something she likes or is interested in (after you consult with your friend of course about the things she could like since they are close), that way you will have more topics to talk about and from my experience people with similar interests get along pretty well most of the time and you will score more with her if you show some interest in her stuff.You probably could have a chance with her after you get more used to talk to each other and start bringing up more intimate themes.
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nah, I don't know anymore, my friend said that I must accept the fact and maybe i can start searching other girl, But I still can't get him out of my head.
Oh one more thing, one of our classmate like me(but of course I don't like her, if i like her,Iwon't bother searching other girl), could it possibly be that she is back out her feeling?
Ah, it must be nice if that is the case
Oh one more thing, one of our classmate like me(but of course I don't like her, if i like her,Iwon't bother searching other girl), could it possibly be that she is back out her feeling?
Ah, it must be nice if that is the case
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You sir have encounter a Asexual girl. I'm have the same problem and it's not easy getting someone like this to notice you.
Best advice I can give... Don't go for broke and flat out tell her you like/love her.
Never works; It's like throwing a pebble at mountain and expecting it to shatter upon impact. Try learning how she works and use that to your advantage. Something good might happen.
Best advice I can give... Don't go for broke and flat out tell her you like/love her.
Never works; It's like throwing a pebble at mountain and expecting it to shatter upon impact. Try learning how she works and use that to your advantage. Something good might happen.
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shinji_ikari
Mustn't Run Away...
You know though most of the tips ,and advice given so far are very good they seem to be missing a final few alternatives ,and as a pessimist I feel I should share them with you...
1.She doesn't like you at all ,and is being polite
2.She is a lesbian
3.She likes to remain single to fool around
4.She is frigid in terms of intimacy ,and does not desire human interaction beyond friendship
and lastly,
5.She is already in a relationship ,and is keeping it on the down low
now none of these things may be true , but their all possibilities so take them into consideration :D
1.She doesn't like you at all ,and is being polite
2.She is a lesbian
3.She likes to remain single to fool around
4.She is frigid in terms of intimacy ,and does not desire human interaction beyond friendship
and lastly,
5.She is already in a relationship ,and is keeping it on the down low
now none of these things may be true , but their all possibilities so take them into consideration :D
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Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
She's just not that interested in you.
Sorry, but to her, you're friend zone material.
Buying her gifts is just going to either make her completely break away from you, or treat your even more as a friend.
And no, you aren't likely to change her opinion of you. Seek other girls.
Sorry, but to her, you're friend zone material.
Buying her gifts is just going to either make her completely break away from you, or treat your even more as a friend.
And no, you aren't likely to change her opinion of you. Seek other girls.
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Feels a little weird giving relationship advice based on a simple paragraph, but I hope you find this helpful.
This girl sounds exactly like, well, how I would interact with a guy who I wasn't interested in, who I knew was interested in me, but who hadn't CONFESSED to me yet.
There is nothing to solidly reject, especially since it seems you've denied any feelings for her to begin with, so she can't just come out and say "I'm not interested in you."
But downright ignoring you would be rude (hence the occasional online/phone responses) and there's no sense in acting coldly in person, especially since you haven't actually done anything wrong. That would be impolite, and probably more difficult to do than continuing to be her normal self.
Just giving my view on the situation.
If this sounds like it could be your problem, confession is the quickest way out of this cycle that can easily end up going in a very negative direction. And not confession through a friend. It has to come from you.
This girl sounds exactly like, well, how I would interact with a guy who I wasn't interested in, who I knew was interested in me, but who hadn't CONFESSED to me yet.
There is nothing to solidly reject, especially since it seems you've denied any feelings for her to begin with, so she can't just come out and say "I'm not interested in you."
But downright ignoring you would be rude (hence the occasional online/phone responses) and there's no sense in acting coldly in person, especially since you haven't actually done anything wrong. That would be impolite, and probably more difficult to do than continuing to be her normal self.
Just giving my view on the situation.
If this sounds like it could be your problem, confession is the quickest way out of this cycle that can easily end up going in a very negative direction. And not confession through a friend. It has to come from you.
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Yeah I knowwhat you mean I've liked this girl since seventh freaking grade WTF and she still just want to be friends T^T I haven't had a relTion ship in years cuz of her