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How Do You View Love?
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SneeakyAsian
CTFG Vanguard
[color=#993300]Love, in itself, is a very fickle thing. I can have a view on love but it can be taken as a grain of salt since everyone will have at least slight variations. But I noticed when helping others on this matter as well as my own experience there are a few things that are in common. I don't exactly believe in love anymore, but this is what I can say.
First of all, just about all people tend to use the word in a very shallow meaning, at least when they are younger. They use the word as an excuse to have sex, as an excuse to hang around someone, an excuse to not be alone. But in a sense, this love is the same thing as having a friend, more specifically, a good friend at that or a service to you. But that is still a superficial sort of thing. I've seen many people go into relationship simply for the status of it, which is sad and a waste.
My personal belief in love is that it is a combination of complete selflessness and small bits of selfishness. Being attracted to someone, not physically, is one way I know I am in love. You want to be with them, get to know them, and in a sense, become the best you can be for them. I know many times that, including myself, you want to be the person to know them the most, to be their best friend. I consider this to be the romantic form of love, but not entirely its truest form. But, it makes your heart go doki yes?
In this regard, true love to me always has seemed to be complete selflessness for another person. No matter what, even if they hurt you in the most drastic ways, cheat on you, lie to you; if seeing them happy is what you strive for, then that is true love, at least to me. Mind you this sort of love and romantic love can be separate or together. In a relationship, specifically, I've always seen that it is the combination of the two that makes things work. Usually its romantic in the beginning, then becomes less so and increasingly selflessness (like with many of parents). The best forms of love I've seen are those that are completely selfless with a little bit of selfishness
And of course, there is the sexual form of love that goes into evolution, hormones and etc, but I'm sure we all know what that is.
First of all, just about all people tend to use the word in a very shallow meaning, at least when they are younger. They use the word as an excuse to have sex, as an excuse to hang around someone, an excuse to not be alone. But in a sense, this love is the same thing as having a friend, more specifically, a good friend at that or a service to you. But that is still a superficial sort of thing. I've seen many people go into relationship simply for the status of it, which is sad and a waste.
My personal belief in love is that it is a combination of complete selflessness and small bits of selfishness. Being attracted to someone, not physically, is one way I know I am in love. You want to be with them, get to know them, and in a sense, become the best you can be for them. I know many times that, including myself, you want to be the person to know them the most, to be their best friend. I consider this to be the romantic form of love, but not entirely its truest form. But, it makes your heart go doki yes?
In this regard, true love to me always has seemed to be complete selflessness for another person. No matter what, even if they hurt you in the most drastic ways, cheat on you, lie to you; if seeing them happy is what you strive for, then that is true love, at least to me. Mind you this sort of love and romantic love can be separate or together. In a relationship, specifically, I've always seen that it is the combination of the two that makes things work. Usually its romantic in the beginning, then becomes less so and increasingly selflessness (like with many of parents). The best forms of love I've seen are those that are completely selfless with a little bit of selfishness
And of course, there is the sexual form of love that goes into evolution, hormones and etc, but I'm sure we all know what that is.
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SneeakyAsian
CTFG Vanguard
[color=#993300]Well double post bug....maybe space for my experiences in the horrid thing
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Talking from almost a decade of experience being in a single relationship, love is really a selfish social construct in which you need to half-believe and half-act in order to be successful (and it's actually awesome if you do it right, despite being selfish and basically made up).
It is selfish, because it gives you a unique partner with unique rights reserved specifically for you. A right to romance, for example. In many cases, a right to have sex exclusively with that person (which also becomes an obligation). A right for considerable amount of time, care and so on. That is, you expect a lover to do all of those things.
It is a social construct, because we are brought up with it through movies, books, songs, parents displaying (or not displaying) it and other symbols that dictate us how to act in which setting. Despite them being mostly fiction and interpretation, we treat them as guides when it comes to love, since we don't know any better (and we don't really know an easy and plausible way to detect love, since it has such a fuzzy definition). So, you end up believing in love, as you've been taught by your upbringing and then continuously modify the definition as you encounter various experiences of what others call love or a lack of love and what you feel is love or absence thereof.
I'd agree with other posters, that love is care for other person and putting their values, goals and believes ahead of yours. That said, if both of you do just that, you'll end up in a deadlock, so there must be some inequality here, or, to put in bluntly the person who is less dependent on love gets the most out of it. Therefore it is important to keep your core values in tact, because that is what other person loves in you and that is what makes you do what you do. Leave those out and you'll become a human goo, from character standpoint, and your lover will have no way to care for your values and beliefs, because there are none.
Thus, you need to believe in yourself and have a strong core of values to sustain a long lasting love. You'd also be happy in the long run if your partner has the same. Now, you can acquire that core while living with the person you love, who encourages you not to shy away from what you feel is important. Just keep in mind, that it can be very taxing for them to expel energy to sustain themselves and you at the same time. It definitely is hard for me.
That's where the act part comes in. Love is action, not just a thought. You actually determine if someone loves you by how they act. You wouldn't just believe a random person instantly that they love you if they don't act like it. This is true even if your relationship is continuous. Love needs to be demonstrated, again, through the common well-learnt in the developed world principles: a hug; a kiss; helping out; agreeing to sometimes sacrifice something you like; compromise (or, even better, consensus); sex and romance (romance, especially is a big part of love that is often forgotten over time); and so on. Do it, not just say it and you'll do good.
Here is my lover's perspective (just asked them):
Love is care; love is when you want to be close to your partner; love is when you are not indifferent to the fate of your partner.
tl;dr: love is a mixture of belief and action. It is what you (and your partner, collectively) perceive it is.
It is selfish, because it gives you a unique partner with unique rights reserved specifically for you. A right to romance, for example. In many cases, a right to have sex exclusively with that person (which also becomes an obligation). A right for considerable amount of time, care and so on. That is, you expect a lover to do all of those things.
It is a social construct, because we are brought up with it through movies, books, songs, parents displaying (or not displaying) it and other symbols that dictate us how to act in which setting. Despite them being mostly fiction and interpretation, we treat them as guides when it comes to love, since we don't know any better (and we don't really know an easy and plausible way to detect love, since it has such a fuzzy definition). So, you end up believing in love, as you've been taught by your upbringing and then continuously modify the definition as you encounter various experiences of what others call love or a lack of love and what you feel is love or absence thereof.
I'd agree with other posters, that love is care for other person and putting their values, goals and believes ahead of yours. That said, if both of you do just that, you'll end up in a deadlock, so there must be some inequality here, or, to put in bluntly the person who is less dependent on love gets the most out of it. Therefore it is important to keep your core values in tact, because that is what other person loves in you and that is what makes you do what you do. Leave those out and you'll become a human goo, from character standpoint, and your lover will have no way to care for your values and beliefs, because there are none.
Thus, you need to believe in yourself and have a strong core of values to sustain a long lasting love. You'd also be happy in the long run if your partner has the same. Now, you can acquire that core while living with the person you love, who encourages you not to shy away from what you feel is important. Just keep in mind, that it can be very taxing for them to expel energy to sustain themselves and you at the same time. It definitely is hard for me.
That's where the act part comes in. Love is action, not just a thought. You actually determine if someone loves you by how they act. You wouldn't just believe a random person instantly that they love you if they don't act like it. This is true even if your relationship is continuous. Love needs to be demonstrated, again, through the common well-learnt in the developed world principles: a hug; a kiss; helping out; agreeing to sometimes sacrifice something you like; compromise (or, even better, consensus); sex and romance (romance, especially is a big part of love that is often forgotten over time); and so on. Do it, not just say it and you'll do good.
Here is my lover's perspective (just asked them):
Love is care; love is when you want to be close to your partner; love is when you are not indifferent to the fate of your partner.
tl;dr: love is a mixture of belief and action. It is what you (and your partner, collectively) perceive it is.
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awks....... I don't believe love is a real thing. it's just a word we use to describe a certain type of feeling caused by a chemical reaction.
that said, it is disputable, but I do find my computer to be more dependable and 'lovable' than a human
and ..... love is always profitable business for evil people
that said, it is disputable, but I do find my computer to be more dependable and 'lovable' than a human
and ..... love is always profitable business for evil people
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To me, love... Real true honest genuine (ect) love is just one of those things you can't explain... But you know when it hits because you feel it, and you care for him or her so much... And you want to be with them and for them to be happy and live a healthy life and (I could go on but you get the idea)
I don't really know how to properly describe what I feel when I feel love without using the word love and being redundant.
But other than that there are so many different kinds of love... The love for your family and friends, the love of food, the love of these jokes from your favorite comedian...
But whatever simply wants you to go closer to someone or something is attraction by definition. You don't love someone just because you want to ask that boy how he got his hair that way...
I don't really know how to properly describe what I feel when I feel love without using the word love and being redundant.
But other than that there are so many different kinds of love... The love for your family and friends, the love of food, the love of these jokes from your favorite comedian...
But whatever simply wants you to go closer to someone or something is attraction by definition. You don't love someone just because you want to ask that boy how he got his hair that way...
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Power-Senpai
This is very custom.
Spoiler:
I think you hit it pretty much nail on with that comment.
