How to deal with a lack of romantic experience

I'll start with an explanation of my personal situation, and proceed to the question itself.

I personally have never been very popular, and never got any romance in my youth, however now a girl, who is a bit younger than me, has taken interest in me it seems. Now i am a virgin, who has stupidly enough not even kissed a girl yet, but still i want to get some kinda thing going with her. I have no idea how to take flirt, nor how to treat her physically, so here is my question.

How do you deal with a lack of romantic experience, when you are finally having someone interested in you?

This goes for both males and females, but i personally am male.

Research. Practice on your pillow. Other than that, you gotta start somewhere. Just let this be your first, and whatever happens, happens.

1st) Try to be honest. She may be pleased to pop your cherries.

2nd) If you can't be honest, go to a prostitute. No need to say it's a part of her job, so it will go smoothly and you'll get out of this with a better confidence in yourself.

3rd) If you can't even do the 1st) or the 2nd), withdraw your rendez-vous to gain some delay or whatever and shed your tears on your cowardice.


The choice is yours.

This topic fits more in the Love, Romance and Relationships section.

Two things you can do to help with this.

1) As stated by KingRat. Do some research or practice. Just be careful about what you read. Not all of the information that is out on the internet is true or helpful. This also goes for movies or porn. But it's still good none the less so you can get an "idea" on some things. Now when you practice, such as with kissing, I would suggest either using your hand or a pillow. Not the same experience I know, but again just helps with calming your nerve.

2) Be honest with your girl. If you have no experience and are nervous, then tell her so. No one is going to fault you on your lack of experience and if they do then they are not the right person for you, it's simple as that. You have to start somewhere to build up experience so just take things slow and communicate with her if you feel like she is giving you the signals in relation to romance.

Also: Misaki's advice on kissing

Basic
Look at person face-to-face (breathe)> look at person's lips > look back at face again (showing that you wish to kiss them with your eye movements and continue to breathe) > move body a little closer to there’s > look at lips again > look back at face (breathe!) > lean head in closer to face (not too close!) > see their reaction (partner closes their eyes, pucker mouth, open mouth) > finally either kiss them or tease and ask them if you could kiss them (don't worry it isn't wrong to ask lol).

When you kiss for the first time, just press you lips a little bit against theirs (sort of like when you pucker them after something sour). Just focus on connecting your lips with theirs for the moment. If you wish to move your hands just put them on her face, shoulders, or back (don't get too lewd unless she wants it). Play with her hair or feel the fabric of her shirt.

Also make sure to brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or eat some gum/mints before kissing. At the very least just don't eat something like a sardine filled pizza. It's okay to not have fresh breathe, but don't have nasty foul breathe.

Just suck her dick like a boss, straight up. Gargle the balls, work the shaft, and swallow the gravy. Its easy, just think of it as of eating a freezie, or a yogurt in one of those tube things.

If your into each other, you could let her initate a sexual relationship, and let her be the one who sets the pace, but if shes expecting you to take the first step, than it might just be best to tell her that you dont have a lot of romantic experiance.

Also, if you have a close relationship with any other women who you can talk with, like a close sister who wont make to much fun of you, or someone like that you could ask them for advice.

The main thing that most all girls like is confidence. I can be kind of shy too, but just being confident always works for me. Just be smooth as hell, try not to trip on your words or talk too quiet or indecisive. Eye contact is good, but don't be creepy with it. Try and smile, just relax and have some sort of plan of how you're going to ask her out, get her number, give her your number, whatever. Give her some kind of light compliment. Don't be intimidated, she's a person just like you.

I have no experience with romance myself, but I think I can give one piece of advice. No matter what you try, above all else, stay true to yourself. If she's taken an interest in you because you're you, than that's your biggest weapon.

Take her out on a date and suss out her boundaries through conversation. That's what I did, and it seemed to work somewhat. I'm not super duper confident, but being forward about certain topics relevant to past experiences did net me a lot of valuable information that allowed me to push forward and get into a long term relationship.

Honestly though, don't overthink it. Before I started doing relationships and dating, overthinking things seemed to end up with me screwing over getting a girlfriend or getting laid. Talking works better than overthinking and assumptions (for me).

Thank you all very much! (with the exception of one, who's name i won't mention) and i found these tips very helpful! If there is someone else who feels like writing anything, then please do, no harm comes from adding more to this.
I'd like to add some additional information that i neglected to tell earlier. This girl lives quite far away, like 2 hours by train, but we talk on cell phone everyday and met up once in real life, even though it was under some awkward circumstances, however we held hands, and talked okay. Later i found out that she liked better a guy who is the one to progress things, and make advancements, and i seemed kinda shy physically so to say, so i need to work on that. However we have made some sort of "deal" that we would kiss and she would bite my lip, so i don't know but i believe that to be flirting. thanks again.

I'm happy to see you guys are talking on a consistant enough basis and 2 hours isn't too bad distance wise.

Majority of women, even those who sometimes take more of a charge in the relationhip want a man that can do so as well. You can't just sit back and think that a girl is going to hit on you or ask you out (too many guys are thinking like this anymore and it annoy's me some, but oh well). I mean we can drop hints and be frank, but we need you to work at it some as well, so work on your confidence and let your feelings be known when the time is right. Even if this doesn't work out, life and love is a learning experience so you need to put in the effort to get anywhere.

Her making a deal to kiss you (and bite your lip I guess?) can be a form of flirting, so just go with it. If it isn't, don't blame yourself, I mean (if she was fibbing about this) it's her fault for saying such things in the first place that shouldn't have been said. Again, just go with it and don't overthink it too much.

To me the best thing will be to just be yourself (yeah overused advice). The thing is if you find a girl who likes you by talking it means she started liking you for you and not some mask you wore. So be yourself and as time and relationship progresses you will find certain things come easier like kissing or finding that romantic moment.

I'll just leave this here:

www.scarleteen.com

I find it's a good resource for people who don't have much romantic experience.

Update time.

I did find out not too long agp, that se found me passive, and it made her feel a bit uncomfortable during our meetup irl, and it was simply because i did not know where the boundaries went, could i touch her? Where can i touch her? How can i touch her? What should i say, and what is appropiate? All these things ran through my mind at the time, and made me feel quite uncertain. Also it might be worth noting that i have asperger, though only to a small degree.

She also opened up to me, about how she felt traumatized from older relationships, and how it made her sorta lose interest in trying to find something new. However she did say she was gonna hold her promise and kiss me, and also hinted at the possibility of me being able to change her outlook lf relationships again. I may have forgotten to mention but we are both teenagers, where as i have never kissed anyone, and she has kissed several people.

Again thanks for all the help guys, i truly appreciate what get's replied here.

Know this; you are still young (since you said teenager, hoping that it's of age for the site, but idc) and this will be a learning experience for you as well as her, so keep that in mind. I hope this works out for the two of you, but if it doesn't then take it with a grain of salt (still wishing for it to work out though).

Just know that it's also okay to be nervous and insecure about what to do. There is no text book or manual on love and life, so you need to learn things step by step an day by day. Even though she has more experience with something such as kissing, that doesn't mean she is (or should) be expecting anything from you. Just be open with one another and talk about things.

If you two are feeling something for one another, then just go for it. Hold her hand, or get close to her, touch her hair, whatever. If she doesn't like anything either check her body language (tension or looking away can be classic signs) or she should be bold enough to just tell you when something is uncomfortable.

The last piece of adivce is to be careful with her and her baggage. She say's that you could change her opinion on men and relationships, but this doesn't always work. Be there for her, be yourself, and gain some confidence. The rest will be on her to deal with. It's okay for a person to feel dependent, but they can't be too dependent that they will drown without you there, so don't feel like you need to save her if it comes down to it (I don't know the situation so I am just throwing this out there because I have had some past relationships that were similar). Sad to say our past's can haunt us and ruin our futures if we don't learn how to let go.

This is sounding like a nice case of young love, so again good luck to you and hope this works out.

Lack of experience isn't a problem at all. NO. PROBLEEEMO.

"A lot of experience" in "love" does not mean that lot.

Indeed each time you date someone new, you "learn" that someone and how to (both) deal with your brand new relation.

Everything you could have "learnt" from ex-partners are nothing but some feathers in your cap. At least it helps to know a bit about yourself but only backward. If we talk about technics, don't believe the previous/last one will automatically work -- rather you have to build/learn the technic your partner and you will like the most on a day by day / step by step basis.

As for being passive, it's up to you -- whether it is your nature, something going to evolve, whatever.


Since you're both rather young, errors are welcome for both : you may not know things from her but she also may not know how communicate those things -- moreover she tracks her "sore" experiences story, it is doubtful her ex-partners would be the only one(s) "at fault", to be honnest/right.

A relation is built by each and both sides.


If you lack confidence or so, you can also ask your father or some (enough ?) older man/men you trust. Do not do the same as them. Just listenning to others is enriching ; each with its own experience and sometime hints here and there, some piece of advice or rectification, or relativization, something to share.

Plus, they know you more than we do, so I think they also know better what to and how to tell you, than us on Fakku.

You bring out some good pointers so thanks. The reason i don't seek help from anyone around me is that i am not that sociable and neither am i all that close to any specific person, family or otherwise (atleast that is what i feel right now, but feelings can be deceptive i presume)





I truly appreciate you giving me as much advice as you have, and i have used and thought through a lot of the things you have told me. I know feel a lot more comfortable with being open to her about what i think, and how to proceed in a physical situation again.
I am 18 so no worries there.
Right now she has not contacted me for a few days thoug, and saya she wants to be left alone as her dog died, and she found it incredibly precious. I decided for giving her space as that is what she asked for.

Glad to have helped and space is the best thing to do to let her grieve over the loss of her pet/family member/friend (I've had pets past away before so I know the feeling). If you don't hear back from her in up to a week or so then you can msg her or call her to make sure she is okay or see if you can do anything for her. If/when things get better do something sweet for her (such as buy her something small and inexpensive or make her a picnic/lunch?). Remind her later when you do (not now though, again give her the space she needs) that she can talk to you if she ever needs it and that you care about her.

That sounds good, so i'll take your advice on this. I never thought i would ever get help from someone this insightful on a hentai site!