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How to deal with a lack of romantic experience
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Power-Senpai
This is very custom.
I guess it's due time for an update on this thread.
I will make a summary of what has happened since my last post till now:
I gave her time and space for her to move on from her dogs death, and she eventually contacted me and we started communicating again as per usual, we did not meet, as we have not met again since our first encounter. Communication started slowing down a bit, and i did not feel a lot of the usual enthusiasm from her messages as i was used to (lack of emoticons, very direct short messages, etc) Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this. I made a joke of which i cannot remember right now, and we sorta have not text-ed since. What i am thinking as of right now, is to move on from this case and focus on other things in my life currently going on, like trying to get a job, and my hobbies.
I will make a summary of what has happened since my last post till now:
I gave her time and space for her to move on from her dogs death, and she eventually contacted me and we started communicating again as per usual, we did not meet, as we have not met again since our first encounter. Communication started slowing down a bit, and i did not feel a lot of the usual enthusiasm from her messages as i was used to (lack of emoticons, very direct short messages, etc) Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this. I made a joke of which i cannot remember right now, and we sorta have not text-ed since. What i am thinking as of right now, is to move on from this case and focus on other things in my life currently going on, like trying to get a job, and my hobbies.
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Misaki_Chi
Fakku Nurse
Sounds like you made the right move. Don't want sloppy seconds or thirds, even if it is just a kiss. You deserve better then that, so work on yourself and enjoy your time to the fullest. Hopefully the next girl will be better suited for you.
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Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
0
Power-Senpai
This is very custom.
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
If it was a test, then it would only make me lose respect for her, and not want to move onward anyways, and if it was to gain distance then that is what it would achieve. Could also just be what happened. It is hard to tell what she is doing and such considering i don't live close to her.
Misaki_Chi wrote...
Sounds like you made the right move. Don't want sloppy seconds or thirds, even if it is just a kiss. You deserve better then that, so work on yourself and enjoy your time to the fullest. Hopefully the next girl will be better suited for you.Thanks. I really do feel like i made the right decision too, and not that i want to start a relationship with a girl that respects me and the other way around.
Also got a call that i got the job, so i have something to focus on as well.
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Misaki_Chi
Fakku Nurse
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
Could be a number of things; emotional turmoil, lack of respect and inconsiderate, doesn't care, an stupidity. People do stupid and crazy things sometimes. I don't understand it myself sometimes, but best to just walk away then get caught in a shit-fest.
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Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
If it was a test, then it would only make me lose respect for her, and not want to move onward anyways, and if it was to gain distance then that is what it would achieve. Could also just be what happened. It is hard to tell what she is doing and such considering i don't live close to her.
Just in case, I wasn't questioning her word but the reason behind sharing it with you, since you only got to the first base. That's like purposely making all your achievements void and you, feeling like shit. Which is how I would be feeling. So your new employment has a perfect timing, good luck with it.
Misaki_Chi wrote...
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
Could be a number of things; emotional turmoil, lack of respect and inconsiderate, doesn't care, an stupidity. People do stupid and crazy things sometimes. I don't understand it myself sometimes, but best to just walk away then get caught in a shit-fest.
Idk, it would've been an alpha male move to show your jealousy in that situation. But since we're all betas here, yeah, it's not going to happen ^___^
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Do you even return her interest? Genuinely. Ask yourself that.
Not because she's female, and you want to fuck something, but because you like her.
Not because she's female, and you want to fuck something, but because you like her.
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Power-Senpai
This is very custom.
Lollikittie wrote...
Do you even return her interest? Genuinely. Ask yourself that.Not because she's female, and you want to fuck something, but because you like her.
If anything, it would be the other way around.
0
Power-Senpai
This is very custom.
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
If it was a test, then it would only make me lose respect for her, and not want to move onward anyways, and if it was to gain distance then that is what it would achieve. Could also just be what happened. It is hard to tell what she is doing and such considering i don't live close to her.
Just in case, I wasn't questioning her word but the reason behind sharing it with you, since you only got to the first base. That's like purposely making all your achievements void and you, feeling like shit. Which is how I would be feeling. So your new employment has a perfect timing, good luck with it.
Misaki_Chi wrote...
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
Could be a number of things; emotional turmoil, lack of respect and inconsiderate, doesn't care, an stupidity. People do stupid and crazy things sometimes. I don't understand it myself sometimes, but best to just walk away then get caught in a shit-fest.
Idk, it would've been an alpha male move to show your jealousy in that situation. But since we're all betas here, yeah, it's not going to happen ^___^
Alpha male move does not necessarily mean wise.
ALittleJenny wrote...
[size=10]Dude.You fuck her right in the pussy.[/h]
wut
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Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
If it was a test, then it would only make me lose respect for her, and not want to move onward anyways, and if it was to gain distance then that is what it would achieve. Could also just be what happened. It is hard to tell what she is doing and such considering i don't live close to her.
Just in case, I wasn't questioning her word but the reason behind sharing it with you, since you only got to the first base. That's like purposely making all your achievements void and you, feeling like shit. Which is how I would be feeling. So your new employment has a perfect timing, good luck with it.
Misaki_Chi wrote...
opanihuya wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
Later i got to know from her that she had kissed two guys within a not too long time span (maybe one or two days apart at most) and i did not really know how to react to this.I wonder what brought that up, was she testing you, or gaining distance?
Could be a number of things; emotional turmoil, lack of respect and inconsiderate, doesn't care, an stupidity. People do stupid and crazy things sometimes. I don't understand it myself sometimes, but best to just walk away then get caught in a shit-fest.
Idk, it would've been an alpha male move to show your jealousy in that situation. But since we're all betas here, yeah, it's not going to happen ^___^
Alpha male move does not necessarily mean wise.
Same as making a joke about it. Just out of the two first is more honest.
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Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
If anything, it would be the other way around.
He says that some girl has an interest in him. There's no point in engaging in a romantic entanglement if it's just for the sex.
If you want to have sex, have sex, but don't call it something it's not.
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Power-Senpai
This is very custom.
Lollikittie wrote...
Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
If anything, it would be the other way around.
He says that some girl has an interest in him. There's no point in engaging in a romantic entanglement if it's just for the sex.
If you want to have sex, have sex, but don't call it something it's not.
Did I ever give off a vibe that it was sex I was after? I have no experience with sex nor did I assume to get any from my encounter, especially not when we were both virgins and she was under the legal age (a year younger than me). I also said that I was the one with an interest, but felt like there maybe was some response too. I was wanting to have a success with a girl I was liking automatically speaking, not sexually speaking.
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I'm pretty sure she's just not interested in a relationship with you at this point, so you could either move on or stick with being friends. I don't think there's much charm that plays kiss and tell. Making stronger moves would probably be better as well, Sometimes agression might be unattractive, but it's important to keep yourself a strong piece on the chess board.
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Well, why don't you jest be on ye best behavior? You don't have to impress her with all that French kissing, jest make her feel special and next thing she'll be head over heels with ye. Good luck!
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Lelouch vi Lamperouge wrote...
How do you deal with a lack of romantic experience, when you are finally having someone interested in you?Beats me, dude
Edit: Good explanation about kissing Misaki_chi, ill remember that if im going to kiss someone lol, there was a very detailed spoiler about "how to kiss" =O sounds hard ^^.
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Honestly the way most people learn about these kinds of things is from watching other people do it. Whether its a romance anime or just someone you know that has a healthy relationship. All there is to it is adding a little bit of you in it, make it so its your thing and not just copying someone else.
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lezaH wrote...
Honestly the way most people learn about these kinds of things is from watching other people do it. Whether its a romance anime or just someone you know that has a healthy relationship. All there is to it is adding a little bit of you in it, make it so its your thing and not just copying someone else.Um yes on the observing (more like talking with people) part, less on the media. Seriously, don't follow the media. Follow REAL LIFE, much more relavent.
Also, the key here kid is to NOT WORRY SO MUCH. Seriously, in the grand scheme of things it's nothing to worry about you're a teenager sometimes there are late bloomers.
Like me for example, I'm a virgin at friggin 26 years old and a DUDE for crying out loud. So seriously there's no pressure.
Here's what you gotta do. You gotta have faith and assurance in yourself as a person and more importantly love yourself (but don't be a narcissistic nincompoop about it!).
Second, accept the fact that you're a rookie. You got hobbies or skills you're good at? Guess what, you were a rookie at them too at one point. You probably screwed up at them too at some point. The key is we LEARN that's what's awesome about us humans.
Like the other peeps said, if the chick you're seeing appreciates you for you, she won't care if you're a virgin or at worse she'll deal with it.
What women WON'T deal with is anime protag, George Costanza level neurotic nervousness. That consistant bad habit of always doubting yourself and wondering "is this the right move?"
CHICKS HATE THAT! (trust me I found out the hard way).
If it's a kiss? And it feels right? GO FOR IT!
Trust me, I got stories about how my spazziness cost me GREAT chances.
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Holoofyoistu
The Messenger
there is no road map here: just ask her what she wants, and try and do that.