Life Advice

Ok, so I found out today that the girl I’ve been casually hooking up with for the past few months may be pregnant. I have two shitty jobs, a tiny studio room with a shared bathroom, I just started school again, and I have all of 8k in my savings account. I’m freaking hard, and I want to know if anyone older and wiser has any advice, or input for where I should go from here.

Edit:
IM OFF THE HOOK! ITS NOT MY KID!

First off this should be moved to LLR.

OT: confirm that she is pregnant before anything. If she is then communicate with one another. If you find that she is wanting things of you that you don't want or you feel that the child isn't yours then you have to think about what actions you should take from there on.

In the event that the child is yours at the very least you may have to pay child support, though see what the girl want's to do. Had a friend who's girl got pregnant and took off with the kid without asking shit of him. You will also have to decide whether you wish to be in this person's life in any way or if you will need legal consulting for any issues that cannot be agreed upon.

Regardless of how this turns out you need to face it head on and talk with this person about everything.

Am I the only one who thinks they should switch the section name to "Misaki_Chi Advice Corner"?

But yes first just slow down. If you are just casually hooking up with her then there is a possibility that you are not her only outlet. You need to talk with her and then you can figure out what direction you should go next.

But this also serves as a smart reminder to younger generation. If you are not ready to take a kid then wrap it and younger females need the ideal of "if you want to tap it you need to wrap it."

Think about what you want and discuss things with her.

overall. good luck, and stay calm for the both of you.

Talk with her about what she prefers you do in this case. Regardless what she says, stay present for the whole process, including birth, because you have the right, responsibility and, most important, the chance to make your life happier that you can't be denied (and you should take if you wanna improve your life). Stay present for that child and see him/her with proud, learn things from him/her and make the life of both more enjoyable.

For all this, you must reconsider your short-mid-long term plans. While it's likely you can accomplish your previous goals and be a father at the same time, you'll have the adjust the wholes "how" and "when". Your life plans should consider your child as well, you shouldn't take him/her like a "charge you must carry that impedes you to success" no matter what, or you'll live stressful and you'll share highly negative feels to the child. Rather, think about it in a more positive way and ignore the traditional "success at life marks" because life is different for each person.

Oh, anyway, also try to make sure she's pregnant from you in the first place if that wasn't discussed yet. Also, start using condom always from now and in the future. No condom, no sex (fap it or whatever to kill the mod or go to buy them asap. Always carry some, too). And it isn't for birth control only.

Yes, yes, don't forget to try to be friendly with her and so, you don't need to love her (in a inmate way) or anything, but having a nice and non-conflictive relationship would so a lot of good for everyone.

That feeling of relief must've been immense.

But question; how do you know it's not yours?

Kids are the most wonderful things in the world. They're like pets you can't leave home or sell. Suck the life and money from your soul.

dont get me wrong, i really love kids, and i want to have kids someday. Key word is someday. try back in 7-10 years.

She had a paternity (i spell that right?) test done on a sample taken, which i paid for, and the lab results came back today, and it dosent match me.

It dosent matter though, because she told me she wasnt keeping the baby.

Never knew you could take such a test on an unborn child. The more you know.

Never knew you could take such a test on an unborn child. The more you know.[/quote
Me neither, but we went to the clinic and they said they could test.

Yup it's a common tool nowadays that most clinic's use and a great thing to do if you find you have doubts on who is the father of the child, especially for legal reasons. The Murray Show is iconic for using paternity tests to show who is and isn't the father of the child.

Some people may not agree with paternity testing saying it's breaking the trust between you and your partner or that the science behind it is bullshit, but they are pretty accurate. It's also sad to say people do lie about who the father of a child is or they don't know and want to believe it is a certain person.

Though I wouldn't just throw out to every woman you sleep with who get's pregnant to get a paternity test. I mean this instance was a good one to get it, but if you're in a good longterm relationship where you don't suspect the person to be fooling around/trust them, it'd be pretty crappy to asked "oh btw if we want to continue with this relationship we need to get a paternity test".

I agree, but on no way am I ready to be a father right now, and if it had been my child I would have stepped up and done what ha to be done.

That means you've been sleeping with a slut.

Though given the information provided, is probably not much of a surprise.

It does mean you should probably get yourself a different kind of test.

Look dude, just because someone has more than one partner doesn't make hers slut, get off your high horse and look at this from a more mature angel.

Someone who is sleeping with more than one person at a time is exhibiting slutty behavior.

And considering my only sexual partner has been my wife, I can safely say that I'm quite fine looking at this from a mature ANGLE.

Especially compared to someone who can't even use contraceptives correctly.

Was about to neg because starting an argument and so, but the last point compensates it, so yeah, proceed. Though I wouldn't call her a slut but an easy girl (not like it's anything wrong, unless she's dating), but yeah, our OP is the same kind anyway. Seriously, it's piece of cake to use contraceptives always.

Then you know what time it is for?


http://youtu.be/CgllycqBk-w?t=5m45s