Moving on

What’s happened has happened – you are who you are now and it’s okay to look back on the past, but you cannot keep dwelling on it. Living in the past will only hinder you from living in the future. You have to see the past as something that “has happened” and find things in life that make you wish to live for the future. This doesn't have to be another person, just find things that take up your time and make you happy. I know when I suffered a hard break up I would get back into reading, playing videogames, watching movies, hanging out with people, cooking, etc. I cried every now and then about the past, but you have to realize at some point that thinking about it doesn't help you in any way. You have to accept that it’s over and start a new chapter in your life.

Wish for other’s happiness – something that I always do and will continue to do for those I am no longer close with (could be friends or exes) is I wish for their happiness. Just because we are no longer together and some relationships may have been horrible, I never wish any true ill will towards others. In the moment when I’m still hurting I may think some nasty things, but at the end of the day being down or mad about something that’s over is pointless. I want happiness for myself and I wish that for others as well. To me finding happiness is important because it’s too easy to be upset and unhappy. Personally I really do want the people I’ve met in my life to be happy so I hope they can find others who will do that for them.

Move at your own pace – I know you want to move on with your life and feelings, but you can’t force yourself to move any faster than you can go. I know I tried to rush into some relationships after bad breakups, but that can be worse than being alone and single. You need to find ways to enjoy yourself and life again so stay single if it’s too hard to move on just yet. Continuing to work on yourself will only help you get to the point where things like dating become less difficult.

Be happy with yourself – the last bit of advice I can give is to work on learning to be happy with yourself. Whenever you are hung up on old relationships you usually upset with yourself for whatever reason. I know I use to constantly blame myself for the past relationships I was in that ended. I felt like maybe if I did this or maybe if this happened this way that things would have been different. Honestly though, things happen in life for a reason and you just need to find peace with the fact that not everything you did was wrong. I know I look at life now as; I went through hell and back all to end up with the person I am with. I was hurt a lot and hit some pretty low points, but in the end I wouldn't change it for the world. I am happy with where I’m at and sure it could have been an easier road to get where I’m at, but life is crazy sometimes. What I’m getting at is you need to accept what has happened in your life, don’t blame yourself and hold yourself back from finding love and happiness. I know it’s hard to do, but I believe without a doubt in my mind that anyone can find love and happiness for themselves, but they need to work towards it.