Obstacles to goals: Discouragements and how we overcome them

So I'll start off by saying that I'm a 5 year psychology student. I've been taking college at my own pace mostly because it's expensive as balls. I don't want to spend the latter part of my life angsting over school bills I may not be able to pay because the education I was given did not provide me with the income to clear it's cost. Anyway tl;dr money is scary and I am no wealthy girl.

I'm a graphic designer and illustrator by vocation. However this doesn't really pay the bills, and as I'm sure a great deal of you know, people tend to expect artists to work for free. So to amp up my income so that I can breathe above water, I've become a webcam model. It's not something I'm ashamed of at all, and I am very comfortable in my sexuality HOWEVER (big however) Other people are not so comfortable with it.

A couple weeks ago I opened up to a close friend about my being a cam girl. I hadn't told anyone besides my partner (we agreed on it together). Considering that she also professed to be sexually free and open-minded, even admitting that she dated a cam boy...I thought she would be a "safe" person to open up to.

What I got instead was a "I don't judge" which she later followed up on saying that she could "never imagine exploiting her body for money..." naturally this hurt my feelings. Boohoo wah wah . The thing is though, that I am in no way exploiting anything anymore than a football player is "exploiting" his body for the game. I enjoy it, I do it well, it pays the bills. Sex is a normal human behavior. Plus not everything I do is sexual in nature. Many just want to talk. I'm not saying that we should all go out and fuck our next door neighbors...just that it shouldn't be a topic that we're afraid of. I see my job for what it is: a job. It's a wonderful supplemental income.

I feel that I've chosen an adequate path to walk on as I push towards my PhD. Which is also something rejected by my parents. They are the typical strict type who hate the idea that I'd waste my time on "psychiatry" instead of becoming an engineer or biochemist...even though I have to study medicine...I'd be a doctor. This familial pressure to conform is also disconcerting.

I am not surprised that there are strict parents (it's normal for a lot of us.) I am not surprised by judgmental peers. Although it does hurt when a trusted friend makes you feel that way. I am merely discouraged by these things, and though I will not let them stop me, I would love to find more ways to cope. So anyway my question is this:

Do you feel discouraged because of the judgment of friends and/or family? Have you felt threatened by the rejection you receive when expecting acceptance? If yes how did you deal with it? If no, let's deal with it together.

No.





I dont expect acceptance.




You're studying to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist?

Everyone is judgmental in their own respect so you'll get a variety of responses to whatever you put out there. I wouldn't get too upset by this person's words personally, because even though she doesn't judge what you do, she herself couldn't do it. I'm the same way, if a person feels like doing camming, then by all means go for it. I know I couldn't do it myself for my own personal reasons. So basically I'm not an activist for it, but I'm not against it either. If your friend takes it further byasking questions and getting too involved with adding her two cents and whatnot then I'd just stop talking about it with her. It's one thing to accept it and another to mother hen you to death.

I would also be careful with this and future professions since the saying "it's a small world" is too true sometimes and this could bite you in the butt if someone recognizes you in public. I remember a teacher back home was fired and moved to another state because she use to work at a strip joint in her spare time (was a single mother with a lot of debt and bills, teaching pays jack shit). Ended up some of her old students found out and went to the place, thus the news spread and she was fired. Sad to see, but that's society for you.

Basically I wouldn't tell too many people about this other then your significant other, though he's part of the act so not a big deal lol. Make sure this won't affect your public social life and be ready for any consequences this could lead to. Other then that, have safe words ready for anything extreme and have at it (^^)b

Sorry for being a little too convoluted with my initial post. It typically takes a bit more work to become a Psychiatrist. My plan is to create a solid career as a psychologist before moving on to psychiatry and a more in-depth form of medical research/education.

Side note: You say you don't expect acceptance. Care to elaborate or...?



Thank you for replying :)

I'm aware that everyone is judgmental to a point, and I was still hesitant to share that part of my life with her even. My issue was that someone I had a deep trust and respect for treated my openness with a level of disdain. All the while professing a liberal mindset in regards to the subject matter. It's not like I hate her or anything. I still consider her a friend, but because of that response my trust in her has weakened. It takes a great deal for me to trust and be open with people, and she knows that.

It's understandable to be uncomfortable with the idea personally. Even after I explained that much of what I do has nothing to do with sex (a lot of camming is merely providing the consumer with pleasant conversation, flirting, etc. Not everything is about sex.) Like any form of sexuality not everyone is so fluid. However I wasn't mentioning it to hear about how comfortable she was with doing it herself anymore than someone coming out as gay would want to know if their confidant would want to have gay sex.

When it comes to future work, I've prepared myself. Again, I take my work seriously and treat it as a job. You may or may not be surprised by how many girls secretly cam to make it through school. One just has to do their research and be comfortable about talking to strangers.

I am very careful. Thank you for that consideration :3 The cam corporations provide their models with a great deal of protection such as geographical blocking, and we're very much in control. I work on my own so no safe words necessary. If anyone is rude, crude, trying to get anything for free I block and report them. Ironically I've had stalkers and creeps from more run of the mill positions, but I've felt most safe as a Cam model.

I suppose that's the nature of our society though. I'm also sorry to hear about your friends being so harsh on you. Like you said though, you develop thicker skin. I've had worse happen to me than this scenario, but it's still frustrating to be unexpectedly put down. For the most part I'm very lackadaisical when it comes to everyday opinions. My partner is wonderful like yours. Lucky us! Thanks again for your input❤

You have your shit together so you should be fine lol. Oh and for the personal reasons I couldn't even do erotic teasing or so to speak like you mentioned, I am so fully committed to my boyfriend that it's just not something that I could mentally get past.... I pretty much am yandere with him to a point >w>

But I have to say, I've had friends like your friend. It definitely hurts some and makes a little more distance, but maybe you'll find better friends in the future who won't care. Like I said, I have friends now that have a little less the zero judgement for how I am and such. Took me a while, but I do appreciate it (^w^)

Yes I feel discourged, but I'm a stubborn bastard so I ignore it.

I used to do taekwondo when I entered high school and I was thin even for a korean. During practise I'd constantly get knocked off my feet and get beaten by the bigger students. Because of this I felt extremely threatened and insecure about my abilities.

I went to my grandfather who was my taekwondo sunsengnim (teacher) and told him about my feelings. He was drinking like usual and told me to fuck off.

With no one else to go to, I had to take matters into my own hand. I began by researching ways to get bigger. Not body builder big, but just appropriate for Taekwondo. It was tenuous work at first and my grades even slipped a little, but it payed off.

I got the appropriate body for excelling at taekwondo, but in the back of my mind I wonder if it was something I truly wanted. Did I succumb to my insecurity, forcing me to work out? Or did I overcome my insecurity by working out?

I'm not sure, but this was how I dealt with it.

I guess by saying that I dont expect acceptance was kinda of a wrong term. I dont except someone to fully understand would be better. Cause if someone would fully understand the other, he would get accepted. And to fully understand someone, you gotta go through what he went through, live his life basicaly. Which of course it aint gonna happen. That is why I dont "expect acceptance".Even from people close to me. I expect anything from anyone.

Discouraged from their judgement? Fuck them. Getting rejected? Who gives a shit.
You shouldnt worry about the whole thing in the first place, its not even serious.



By the way, If you want to make some more cash. Try selling used panties/socks to fetishists. You'd be surprised how many people will contact you(be careful tho). Register on a website and so on. I might even propose this to my sister so we can split the cash 50-50.

I procrastinate about it until I have to go though the obstacles.

Haha thanks. I understand where you're coming from. Actually I am completely different around my boyfriend. On cam I am just a persona essentially. My private relationships and even friendships I tend to be fairly shy and reserved.

Is it weird to say that I envy that level of jealousy?! I'm not the possessive type, but I've had past relationships where I get in trouble for not being especially jealous of them. In my last relationship, my girlfriend was very hard on me in those respects...story for another day lmao. It doesn't have to do with how I value them, but I like that type of passion for a lover.

I'm glad you found that type of support. I am not the type of person to completely cut someone off because I felt judged. Especially when I know they're talking from a place of ignorance or inexperience.

Ah I see what you mean. I'm a pansexual mixed female so I think it goes without saying that I don't expect people to fully understand and accept me. I don't lose sleep over it, because it's unnecessary. With this case it was a trust fractured coming from someone I had invested a lot of reliability in. I think anyone would be put off by that? I wasn't really making a big deal about it, but decided that because it did have an effect in the first place to take advantage of it to learn how to better process obstacles, irritations, etc and also give others the opportunity to share their own display of strength.

Stuff that affects us emotionally is going to happen no matter what. We are all going to end up in a situation where we're treated unfairly or we treat someone else badly etc etc and walk away feeling that we could have handled it better or been wiser. Hence this thread.

Thanks for the tip! I've actually sold a pair of panties, but I haven't been working as much lately due to school. Once I get back in action I'm hoping those types of customers return. That's not a bad idea if your sister agrees, though she may not go for 50/50 lol.

I have always lacked confidence in the past, and I still do from time to time because people have judged me throughout my life. I have told this about myself many times on this forum, so I apologize if I am repeating myself again. I have this weird problem where I can't walk for longer than about 10-15 minute. After walking or doing something physically demanding, my heart rate sky rockets and I eventually throw up or even faint if I keep going.

Personally, I don't mind not being able to walk for a long time, but what I do mind is the judgement I get from others. For instance, when I was in school, people have frequently offered me to do something with them. Some of the examples include: Would you like to play basketball with us? Would you like to hang out with us this weekend? Want to come over to my house later? Unfortunately, I had to answer "no" for all of them because I simply couldn't. This often leads to misunderstandings. People will start thinking that I am boring, I am negative, etc. Things get especially worse when I throw up or faint in front of people, and I don't think I have to explain why.

Like I said, I am still going through all this. However, one of the things that helped recover from depression and allowed myself to build confidence was collecting quotes, and building a mantra. For me personally, when certain quotes are said out loud, they give me a tremendous amount of courage and hope for the future. I will list some of my favorites.

"Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up." -Batman Begins-

"The night is darkest just before the dawn." -The Dark Knight-

"A hero can be anyone. Even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a young boy's shoulders to let him know that the world hadn't ended." -The Dark Knight Rises-

"Fear does not work as long as there is hope." -Hunger Games: Catching Fire-

"Believe you can and you're halfway there." -Theodore Roosevelt-