Online Relationships

Online relationships are doomed to fall apart if both sides stay behind a computer screen forever.

If both doesn't take seriously each other, the relationship is doomed. It just doesn't apply to online relationships, it applies to absolutely any relationship. It can sounds stupid, but people very rarely take their relationships seriously, and you can even get a somewhat precise % by just seeing the marriage/divorce rate. Though it isn't necessary bad that a relationship isn't taken seriously, but for something we have light relationships, and contrary to popular belief, you can also have successful light relationships by online. By successful I mean getting fun, maybe some sex and so, because they are doomed to failure unless they transform from light to serious, thing only possible if both really wishes that, and that almost never happens.

How you can have a serious relationship? Stop thinking about you, or about he/she, and start thinking about the team. May sound simple and obvious, but it's really hard to do so because it means you're gonna have to sacrifice part (not all) of your independence, life projects and other affairs. But that doesn't end there, you must also don't think on he/she while doing so, for example, looking the best way to make him/her happy, no, it doesn't work in that (obsessive) way. It means you must think of both of you in the best way to make both of you happy, as a single thing.

Of course, an absolute serious relationship is almost impossible considering the individualistic, sightly obsessions and so. Luckily it isn't needed. As long you take it more seriously than lightly, your relationship should be fine. This, in the case of online relationships means the next:

- Light: Cybering, Rol-Playing, getting simple fun and so. It can be really funny, a lot, and can make you feel great, but take in account that just like in Light Physical Relationships, it's doomed to end. Enjoy it, then finish it when the fun burns out.

- Serious: Know the other well; don't hesitate in asking for official documents and other "basic" stuff, but it's a must in the mid term (it's also a must for physical ones, it's just you can already get some official data without asking, but ask for the rest). Avoid obsession, that comes easily online, continue with your life in order to eventually join your life with your partner. If you can physically meet your partner even if it's just for a short time, even if he/she or you have to sacrifice somewhat for make it happen, do it.

Eventually one, or both, will have to abandon their country or state, in the long term, plan accordingly. And if you see your partner is always avoiding the topic after a few years, he/she ISN'T taking seriously enough the relationship, period.

A long distance relationship completely ruined my life. Was in one for two years, completely and utterly in love with this girl. She was moving here to be close to me. A week before she moved, she broke it off. Never even got to meet her.

My advice is don't.

You might just have been unlucky? D: I'm sure things can work out properly, also I believe it would have been better for you if you had gone to see her instead of the opposite. But well for me for some reason all the online relationships I have been in I always meet the other person AFTER we break up..

I think if possible meet before you make any serious commitments to move, physical connection is important, as shallow as it might sound, you have to know if you click in person. Also, moving to be close to someone is an important life changing decision, I'd always recommend meeting at least 2 times in person before making that kind of commitment.

Definitely! Especially because behaviour online and offline often don't match. Many people tend to be a bit different online because the anonymousiness. Also if you want to move in with someone at least try to stay with them for a weekend. Living together and hanging out together is completely different too. Like do you perhaps know each others habits at home, is it something you can live with? Also from experience I have pet peeves which would drive me insane if the person I lived with kept doing D:

I would also say it is a lot more difficult to maintain if you are in vastly different time zones. If you are in Australia and the other person is in the US, when they sleep, you'll be awake, and vice versa. You also have to be ready for the fact that once you do have to move to be with them, someone is going to go to a completely different country, and you have to be ready for that.

Physical intimacy is important, and some people can't do the long periods of time without it. Now I'm curious, I'm always curious as to someones pet peeves, what are yours?

I don't mind telling you but that would be off topic! ^^

I've been living with my girlfriend for more than 2 years and we'd known each other for 6 years online before we finally met and made moves to really be together.
There are obvious complications, but overall, if you want it badly enough, you can often find a way to make it work (I refuse to say always, because that just doesn't seem realistic).
But otherwise, it's like any other relationship, given to the peaks and valleys that are typical of fitting into each other's lives and trying to be more than just two individuals.

Had a couple online relationships, one of which lasted close to 7 years. NEVER again. Impossible for me to trust them at all. Too easy for the other person to just say what they think you want to hear. Trust is too fragile.