So, how do you get the girls?

And I don't mean the dirty hooker variety, I mean the down-to-earth, shares your interest, and is loyal kind of girl. I know confidence is part of it, being yourself is another part, as lying about yourself goes nowhere, but what else is there? There are lots of things I don't know, and I want to make my next relationship successful. I want to be with a woman who I can treasure, and who will treasure me.

Is there anything I can do, self-improvement wise, attitudes that improve myself and my chances, etc?

I mean you've already stated the most important things which include working on yourself, having self worth/confidence in yourself, don't lie.

The things you can do to make your next relationship successful is to keep these things in mind with potential girls.

1. Take things slow. You don't have to instantly date or hook up with a girl just because you two have chemistry. I'm not saying to put the breaks on fully, just if you find a girl you are attracted to and she feels the same, start out slow and see where it goes. When you go too fast with someone you may miss the red flags or there may be things that you dislike that you could have seen if you had done things differently. Hang out when you can and don't sweat if you can't be together all the time. Show you are interesting by paying for a dinner/lunch or if you don't have cash just enjoy chilling when you can. Have sex be something that happens later when you find you are really connecting with someone.

2. Show you are interested in a girl. If you are interested or like someone don't be shy about it; make eye contact, complement them, exchange numbers and just see how things go from there. Don't take it personally if the girl doesn't respond to your interest, you can't force someone to like you and if they don't then they are not right for you. You just have to try your best and if you get shot down then hey at least you tried. Body language and eye contact will say a lot about a person so just gauge things step by step and don't overthink it, again if she's into you she'll let you know and if she isn't she'll let you know too. If you can't tell then just communicate.

3. Get out there and talk with people. Just talk to anyone and everyone and eventually yo will find people to click with and who knows, the people you meet may know others who will introduce you to people or potential ladies. Basically if you want to meet people you have to put yourself out there.

4. Be patient. Love doesn't happen in a day, a week, a month, or even a year. Believe me you and everyone else in the world wants love and anyone who says otherwise is a liar lol. So realize that you are not alone and that it just takes time to find someone special. In the meantime as you mentioned already work on yourself and enjoy life until you do find that special someone; life doesn't end just because you are alone; it's fun to have someone to share life with but when you can't you try to find friends and look to appreciate your time you have to yourself. Sounds kind of lame I know, but you have to find a way to not let negativity/pessimism fill your life; you have to fight.

5. Last thing is to just take care of yourself. If you keep up with yourself and make yourself happy then you find you'll be able to do more for others. Basically the happiness of yours will be the happiness of others. Just think to yourself that you want to strive to be the best you that you can be since your partner should want nothing less for yourself if they are the one.

All I can really think to add and don't give up. Once you give up hope then you won't find someone. It's okay to take a break or just not want to think about a relationship if you don't feel good (we all have bad periods), but once you say you'll never find love you'll find you will make it that much harder for yourself.

Thanks for all your advice, I learned a lot. I'll keep these things in the front of my mind when meeting people who I could have things in common with, or interests that we share.

Just to say the reverse way works too.

Rather than "slowly", I would advise to go with the flow -- be aware of the "atmosphere", frankly ask kiss and such, maybe look how she reacts to your tempting/"teasing" caress whether she's open or not to do more, etc. But don't tease if right at the moment you can't make more follow. If you go too slowly for a hasty (but serious) and active woman, she might think you're not "that" interested and friendzone you "as well" in her mind.

Be aware of your (possible/putative) other half and her needs and signals.

Just remember a relationship is about two people (monogamous ones anyway).
Do things together, have fun together, learn about each other, share the bills (when going out to eat), share what you feel. Do not forget communication and to take her feelings into consideration. I've seen people who just live off their partners, financially and emotionally and that never ends up well.

Like someone said, just go with the flow and enjoy the journey, love isn't instantaneous.

If there was a magical answer the site wouldn't be full of lonely weebs with waifu of a 2d nature. Took years to find a woman who wasn't in it for my dick, money, or a bed to sleep in.

Sometimes if you're not looking for anything other than a lay, being used like that may not be all that bad.

I have no complains on the non crazy bitches i attract, but after a while bang it out thru the dating scene. It gets boring and you want something significantly better then a girl for sexual need and try to find one with a great mind. I need a girl who can talk pass the latest ep of 'jersey shore' or lady gaga great music and get into serious discussions of life, social politics and intelligent conversation.

But she need to be able to suck chrome off a hitch also. Talking is talking but i need a person i don't need to train. She can't suck at fucking. I don't need perfection... just need a journeyman level job.

Yeah, I'm done training.

Biggest thing I can recommend is just be your own person and carry confidence with you. As said before, talk with people around you casually and just be kind to all, people will want to be around you. If you're into a boy/girl establish that by smiling every time you see them, reaching out to them, maybe throw some flirting in there. Again, try to be your own person because people will feel uncomfortable if you are overly infatuated with them and attempt to spend every waking moment with them. Once you feel as though you have built a connection then you ask the for a date, and the first few dates should be slow because you want to learn about them, i.e interests, hobbies, ideas, fears, etc. Sometimes it will end after a few dates because you just aren't comparable but it takes time to build bonds.

I feel as though that is sufficient for romance and relationships but what about love? It comes in many shapes and forms, its something that is in a constant state of flux and everyone has a slightly different definition on it. To me, love is something you have with another person whom you feel one-hundred percent comfortable around and can tell them anything. The person who make you feel good about yourself and are there to help you in your time of need, they are also the person you want to help in their time of need. It's the person your willing to make sacrifices for and vice versa. I feel as though love is the thing that makes me feel something that is specifically unique to that person. However your definition of that may differ but I hope it gives you an idea.

Hope that helps.

-Law

Without over stating what has already been said, I believe personal hygiene is a big contributing factor. Yes, it is important to be yourself, don't lie, be considerate, etc. Being a female, when I get approached by a male wishing to seek a form of relationship I do a "appearance evaluation."

That might seem shallow, but I am talking about basic appearance and hygiene. I have had quite a few males talk to me with rancid breath, or when they smile I can literally see the plaque on their teeth which the amount makes me wonder if they ever brush. Disgusting fingernails, *consider occupation*, smells like they have not bathed in weeks, overly stained clothes, I can keep going...

The basic thing I am trying to say is that appearance is usually one of the first things that get taken into consideration within the first 5minutes. What kind of image do you want to portray? I am not saying you need to lie about it and "dress up your appearance", but rather, what kind of man do you want to present to her? Do you want to look like you can actually take care of yourself on a normal means? Or do you want to be someone who requires polishing? But hey, some girls like that too. I personally don't have time for it.