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Trying to date middle eastern girl, couture rules in the way
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Hello everyone! it's been a long time since I've been here and heres what i have going on. So theres this really pretty middle eastern girl who i'm friends with and also have a crush on and we want to hand out and even go out on a date, but the couture rules are totally in the way on those ideas and she thinks the rules are stupid, but she does not want to go ageist her parents wishes and disrespect them. The rule is basically, she cant go with a man if he is not her husband...yeah, that's pretty, pretty balls, i mean, don't get me wrong, she's totally wife material, but one thing at a time, please! Not trying to move that fast! Anyway, i'm looking for a workaround/Grey area to this annoying rule. Does anyone have any idea how we can overcome this?
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Misaki_Chi
Fakku Nurse
You'd have to talk with her about these things, because this is a difficult question to answer truthfully. If you two were to date, then you'd have to understand the consequences of both your actions. Her parents may also be pretty strict which could make things even more difficult.
There is no real working abound middle eastern culture/customs with how strict they are (unless the person themselves is more open to other ways of life). As drifter said do not sleep with her because that is a huge no no (a woman must keep her virginity till marriage). Basically she has to agree with her culture to some extent even if it's just out of respect for her family, because if she really didn't care, she wouldn't have brought it up. I'm the same way with my parents and the whole respect thing. They influence me to a degree even though I say they don't, such as if they didn't like my boyfriend I would probably stop dating him. I can't date a man who doesn't at the very least try to get along with my family.
Anyways, up to you and her to decide how you'd want to pursue things. You two could attempt to date in secret, but this could be very difficult and end badly if your caught. Good luck with things.
There is no real working abound middle eastern culture/customs with how strict they are (unless the person themselves is more open to other ways of life). As drifter said do not sleep with her because that is a huge no no (a woman must keep her virginity till marriage). Basically she has to agree with her culture to some extent even if it's just out of respect for her family, because if she really didn't care, she wouldn't have brought it up. I'm the same way with my parents and the whole respect thing. They influence me to a degree even though I say they don't, such as if they didn't like my boyfriend I would probably stop dating him. I can't date a man who doesn't at the very least try to get along with my family.
Anyways, up to you and her to decide how you'd want to pursue things. You two could attempt to date in secret, but this could be very difficult and end badly if your caught. Good luck with things.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
Paraphrasing the Koran passage: Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe...
So your chance of even getting permission to chat with her is null anyways. Here something for you if you really like her http://islam.about.com/od/marriage/a/courtship.htm
In my culture we were supposed to mingle at church events and talk, then meet with parents and be watch when we 'date' then marriage, but im so out of that weird place that i said fuck it.
So your chance of even getting permission to chat with her is null anyways. Here something for you if you really like her http://islam.about.com/od/marriage/a/courtship.htm
In my culture we were supposed to mingle at church events and talk, then meet with parents and be watch when we 'date' then marriage, but im so out of that weird place that i said fuck it.
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
Not really advice, but I would just like to say, you mean the word "culture", not "couture", unless fashion rules are actually keeping you from dating her.
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Thanks for replying guys, and i can share a bit more info. I made a mistake, she said that her parents said no to the idea, because those are there traditions. Also, she's not Muslim, but actually Arabic and a Christan. On her parents, i already met them and, there actually pretty cool and they seem to like me. According to her, they do. Now one idea i have is to ask them directly, if it would be ok for us to go out and have fun and what not. Now because of those said rules, i'm very curious as to what exactly they would say to me about it.
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Misaki_Chi
Fakku Nurse
Yukinari wrote...
Thanks for replying guys, and i can share a bit more info. I made a mistake, she said that her parents said no to the idea, because those are there traditions. Also, she's not Muslim, but actually Arabic and a Christan. On her parents, i already met them and, there actually pretty cool and they seem to like me. According to her, they do. Now one idea i have is to ask them directly, if it would be ok for us to go out and have fun and what not. Now because of those said rules, i'm very curious as to what exactly they would say to me about it.You can try it, but make sure that the girl is cool with all of this first before you start making any plans. If she isn't along for the ride then you may be wasting your efforts.
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Misaki_Chi wrote...
You can try it, but make sure that the girl is cool with all of this first before you start making any plans. If she isn't along for the ride then you may be wasting your efforts.
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I think you should take it slow. Don't think about having sex so early when your relationship isn't even decided. Show her parents that you are serious about dating her and you will treasure her and do your best to make her happy. Parents always want to know their daughter is in good hands.
Of course it doesn't mean you just promised to marry her but that you will do your best. Which I believe should be expected when you like someone. When you start dating then you can start by talking with her about it. I wouldn't recommend you to do it as the first thing but more when you have dated for a while. After that you can try doing some research or see if there is a possible way for you go to further in your relationship before marriage.
Of course it doesn't mean you just promised to marry her but that you will do your best. Which I believe should be expected when you like someone. When you start dating then you can start by talking with her about it. I wouldn't recommend you to do it as the first thing but more when you have dated for a while. After that you can try doing some research or see if there is a possible way for you go to further in your relationship before marriage.