What Are Women Supposed to Contribute To A Relationship?

It seems to be the belief of a lot of women today that it is wrong for men to desire them as mate based on their looks. They also believe that it is wrong for men to expect them to cook and clean for them, and they also expect a mate to be able to support them financially. Not to mention the fact that it is wrong to expect sex.

So exactly what do women think that they are supposed to contribute to a relationship? Or do they believe that a relationship is supposed to be a situation where they don't have to contribute anything but the man does?

Everyone has their preference when it comes to physicality, but there is a saying, "don't judge a book by its cover". It gets tiring to hear that men only want a girl with "these" size tits or a guy want's a girl with a "sweet ass". Some men (and women for that matter) have unrealistic expectations about what they want in a person or rather they think with their libido. I know I use to hate when guys would only get to know me for my looks only (and couldn't give two shits about anything else I liked, did, etc). I don't mind if a guy thinks I'm cute or sexy, but that shouldn't be the only thing they notice about me or any woman.



We don't have to if we don't want to you know? I love to cook and I don't mind cleaning up for myself and my man, but if he ever expected me to do so, I'd probably tell him to do it himself. Rather he is appreciative of it and puts in his two cents as well. It's rather chauvinistic to expect a woman to clean up after you and expect there to be food on the table when we are in a day and age where both men and women have to work to the bone to make ends meat. It was a lot easier to be a house wife when we didn't have to work an 8-10 hour job 6 days a week.



Two answers for this;
1) We hope you are working and making some form of a paycheck so you can contribute to the finances.
2) We also appreciate the contribution when we have to bear your children and go through the painful process of childbirth and taking care of a new born. Not to say you won't help, but we will be out of commission for a few months so a paycheck coming in helps till we can get back on our feet (I know women can do this all on their own if they are a single mom, but I'm just sticking to this scenario).
Edit: 3) most women are pretty independent and work nowadays and aren't into finding a man to support us (also too much liability in this day and age where the cost of living is so high). So I don't know what women you have been talking to because the ones I know only joke about finding a sugar dady.



Every woman will be different on this and if you treat them properly and actually communicate with them on this, maybe they will want to do it more with you.



One person contributes as much as they wish and as much as their partner gives them in return. The way you use the word "expect", pretty much means that you should "expect" jack shit from us. We want to feel like we are appreciated and loved for what we can contribute to a relationship. Expecting us to be some sort 50's housewife is like us expecting you to be some sexy stud with a 6-pack, long flowing hair and beautiful buns who waits on us hand and foot. Basically its all about communication and compromise. You do good things and good things will come back to you.



I don't just sit around and wait for my boyfriend to do everything and anything for me while I paint my nails. I gave him the indication that I liked him and he kissed me; he told me he loved me and I said it back afterwards; I gave him a back massage and he did the same for me; he cooked me dinner and I made dessert; he paid the bill and I put down money for a tip.

The moral to all of this my good fellow is this; communicate with your partner and don't expect for money to start falling from the heavens above. If you find a lousy partner who is shallow and spoiled then move onto another person who is better suited for you.

Expecting doesn't equal appreciation and shows a lack of respect for your partner.

Looks: To go after any person, male or female, simply bases on looks is stupid. There is more to a person than looks, and if you did not see that, theni doubt the relationship would last long

Cook and clean: to expect the girl to do these things bases on gender is by far sexist. Relationships are equal, and the person who cooks can be varied or be the person who is up for it. If a woman expected me to cook for her just like that, then i would be quite offended.

Financies: In a relationship both parties should be able to support themselves without the support of the other, bu both pay for things like rent and such equally. And when it comes to dinner bills and stuff, i think it is good for both parties to sometimes pay the bill or split it between themselves instead of following stereotypical ways of thinking.

Sex: What a person wants to do with their body is their business, and as long as both parties communicate about it properly, then i doubt there would be too big of a problem.

So what is women supposed to contribute?: Men and woman in relationships should contribrute in an equal and fair manner that is not led by stereotypical ideals is what i believe.

Some people do have unrealistic expectations but I think it's fine to at least have some standards and expectations from their partner.(respect, cooperation, a sense of security and intimacy, etc. etc. not something like "the one who's going to be making dinner")

The thing is the impression I'm gotten is that women today believe its wrong for men to have standards and expectations of women but it fine for women to have standards and expectations of men.

Thats exactly the case for like 80% of women here in Canada and the US, and they can be of ANY nationality, so im not referring to just 'muricans or the Canadians. So called great "western" values.

Well I highly doubt that every women you've come across is like that.
You have every right to reject females like that, or terminate a relationship. Everyone has a right to desire different things from their partner, but it doesn't mean people have to respect those wants especially if they do come of as entitled and this applies to both genders.

What? Every girl wants a guy to be attracted to their looks, but we are also, for a relationship, want them to be attracted to our personality as well. Looks can only take a relationship so far.


Please tell me where you got this from...I don't expect it wrong, but some guys think a girl should do it all the time. It is no longer the 70s in which every female is a housewife. We work and make our own money, with that said second part makes no sense either. If a woman expected a guy to support them all the time, why do we even bother with jobs? Is there some women that expect it? Yes, but I think a woman today even in a relationship wants to feel they contribute to their living standard and their mates.


Again huh? The thing is it is wrong to expect sex ALL THE TIME. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean a female needs to be legs open at all times...

I think a woman is suppose to contribute just as much to a relationship as a man. I think a 50/50 split is best and that is because if one side feels like they are doing more they will hold that over the other at times in arguments and eventually it won't last...

I can't deny that I've seen women have an attitude regarding men or that that some don't exhibit this behavior, but to be honest both men and women do this. It isn't like this is some new phenomon that happened and it isn't all one sided.

I've known and dated (luckily I didn't date for long) too many guys that were either; disgusting (belched, farted and laughed like a 12-year-old), would whine like a little bitch about every little problem they had, would only date or get to know me to fuck me right off the bat, and the worst of them probably being those who try to push my buttons.

If you meet a shallow and shitty woman with an attitude you don't have to date her and you don't have to like her either, but realize that not every girl are like the ones you are talking about. Some of the behavior is also just emotional stuff that most every girl goes through (we usually overthink everything in a relationship aka do they like me, do they want to have sex with me, I am not ready for sex though, do they only want me for my body, are we dating, is he cheating on me, what can I do to make him happy, what if he doesn't appreciate me, does he appreciate me.... etc, etc.). This is where communication and respect come in handy.

With the whole standards thing I sometimes see both men and women having unrealistic ideals about how a partner should be. With what you originally said OP with the whole expecting a woman to cook, clean, and want sex it isn't that unrealistic, but respect is a little more important for women in todays world so you won't be getting too far with that attitude.

I would think the main purpose of an emotional relationship between two people is love and support but then again I might be too idealistic.

I am a woman and I have no problem cooking and cleaning for a guy, honestly I like doing stuff like that. I also feel like a relationship that is pretty equal is best. Taking turns paying for dinner, and taking turns on different nights with what to watch on Netflix. And I wouldn't say it was WRONG to expect sex, but I do think it is wrong to demand it of your partner. You need to respect their boundaries. I'm one of the weird women who is actually MORE sexual than most of my prior partners, and I am not going to sit here and demand they have sex with me every time I want it. I am a grown ass woman and have plenty of toys to help myself if they're not in the mood.

I also work 2 full time jobs and bring in decent money to never have to be a freeloader.

So as far as contributing, I think it is going to vary between people as all men and women are different. All you can do is just figure out what works best for you and your partner, which is why communication is key.

It's funny you said this because I am pretty much the same way. I do it a fair amount with my bf, but since my sex drive is through the roof I can understand why he (and frankly most men) can't keep up and nor would I ever want him to. He found it fun either to help me out with mastrubation or just let me go to town whenever I need the relief. If anything being open about things made him more potent for our fun time.

I think the same can be said for the reverse of this. If a man needs to get off and their partner isn't up for it, then just jack off when needed. The girl shouldn't be opposed to it and if she is, then she needs to rethink things because you can't have your cake and eat it too.

[size=12][color=black][/color](I have yet to read everyone's answers.) But I believe that in a household relationship, the bare minimum would be half of the chores. As far as the bedroom tango. You probably should have had that figured out long ago. (Considering them two separate things of course.) I'm okay with working, cooking, and daily cleaning (sweeping, organizing, blah, blah). If I were to be doing all that, I would definitively expect my partner to do the other stuff ( shopping, actually paying the bills, blah, blah).[/h]

tl;dr'd most of this but-

I agree on the fact that men are the same. Im not taking sides. I hate everyone equally, and there is plenty for everyone ^_^

The answers that will contribute to this thread is purely based on oneself own opinion and perspective of what they expect a relationship should be.

I do not have a solid answer that will completely satisfy anyone, so I will just answer this thread with my own opinion. Men and Women should contribute their relationships equally, though we have different responsibilities, and what I mean by responsibility is utilizing the strength of what the partners have, it may be a woman taking care of the house while men earn their money and bringing it home. ( Although I suppose that is a standard way of contributing to a relationship )However that can also be reversed, as proved by many men who stay home while women make the money, either way those are the things both sexes can accomplish.

Although the above mentioned may be kinda neutral, that still does not contribute to a long healthy relationship, but it is much more. Women might have to play the role as a spiritual nurse for their men, or men playing the " Comfort Superhero " for their women. See, both opposite sexes can play many roles to somehow build a structure of a relationship, but in the end what does it mean to really contribute to a relationship. Maybe in the end we don't have a solid answer as to your question.

What women contribute to a relationship is exactly what a man must contribute in a relationship, which is love, comfort, support, and also the will to make each other happy no matter who comes in their lives. I find it that this question must be asked to men as much as it should be asked to women, since we both must support the other.

What do I think they should give to me... nothing, I am not owed anything by anyone.
I would hope a relationship would have love and respect and whatnot and I would strive to make it a good environment.
I am not so trivial as to ask someone else to do everything or get mad if I have to do it.
I'd not let something so retarded like a dirty plate make an argument, I'd be lucky that we found eachother and care enough about eachother to be ourselves.
Personally I don't see what women see in most men, especially straight men, they suck lol (and not in the good Las Vagas way).

OP spoken like a true virgin. That was funny to read.

I know it's your preference but could you explain why?

Doesn't it depends on the woman? I mean most girls know guys look for the appearance and well we do so too. I think those who find it wrong think that those guys who ONLY look at appearance and don't look at the person behind at all. Wouldn't it be rude and disrespectful toward the woman to say you only like her for the face and body? I mean even if girls only look for appearance they wouldn't date a guy if something in the personality doesn't work out. (of course exceptions do exist and well they are in the wrong too)

And about the cooking and cleaning. I think it is more about the fact that men just EXPECT us to do it. It is not like we can't do it but I don't think it is right to think of it as an of course just because we are women. Also just because we are women then it doesn't mean we have to do all the cooking and cleaning all the time. I personally don't mind cleaning and cooking, but if I have to do it all the time I will get annoyed.. especially if the guy is a messy person.
+ if we have to do all the cooking and cleaning then I think it is right for the woman to at least expect the men to work and financially support the us. Cooking and cleaning can be considered work after all. but if the guy and girl split the cooking and cleaning then I don't think the girl has any right to demand the guy to deal with all the economic things. Especially if the girl earns more then the guy. Then she should at least be able to support him too if he needs it.

Well don't expect sex as an of course. For some girls it is something special and takes time to prepare for mentally. I mean for girls it actually can hurt pretty badly the first time and the few times after that. It can take time also if the girl is scared or want it to be something special and not something rushed. Though I don't think it is wrong that the guy wants sex. It is a common thing to do as lovers and with people you love after all. Also it feels amazing. But if you expect that you can get it any time you feel like it then you are just treating your woman as a pleasure item. I mean sometimes we are just not in the mood to do it. Maybe guys get in the mood more often than girls but you should at least respect if the girl doesn't want to. Usually there is a good reason. + rumour goes that guys just want girls for sex so if a guy just expect sex right away the girl might think he will just abandon and leave her after he gets it.

Before I go ahead and call you stupid, why do you believe most men, especially straight men are terrible?
inb4 feminazi

ot; You shouldn't expect shit from anybody. You go into a relationship caring about somebody. If they don't have a job, that's an easy fix. If they can't cook, that's a harder fix, but it's fixable (Talking about either party here, kids. don't jump the gun), if they don't want sex as much as you, sit the fuck down, and go play with yourself. Don't go and beg for it (I must admit, I have tried pretty hard for it a few times, and it's backfired pretty hard. hah. Mostly just trying things I've figured out over time to try and get her into the mood, which doesn't seem to work)

Most of the time, you look for a partner with a job, so they don't mooch of you and your funds. You look for a partner who knows how to cook, so you aren't doing all the work, and you can surprise each other with a nice cooked meal once in a while. As for looking for a partner based on looks, that's just fucking retarded. One can use looks as the lure, and then the personality hooks you in. Sometimes you find the personality. you don't go based on looks. If you did, I'd be sitting with somebody who annoyed the absolute fuck out of me right now, no doubt.

The fact you're assuming all of this, makes me think you won't be getting anywhere near a girl for a long time/ are some massive believer in womans logic (which, don't get me wrong, is a thing... But it's not that severe). Not everything they do and think is illogical.

In conclusion; don't be a douche. Don't expect anything from your partner. People are allowed to date whoever the fuck they want, and if they feel you aren't suitable, as you don't have a job, they probably aren't worth it. If they want you to get a job when you're with them, They probably want you to help pay for things, so you can save for a house or some shit. I'd do the same, if I had a more stable full time job, and was dating a girl with no job, I'd want her to find a full time job, cause I'd no doubt pay for a lot of things, and if we were serious, I'd want her to be able to help pay bills, and save for a house or something.

i will admit that this thread started a bit sexist and i'm speaking for myself i grew up with my mother cooking cleaning and working since shes single mother and i have some family members who are married and the wife stays at home/babysits(i dont know about their sexlife cause thats just really weird if i did) honestly in my case i have stuff so thats taken care of pretty much i suppose but when it comes to a serious relationship when i get into one i would hope that she likes me and we work like yin and yang and if she can make me into a better person why not i would be satisfied anybody was by my side for a first date alone marriage/relationship of a year

when it comes to cooking i do it at work when its required but mostly my mother cooks and i just heat it up later but im working on being more proactive in that department but if she can cook and i like it AWESOME

and the sex id be happy with when ever shes in the mood for it as i dont have much of a sexdrive but hopefully she had or understands that i like hentai and that its healthy that i can get an erection 4+ times a week(this statement totally screams virgin i know w.e)

and if she does or doesnt work idc but hopefully at a job she enjoys and pays well and vice versa

when it comes to cleaning i'd hopefully have a roomba or a housekeeper but if i dont id hope it can be 50/50