What do you like? Shy or Confident Guys

[size=12]In my mind i always wanted a shy boy because i think we will get pretty well along together cus my personality.

But for some reason i always ended up hanging out with pretty confident boys so confident boys that fall in arrogance.
It happened like a canon to me and i get tired of these kind of "confident boys".

I just want to meet a shy guy or a confident but humble one, just a good guy who loves and cares himself but no only in him.[/h]

If a girl would like to hang out or have a shy guy as a boyfriend, it could be recommended that the girl makes the first contact by asking the boy out, or simply being the first to start a conversation. I think quite a lot of guys tend to complain about this that they have to be the one asking the girl out. That it is almost expected of them to do it.

But just a general rule for both girls and guys, if there is a person you would like to hang out with or meet, you should go ask them out. I would argue that it is better for you to hear the answer of "no, i am not interested" rather than fear the unknown and in the end regret that you did nothing.

Being a shy guy myself i know it is hard to find the confidence if you are not born with it.

I don't think anyone is born with confidence. I also don't think it's wrong for a woman to make the first move; though I am personally more traditional and let the guy make his own move (I just give the hints and signals clearly that I am interested).

The only thing I still have trouble in relation to this is when a guy get's upset with a girl for in essence "taking charge" in a relationship. There's always a joke about how the women really wears the pants in the relationship, but I've seen and have had guys get mad over a woman taking the lead and deciding things when they gave said girl the power because they either didn't care or were too insecure.

I seriously had a fight with a ex of mine one time over what to do for the night. He was in a pissy mood and I asked him what was going on. He proceeded to tell me that he hated that I was always making the decisions over what to do and that he had no say.... I told him in return that the only reason I decided on something to do was because he never had any input to give other then "idk". He even then proceed to accuse me of being at fault for "not letting him be a man" and ask me out. Told him that he wouldn't have asked me out if I didn't because he had stated he was "too shy" to do such things. Some of my exes had weird complexes over me making the first move even before this ex, so I gave up on asking men out.

Basically there is a difference between shy with confidence because this does exist once the right guy breaks out of his shell vs shy with insecure where the guy is shy and has some weird complex over being shy (they usually want to be more equal to their partner, but doesn't know how to do it so they act immature and absurd about it).

Well, i would say 'confidence' is a personality trait and a lot of that comes from your genes. Of coarse much of it also comes from your early childhood experience, how you were raised, society you lived in, so on and so fort. So yeah i agree it not being a matter of 'you either have it or do not have it'.




Well that could also be problematic for some guys (i would say for me atleast sometimes) to make up whether girl is really giving you hints and signals and how to interpret them. A friend of mine once started arguing with a girl whom he taught gave signals to him that she was interested, but really she was just 'messing' with guys for fun (she told him that). Maybe no series harm done here, but again it is just one of those things that give some guys the fear of asking other girls out.




I totally understand the difference and i understand the reason why (most) girls want to have boyfriend with a lot of confidence. There are lots of shy people who make having a relationship with them really hard, because they are just too insecure about everything, don't know or want to contribute to the relationship and don't care to make the effort to change either.

Still don't believe in the "you have to be born with it" to have it mentality. To me it is just a cop-out to say that you can never be something, when you never even tried to be it in the first place. I've seen the potentional for people to be confident, but they need encouragement or need to realize moreso for themselves that they have it in them. Easier to deal with at a young age, but not impossible to obtain at any age.



Being blunt here, if you like someone then just go for it. I just give hints because I understand it's hard for someone to say "I like you" or "will you go out with me". Honestly though, if a guy is too afraid to ask me out then they are probably not for me. I don't want a guy to live in fear of being rejected or think that I won't date them for whatever reason they have come up with, because I know I am afraid of it myself, but I won't let fear rule my thoughts and I just figure "might as well jump in head first". It is almost a selfish way of thinking because you are so caught up in your own logistics that you fail to pay attention to what the other person may be thinking (they could feel the exact same way as you lol).

Also the girl you described in that instance sounds like a jerk. Just because she did that to him doesn't mean all girls are gonna be like that and if she's like that. Better he didin't date a girl like that to begin with, deserves much better.



Pretty much my point in relation to shy guys. There is nothing wrong with them and I find shy guys to be nice, but the insecurities are what get me annoyed. I can relate to an extent because I myself am shy and I use to be extremely awkward with social interaction. I just got tired of being insecure and paranoid so I worked on changing myself. To be honest I wasn't born with confidence, I worked my ass off to get it.

All i can say to that :D!

But seriously i like agree with everything you said. We just gonna have to deal with the obstacles life shoves into our face. Overcoming shyness is not an impossible thing to do and people who have it sometimes complain about it so that other people would change their attitude towards them, because they themselves are unwilling to make the effort to change themselves.

I'm a very shy girl. Shy to the point where I can't really drop any hints to the person I like and I kind of act Tsundere-ish towards them. Although I do give off a hint when I'm alone with someone I like, where I avert eye-contact and blush up a lot around them. And then I smile a whole bunch 'cause I get to be alone with them.

So I like people who are confident and willing to take the first step with me, after that I become a lot more confident in myself and push the boundaries of how shy I am. But I still prefer my partner to be confident since it helps me do things I wouldn't do if I were in charge. My current girlfriend tells me if she hadn't instigated sex then we probably wouldn't have done anything for months, simply because I would be too nervous to tell her I wanted to.