What should be the rationale for liking somebody?

With appearance basically beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people are less judgmental with looks while other's have a list of features they want in there partner. The biggest thing with appearance is it's okay to have standards for yourself, but don't become so nit picky that you miss out on someone who could really relate to you.

I know when I judge on appearance, I more or less am looking for someone who is able to care for themselves and has self value. I don't want to date a slob or someone who isn't open to changing themselves (meaning if I think a shirt would look nice on my partner I don't want the 3rd degree that I'm "changing them" into something they're not, I would rather they talk to me about it and be open to my ideas). I look for someone with a nice smile and isn't afraid to smile. I also prefer taller men and like them older.

I've also had other more specific things in mind for my "ideal man", but that is all that is, an ideal. I make reasonable standards for myself and when I meet men I see if they meet those standards. The more vital ones I keep the others I can change if it's the right person.

Personality is a pretty good quality to keep in mind when looking for a partner. Personality is the accumulation of qualities that makes up a person so you'll have to judge how you are able to interact with another's qualities against your own. For myself personally I find personality to be high on my priority list for people since it takes two to tango. I have little tolerance for assholes, narcissist, immaturity, rude behavior, etc. Some people may not find personality as important next to other things, but honestly it just depends on the person and your tolerance level. I know if someone is a jerk to me I just cut ties or retaliate, but others can deal with such personalities easier and can look past it.

Intelligence in a partner just depends on the person. Some people don't care about intelligence while other's feel it's important to be on a more even keel. I know for myself I prefer someone around my level since I enjoy stimulating in-depth conversations. I don't need them to be Einstein, but I've dated some muscle heads (all brawn, no brains) and even if they have gorgeous looks, no brain means no conversation means I get bored.

Again, everyone is different with intelligence, some people see other wonderful qualities that surpass the desire for intelligence while others need conversation.

Itself it doesn't matter, what matters is the sexual compatibility, and appearance plays a role on that, but is far from being the unique point. I have a quite clear position on this: it has a lot to do with sexual need.

For some, that need doesn't exist or is minimal and we call them asexual.

For others, that need exist, but can be easily supplied with masturbation. (Me).

For a lot, that need requires help of other in name of occasional assisted masturbation (touches, kisses, roleplaying and sharing some erotism and little more).

For a whole, that need requires the help of good sex from time at time.

For a few, that need requires from constant and varied hot sex.

The sexual need is often stronger in the 14-28 ages range and importantly weaker in the 40+ age range. Also, even with the most sexual compatible partner ever, the quality of hot sex with that same partner will importantly reduce as both becomes too used to it, often dying out on a decade or two. For long lasting relationships, it's important that both persons are compatible enough sexual wise to sustain the sexual needs of the other, whatever degree those needs are.

Sexual need can be increased if you work properly the erotic ideas. Sexual need can also be decreased, specially at the higher level, if you get a hobby or you just make your life more varied, so others needs push that one down. It's often a good idea to make an effort to reduce or increase a bit your need to sync with the needs of your partner, but it isn't magical or perfect.

What happens when the sexual need of one is not supplied for a time? Anxiety, stress, discontent and often a loss of attraction and attachment. Those things alone shouldn't destroy a solid and true relationship, as the bond should have been formed already, but can make really hard to form the bond in the first place.

So, yes, appearance matter but only it's effects on the sexual drive. Appearance aside that shouldn't matter, but people is egocentric and likes to think they deserve a bishonen/bishojo more for the fantasy about it than anything.

In my personal case I've been with one ugly gal, one meh gal, one beauty gal and one hot gal. With the ugly we had actually good sex as things did fluid delicious all in all, with the meh it was really hot, with the beauty it was boring (despite she was really beauty, but... ugh, not compatible) and with the hot, well, extremely hot and delicious, ❤. In any case, my sexual need isn't that high, so I can date asexuals (guys or gals) and though I only like girls, I would date guys if they don't expect me to be horny about them (I w-w-would even assist them a bit, *blush*, but not with passion).

Oh, in any case, sexual need would be how much you require to feel satisfied and happy. Sexual drive is kinda different as you can go beyond what's needed without trouble, but you can date fine people indifferently that as long the need of both are already supplied. Take it as extra fun~ ❤, but also consider there are a lot of other ways to get fun as well. Fun also helps to form a bond.

As a side note, sex works wonderful as an inmate and personal way to express yourself and understand the feelings of the other, but you don't need to be horny or hot to have sex, it's just it won' be that fun or passionate or helpful for your needs, but you can still share that contact and expand the bond.

You can't quantify this. Of course if does matter a lot, but most people can't know for sure what they need on this as they are so many and complex personalities like stars in the universe. I think it's an extremely bad idea to look up for certain personalities and avoid others, you're just losing too much good chances in that way. If you feel interested and charmed by someone, let it be and that is all, and try to don't outweigh too much the first impression.

I don't believe we have persons that are smarter than others. I don't even think we're smarter than animals to start with, heck. I think it's more about how you expend your time thinking, and that gives us a world of variety and possibilities. Some will be better on maths than others, for example. I think it's extremely mean, elitist and superb to look down certain persons just because they don't think like you want they them think.

Now, there's a single point I'll grant here. Practical effects. For example a racist is a fool as they are hurting others, segregating themselves from a lot of awesome people and so. But maybe that racist is also a loving dove awesome person aside his/her racism, so it applies more about specific thoughts rather "that person is stupid", I prefer to say "that person is being stupid".

As for relationships comes, it's a bit delicate, but it's true you need to avoid persons whose their ideas can by dangerous or hurtful to yourself. The positive thing about ideas is they can be changed, but don't expect you can change how others persons thinks (so if you have a violent partner that's hurting you, don't expect he/she will change, never), because they most likely won't change unless it comes from themselves.

You can give and receive love from a dog so easily. He won't betray you, he won't lie you, he won't leave you, he won't judge you. You can even be a bad person on this and the other, but he will most likely tolerate, respect and accept you anyway. He doesn't fear you if you approach to him with good intentions, because you can't lie him, he will read your movements and feelings as his empathy is amazing. He doesn't understand your judges, nor fear your betrayal after a time as he think you're as loyal as he is.

The problem is that humans betrays, humans lies, humans leaves you behind, humans judge you, humans plays with you whatever they wish, humans uses you, humans will prejudge you, humans will ignore you, humans will hurt you. Humans aren't good to tolerate, respect or try to accept others as we tend to be nit picky because our improved social skills allows so, so rather respecting people, we just segregate ourself from those we don't like and we just near to those who seem at first glance perfect. Because we follow people more by words than emotions and movement, our baseline empathy is highly lacking.

It isn't just a problem about evilness and egoism. Because the world works in that way, people has to learn to protect themselves from all that. You can't open all yourself to everyone because you'll get so badly hurt you'll want to suicide for example. This is where things really complex, because you need to successfully shield yourself from the evilness, while being empathic enough, while being respectful enough, while opening yourself enough, while doing all that in a natural and fluid way, as you can't force yourself.

Oh, yes. Love needs of affection, trust and sharing. While the love of the first two is the same for any type, things differs with the third. You may want to share your feelings, experiences, inmate tellings and so with a friend, while you may want to share that kiss, living together and so with that partner. There are a lot of classes of friendships, family and couples, but often, couples requires a desire to share your everyday life with the other along intimacy, directly (that doesn't necessary means solely sex).

You can also share your everyday life and intimacy with a friend, but as for intimacy comes, the difference goes between directly and indirectly. For example you can talk a friend about how you felt while you gave your virginity, that's indirectly sharing your intimacy, but you don't want to gave your virginity to your friend.

What makes that difference, then? Well, mainly how both persons feels enjoyable and naturally to interact. With one person you can feel more naturally to share hugs. With other you can feel more naturally to share that taste for anime. With other you can feel more naturally to share your lips and so. If there's a natural share for direct intimacy and everyday life sharing, you can be a successful couple.

What makes people interact different with one person from other? Well, it's mainly personality, tastes, experiences, memories and so. It's quite complex but you can just say each person is different and thus the interaction with each will always be different. A good sex appeal (appearance) can increase the likelihood of natural physical intimacy. A good romantic appeal (intelligence) can increase the likelihood of intimacy on average. An easy to communicate or share feels with personality can increase the likelihood of everyday life share. I remark likelihood, as interaction itself will overweight anyway, lol.

What is complex is attraction, love itself is not that troublesome or complex aside the people sucks side and time constraints.

Love is basically a positive relationship moved by feelings. It's different from positive relationships moved by other reasons like convenience, power and so. There's room for others things in love, but in order to be true love it must be moved mainly by feelings.

Now you have a lot of different ways to love someone. Couples' love is just different in the aspect you wish to share both, direct intimacy and everyday life, at the same time and in a quite high degree each one (because degrees also exist, things aren't black and white). By intimacy I mean basically things you feel too personal, for example going to the bathroom, money management, feelings about certain things, experiences, sex, memories and so, that's what I mean with intimacy. I'll note that a couples' love isn't limited to those things alone, it can be far more rich and complex (starting with the ever required trust and loyalty for a solid love), but you need those two as a base to be a couple.

For everyday life you need attachment and for direct intimacy you need attraction. The first just requires constancy, triggered by interest and effort/coincidence (because it's impossible to stay interested all the time without falling on obsession). Attraction is various times more complex, though, complex enough that it's better you just leave it fluid natural rather thinking too hard about it. Just don't overweight first impressions and give people a relative decent chance to enchant you rather closing too quickly to the idea (unless by moral, practical and others reasons it's better you do).

I'll remark positive relationship. It must make both persons feel better with each other. Any sacrifice must be overweight by stronger positive feelings like empathy toward the other; that can be strong, but don't expect it to be strong enough all the time as nobody is fully empathic as empathy is a double-edge sword. Or like courage, honor, loyalty and so that fulfills yourself. If it isn't a positive relationship for both, then someone is using the other for convince or someone fell on obsession.

I don't like too much the analogy of a plant because that just applies to some instance of love. Love is something flexible and highly variable in shape and way. When the love is true, it doesn't fades away nor can be damaged. While a plant on winter gets badly hurt if it even survives. Though you can force yourself to make distance from a loved one, remove it importance and so fort for practical reasons, though it often hurts. When a love isn't real (and/or was smaller than expected) it's often because we made expectations, fantasies and so that resulted to don't be real. People can also make a lot of "practical effects" decisions that results to be just foolish ones, we aren't perfect, lol.

Prefer girls one would consider cute rather than sexy. Usually said girls are low or average maintenance but still manage to stay pretty. Generally said girls are comfy in whatever they wear.

I like an enthusiastic, open minded person. Acts as a fold to my generally not-so-enthusiasticness. Makes me want to talk to them and come out of my shell a bit and reciprocate the enthusiasm to converse.

But often when I do find someone who does, they tend to suddenly lost interest or turn out to be fucking nutjobs. My kingdom for a sane person.

As long as you fact check things you read about on the Internet, don't actively get involved with or seek drama, aren't a hardcore feminazi or racist and can string together a coherent sentence, I don't really give a shit.

Having valid opinions about things without being a dick about them is also a plus.