Right, okay. That was a bit random.
TL:DR ALERT!
How's your paranoid schizophrenia, prostate cancer, failing bladder, kidney cancer, glaucoma, inconsistent urination, nightmares, weakened ejaculation/orgasm, tinnitus, concussion, madness, neanderthal-thoughts, involuntary thoughts of suicide, unable to understand written words, inconsistent thoughts/speech, amnesia, mutism, grandeur feelings, absent mindedness, feelings of inferiority, loss of musclepower, stroke-like symptoms, asthma, unable to swallow, digestion problems, cavities, loss of jaw protrusion, inhibited movement, hypoxia, infertility, bloody lumps on legs and arms, stomach cancer, diabetes, loss of weight, loss of height, hunched over neck and head, neck pain, extreme irreversible loss of motivation, extreme laziness, amotivational syndrome, extreme-irreversible brain-damaging-procrastionation-syndrome, pelvic-floor muscle collapse, hearing loss, auditory hallucinations, nightmares involving loss of limbs, fear of death, manic depression, severe life-inhibiting anxiety, primitivism, grandeur thoughts of world dominatio, apathy, monotone voice, high pitched voice, nazisympathy, acquired analphabetic-like symtptoms, lack of grammatical understaning, apoliticalism, schizophrenic thoughts of a one world government, Insomnia, coffee addiction, loss of brain function primarily the prefrontal cortex
*takes a gasp of air*
...all caused by overmasturbating, or are you magically much better?