Can't Find My Mastabatory Aid

I have looked everywhere, and can't seem to find that thing the fits mah dick so well. I was last using it this morning (morning wood and all). I finished and when I was done I went into the bathroom took a shower and when I got out it was gone, I have no clue where it could be...she left her phone number but I don't think I'll be calling!

Oh yeah! I love going to bars!

I'll call you...maybe.

No need.

Never no good women in bars. Either old cunts, mtv gum chewing twats or the herp carriers.

I thought this was a remake of the "I lost my bottle of lube" thread

This.

Also, 2/10.

You're better than that, Long.

I lost my bicycle. I knew I shouldn't have lent it to that black man.

Here it is.

Be more careful next time.

Did you check your socks? I always misplace stuff in my socks.

Are you sayin 2/10 cause I didn't call her back? Cause if you were a dude you would know that's 10/10.

How does it feel to be a member of Matchbox 20?

Not sure what that means.

But I used to own Matchbox toys!

That's cool. I owned Hot Wheels cause I'm fancy.

2/10 for creativity. We both knew what this was.