I'm sitting in my chair naked right now.

I just got done with sex.

Thought I'd share.

Premarital sex is instahell.

Also, I'm always naked. Everywhere. Your naked chair sitting does not impress me.

yeah, but you being naked doesn't do anything cause there's nothing there TO do something.

Mine is like the second coming of Jesus.

I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock,
which by the way is 17 and a half inches. I didn't need to shower,
because my body self cleanses and my pores emit the manliest cologne possible.

I got in my 2011 Lamborghini Murcielago and another one of my bitches was waiting in the
passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having
penetrated her. She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and
drove with my knees. In three seconds, I arrived at the gym, which was fifty miles away.
I threw the bitch off me,
and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back.
When I got out the car, I flexed. My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my shirt off,
and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed
when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of
euphoria after I put it in. I came, and three hundred gallons of semen shot out.
It landed in Ghana, and ended the drought.

I hovered into the gym, because the ground was too scared of my calf muscles to touch my
feet. After benching seven thousand tons, I squatted four million kilograms.
I started doing my four hundred laps around California, but I got a phone call.
It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels. They orgasmed after hearing my voice.
My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back.
She sucked me off as I took the three second drive back home.
I left her in the car and went inside.

I just took a shit, thought I'd share.

Hi, how're you doing?

Not too bad. I just took a shower and so I have hidden my awesome penis away in a pair of boxers so people within a thousand mile radius can think properly.

Thinking you are something cuz you after begging over and over finally got laid? Well, at least you made your e-penis shrink, I guess that's something.

Your assumptions give me much amusement.

I'm in my chair naked... no sex ought... lucky basterd.

Only 19 models? shoot come back to me when you've got 500.

I woke her up with sex.

So you rape her.

She wanted it.

They ALWAYS want it.
No exceptions.