Meanwhile in British Columbia.

BC is weird. This summer some guy was hanging outside my window at 1am and tried to slide my window open (but it locks from the inside), so I went out there and said "WTF are you doing out here?" and the guy said some gibberish and tried to shake my hand. I told him to back off because he was creeping me the fuck out. So I go back inside, call the cops, because this guy is still there. The cops come and he all of a sudden became coherent and starts saying "I was looking for my bike, my buddy is going to pick me up". I told the cops what happened and they dealt with him.

So where did you hide his bike?

There was no bike, he was a druggy who most likely tried to break into my place. He probably made that part about the bike up, because he was really nervous when the cops came.

... How do you not get jokes?

I read it as a question for some reason, and I see it now that you pointed it out. I may have been drunk when I typed that though, but I'm not sure 100%. Either way shmeh.