Sit around children. Uncle freaky is gonna learn your ass.v2

People know that i been broken in and rob a couple time since moving into the country.. mostly in my demoed and remodel ranch style house built in the 1920's which i payed 80,000$ for the house plus 25 acres of land. Anyways my neighbor grandfather died a half year ago and his place got jacked, robbed and city reclaimed it. Well a month ago two retarded illegals broke the fence and tried to steal a broke ass rv with no wheels and engine and got caught at 2 pm on a sunday afternoon.. and got their shit pinched by the cops and jail/fines/bail more then what the rv is worth in scrap. Now someone stolen the rv yesterday. Now that fine.. people are smart. NOPE the guy who stole it is now in the event of the county sheriffs of being ny style plunger in the butt because he tooooooooooooooooooo fucking stupid to either chop that fucker up and sell the scraps or take it out of the fucking area and scrap it in the next town over.

The town and the county is small and rural.. everyone knows each other.. literally. The scrap yard... and the only scrap yard in the county is own by neighbor friend and the guy where he sells his scrap at. One call and he found the missing rv. Ah rural life is easy sometimes.

Now a quick lesson in theft my young ones. If you going to steal a auto... chop it up, remove the vin's and sell it in another town/county. You 99% sure of safety. Also make sure the reward is worth grand auto, trespassing on city own property, grand theft, robbery burglary, fraud and transporting stolen goods. Take it from former MSgt US Army mp freaky.. your retarded for stealing 600$ worth of steel for the chance of 12-15 years pen time. Also homey was black... fuck.

Useful knowledge in times of dire need. I shall remember this, uncle.

I just got learned.

It never felt so good.

Funny story, my dad had his car broken into once and his wallet and cigs got stolen. Well this pissed him off greatly so he set up a trap the next day. He left his car unlocked and put a fake carton of cigs under the passenger side glove compartment so only the person that had known there might be stuff to steal would attempt to break in. So my dad hid on our deck which is enclosed with lattice so he could see out but no one could see him. He waited for a bit that day and soon enough some kid came by on his bike and went into his car and then my dad jumped out with a bat and knocked the little fucker to the ground yelling "DON'T YOU FUCKING MOVE!!" the police were called, he cried like a little bitch and lots of laughs were had.

very interesting go on please

Your dad is my hero. He deserves the highest of fives.

After the house got trashed by little wannabe thugs my brother hid out in the shed across the street. He popped a kid in the ass with a pellet gun and on two separate occasions i ran with my .45 after two pussies. I just pop a few shots at the barn and wood pile now just to assert my dominance.

So freaky, what are your plans for all that land you got there?

When you're buying equipment for... legally ambiguous reasons... make sure to wear gloves so you'll never get your fingerprints on them, even when buying from the store. When handling said item, wear a hat. If so much as a hair falls off your head, you're fucked when the forensics team swoop in and pick the scene clean of leftovers evaluate the area for clues.

Burning clothes you wore from a crime is only effective if you properly dispose of the remains afterwards. Leaving it in the place you burnt it is screaming for trouble.

I really want to hire you as one of my marketing plan advisor. I think it would be fun seeing what kind of ideas you have.

I learnt a lot here

Secret graveyard for gurofreak's night raids on the red light district whore houses.
And the land was part of the sale.. maybe some trees and maybe sell the rest for a profit when the economy is better.

not gonna plant weed and raise some cow?

I can grow weed but i just don't wanta fuck with the law and the fuckhead who would rob me blind. i don't pay for my weed anyways.

Alright, Cool. I like your advice. But I'm really going to need your help on this one.. Uncle.

I'm on a deserted island, and I just stole my nieghbors high-class car, The closest town is 2430Km south-South East, What can I do? I really need the money I can get out of this 922-Year Mountian-made, 'Heavy Rock' Car.

Oh yeah.. THAT Heavy Rock car~ It has a wicked paint job too, Grey with dark spots all over, AND NOW ITS MINE!

My neighbor is loaded with cash.

Trick question.. it's deserted.. either no one there and what the fuck or your alone which you have no neighbors. Also if your on a island that 2400k long.. then your English and your not considered human.. your aussie prisoner alpha soldier. Pm damoz, drifter or a dingo for complete info on alpha prison colony.. Australia.. at least we ain't Canadian.

Okay, okay, you got me.. you sir, are the most sharp person (wearing a bunnyhug, and eating a jambuster) in the kitchen.

But I still got a rock.. What do?

Paint it white and sell it has crack.