Smash and I
0
Longevity wrote...
[2:08:39 AM] SmashBro: once upon a time[2:08:53 AM] Longevity: in nazi occupied germany
[2:09:28 AM] SmashBro: there was an old man who hated jews
[2:10:07 AM] Longevity: he had a "dirty sanchez" mustache and some really emo looking hair
[2:10:37 AM] Biotechnic: He once gave a reach around to a doberman
[2:10:57 AM] SmashBro: and never left his building unless he got more
[2:11:58 AM] Longevity: well one day the old man decided that he would do something to help the world that was to
[2:13:06 AM] SmashBro: establish the economy on performing reach arounds on dobermans
[2:13:47 AM] Biotechnic: Many townsfolk, of course, thought this man was fucking insane
[2:14:46 AM] Longevity: But he showed them! He showed them he wasn't just "insane" he was bat shit crazy
[2:15:52 AM] SmashBro: so he performed his fetishes over live television
[2:16:32 AM] Longevity: his fetish of course was to have midgets stomp on his genitals
[2:17:07 AM] SmashBro: And thus people began to watch this while eating their delishous turkey dinners
[2:18:56 AM] Longevity: and then he hated the jews more
[2:19:56 AM] SmashBro: because it was not for the veiwing pleasure, it was so people would understand this beautiful act
[2:21:20 AM] Longevity: I am the lord jesus christ born not in December but in March
[2:21:39 AM] Longevity: People fight for me when i ask them not to
[2:21:54 AM] SmashBro: the man said while being stompped on repeatedly.
[2:23:19 AM] Longevity: his nutsack now looked like scrambled eggs before being cooked
[2:24:32 AM] SmashBro: "I do this not for your veiwing pleasure!" he said with a sigh. "I do this to show what it feels like to be unloved on such a time as christmas!".
[2:25:20 AM] Longevity: of course no one cared or gave a shit because it's christmas and people are selfish pricks on this day
[2:27:07 AM] SmashBro: And this man was trying to express how it feels when a child or an orphan is unloved during such a day.
"It should not feel this way!" the man yelled. "They should be massaging these! not stomping them!".
[2:28:01 AM] Longevity: the midgets looked into the mans eyes with the intention to kill...his genitals that is
[2:29:55 AM] SmashBro: "If you do not all come together and rejoice in this joyous time!" he stuttered. "These midgets will break both of my genitals at once. and thus killing me from the sheer pain alone"
[2:31:09 AM] Longevity: but the people to busy with themselves didn't care enough to do anything like "rejoice" they just stuffed their fat faces
[2:32:49 AM] SmashBro: The man, Knowing that this would happen. slowly closed his eyes. and gave the final cue to the midgets.
[2:33:48 AM] Longevity: as the midgets lifted their stubby legs out of nowhere came a bearded man on a raptor
[2:35:05 AM] SmashBro: The people, though stuffing their fat faces noticed what had happened. They dropped their food out of their hands and were glued to the screen
[2:36:46 AM] Longevity: the raptor tore the midgets apart one limb at a time
[2:37:19 AM] SmashBro: the veiwers gasped and awaited at what happened next!
[2:37:44 AM] Longevity: the beared man said "this man was the only one who celebrated christmas like I. Getting my nuts stomped to a pulp"
[2:39:43 AM] SmashBro: "We should all learn a valuable lesson from this man!, He risked his life to try and prove a point and all you could do was stare like lambs awaiting to get killed.
Christmas is about helping others! Not being greedy and hoping they die!"
[2:40:42 AM] Longevity: the people were confused they grew up with commercialism and thought christmas was about recieving presents
[2:41:56 AM] SmashBro: they did not realize christmas was about helping others. not laughing at others misfortune.
[2:42:47 AM] Longevity: but the people so fixed to their ways could not change who they were
[2:42:58 AM] Longevity: they kept on being douchebags
[2:43:55 AM] SmashBro: and even to this day, because children have followed their parents teachings do not know even the true meaning of christmas and laugh at the thought of "Giving just to be nice"
