The lord of rings
2
Ok, so basically this is the story of a unlucky bastard who called "el chacotero sentimental" (the sentimental teaser)
if you speak spanish and you don't want to read this bad translation of the story here's the original one in spanish:
Ok, so this guy calls and he tells that he's 35 and his anonymous name is Ayatola blah blah blah, then, he tells that like 2 days after the earthquake (if you don't know there was a fucking big earthquake here in Chile), so there was this girl at his job and the girl had a problem with his roof, so this guy basically offered to repair the girl roof, the girl was pretty hot, so he offers to go and repair the roof with a friend, so... when the day of the repair comes, the friend leaves the guy alone, and he has to repair the roof by himself, so after the repairs, the girl offers the guy a cold beer, the guy goes in the house (the girls live with her parents and her parents are not at home at this moment), so the guy starts to drink his beer... and when he noticed the girl was sucking his dick... then he started to relax... then *CRACK* the girl bites his dick really forceful!, so the guy by instinct punches the girl for taking her out of his fucking dick... and the girl goes away bitting... then he noticed... the girl has an epilepsy attack, so his dick was spreading red liquid chocolate all over the floor, and he doesn't know what to fucking do, he thinks on going to the hospital in his car but he can bleed to death, so... he calls an ambulance and the ambulance take both of them to the hospital, the guy for having his dick broken in 3 and the girl for the epilepsy attack, then when he arrives at the hospital, it was like a cycle, two guys enter his room, take a look at his dick and lol... ~2 minutes~ 2 guys more enter the room, take a look at his dick and lol... then the guy gets bored and tell the doctor to stop of making a fool of him, so basically the guy goes at the operation room they put his dick as one again and the doctor tells him "don't worry it's still going to be functional... ah, but because we needed to suture, you're going to have like a little rings in your dick, but don't worry they're gonna be attractive for your sexual life, we can say that basically you're the lord of the rings, lol"... so, when our unlucky bastard friend thinks that anything could go wrong, the dad of the girl enter to his room... and yells at him:
-"How could... you! little piece of shit"...
-"how could i what?, ask that to your fucking daughter!, she broke my fucking dick in 3"...
-"yeah but... you punched her and now she has a purple eye!"
-"Holy crap dude, when a girl is sucking your dick and even pass a teeth on it you blow your fucking ass off, imagine that she bites it, you howl! dude, believe me, you howl!".
so, the lesson of this tragicomic story is... to ask a girl if she has epilepsy before she sucks your dick.
isn't he a unlucky bastard?
if you speak spanish and you don't want to read this bad translation of the story here's the original one in spanish:
Spoiler:
Ok, so this guy calls and he tells that he's 35 and his anonymous name is Ayatola blah blah blah, then, he tells that like 2 days after the earthquake (if you don't know there was a fucking big earthquake here in Chile), so there was this girl at his job and the girl had a problem with his roof, so this guy basically offered to repair the girl roof, the girl was pretty hot, so he offers to go and repair the roof with a friend, so... when the day of the repair comes, the friend leaves the guy alone, and he has to repair the roof by himself, so after the repairs, the girl offers the guy a cold beer, the guy goes in the house (the girls live with her parents and her parents are not at home at this moment), so the guy starts to drink his beer... and when he noticed the girl was sucking his dick... then he started to relax... then *CRACK* the girl bites his dick really forceful!, so the guy by instinct punches the girl for taking her out of his fucking dick... and the girl goes away bitting... then he noticed... the girl has an epilepsy attack, so his dick was spreading red liquid chocolate all over the floor, and he doesn't know what to fucking do, he thinks on going to the hospital in his car but he can bleed to death, so... he calls an ambulance and the ambulance take both of them to the hospital, the guy for having his dick broken in 3 and the girl for the epilepsy attack, then when he arrives at the hospital, it was like a cycle, two guys enter his room, take a look at his dick and lol... ~2 minutes~ 2 guys more enter the room, take a look at his dick and lol... then the guy gets bored and tell the doctor to stop of making a fool of him, so basically the guy goes at the operation room they put his dick as one again and the doctor tells him "don't worry it's still going to be functional... ah, but because we needed to suture, you're going to have like a little rings in your dick, but don't worry they're gonna be attractive for your sexual life, we can say that basically you're the lord of the rings, lol"... so, when our unlucky bastard friend thinks that anything could go wrong, the dad of the girl enter to his room... and yells at him:
-"How could... you! little piece of shit"...
-"how could i what?, ask that to your fucking daughter!, she broke my fucking dick in 3"...
-"yeah but... you punched her and now she has a purple eye!"
-"Holy crap dude, when a girl is sucking your dick and even pass a teeth on it you blow your fucking ass off, imagine that she bites it, you howl! dude, believe me, you howl!".
so, the lesson of this tragicomic story is... to ask a girl if she has epilepsy before she sucks your dick.
isn't he a unlucky bastard?
