Trouser Snake
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Name: Expectira Trouserius (Trouser Snake)
Location: Throughout the world
Description:
Varying from pink to black. Fangless, but with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from three to twelve inches, depending on its mood and subspecies.
Symptoms:
The snake attacks mainly women in the front lower abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous lump, then a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. However it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which can be fatal.
Habitat:
Usually found in bedrooms, but also open spaces, the back seats of cars, and in fact can pop up in the most unexpected places.
Antidote:
Various types of vaccines are available to women. But once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will complete recovery.
What to do when attacked:
Sucking the wound:
This method is most popular with the victim, but is not known to have achieved any success.
Milking the snake:
Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with thumb in front.Grip firmly and move the hand in an upward and downward motion.
This will see to that the snake becomes very aggressive and starts spitting
The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked
Once milked, the snake should remain harmless for about twenty minutes
[size=9]The HTML for the first two lines was being a fag with the when I tried to bold.[/h]
Location: Throughout the world
Description:
Varying from pink to black. Fangless, but with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from three to twelve inches, depending on its mood and subspecies.
Symptoms:
The snake attacks mainly women in the front lower abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous lump, then a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. However it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which can be fatal.
Habitat:
Usually found in bedrooms, but also open spaces, the back seats of cars, and in fact can pop up in the most unexpected places.
Antidote:
Various types of vaccines are available to women. But once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will complete recovery.
What to do when attacked:
Sucking the wound:
This method is most popular with the victim, but is not known to have achieved any success.
Milking the snake:
Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with thumb in front.Grip firmly and move the hand in an upward and downward motion.
This will see to that the snake becomes very aggressive and starts spitting
The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked
Once milked, the snake should remain harmless for about twenty minutes
[size=9]The HTML for the first two lines was being a fag with the when I tried to bold.[/h]
0
This is easily the most verbose and oddly classy penis joke I have ever heard or read.
Take my rep.
Take my rep.
